Is it bedtime?!!?

Hello all! Once again I feel like I've fallen off the face of the earth. I took Princess Bear (PB) to the Dr. on Friday for what seemed to be another mystery rash. (the teachers sage advice was that PB had bug bites) The main idea of the Dr's appt on Friday was to get the all clear to go to St. Louis for the endocrinologist appointment today. Ha! The best laid plans. The Dr. looked at PB and told her she was quite the mystery. There was a chance it could be chicken pox (and the vaccine is good for what then?!!?) or some unknown virus trying to exit her body. The Dr. basically said that if the bumps blistered and scabbed by Sunday it was chicken pox if not chalk it up to mystery virus. Needless to say either case not a fun weekend was in store for us. PB was pretty tired and grumpy but honestly who can blame her?!!!? Yesterday she had another spot that was burning into a nasty growing welt so I decided that St. Louis was out of the question.

Now I must say that despite the kind of ick weekend we had there were 2 very big highlights for me. The first was that I received my PIF prize from Heather at Wanting What you Have. I was so excited! It was the first time in a very very long time I'd won something so that in itself excited me. I was like a kid waiting for the postman! Heather sent some great goodies...seriously good hot chocholate, a wonderfully yummy smelling candle and a touchpoint book. I'll try to take photos tomorrow and start a PIF from this blog! Heather----thank you thank you thank you! I love everything!

The second biggie is that PB fell asleep and spent most of the night IN HER ROOM last night!!!! PB has been sleeping in my room since February. Long story but to no avail have I been able to get her back in her room. Something clicked last night & she was good to go. Tonight I set up her princess bed and she is sleeping in there again! WOOHOO!!!! Its the little things I tell you.

I feel like there's a lot more to fill you in on but I need to crash before I fall asleep on my feet. Look for the PIF giveaway tomorrow!

Blogging

So after my rant last night while still trying to operate with no real caffeine intake I started checking out the blogs I try to check daily. Jen over at Jen On The Edge did a post on five different ways that blogging has positively or negatively affected her. What a great idea! I'll jump on this bandwagon! So without further ado here we go!

1. I have learned so much from reading other blogs its almost mind blowing. I've come across people from walks of life that I would have never encountered otherwise. I have learned how to make my own laundry detergent, the basics of canning, OAMC, and cheese making. I learned more about Home Management Binders and Christmas Notebooks. I've gotten great suggestions from books to ways to help my insomnia.

2. Blogging is a wonderful outlet for me. I'm going through a relatively bumpy road in my life right now and although I do see a great therapist that's one hour a week. I can sit down and write out how I'm feeling about my day and it really helps put things in perspective sometimes. You can't ask for much more than that!

3. I love contests & giveaways. I've even shared some of them with fellow readers. I have discovered that blogs are a great way of finding out about contests and giveaways since the blogging world is so generous. I actually won a PIF giveaway last week! I'm so excited!!! I'll post a pic of my goodies when it gets here and then start my own PIF!

4. Sometimes I feel very shut off from the rest of the world. As an extremely extroverted person that is pretty tough to deal with at times. Being a single mom to a special needs child is somewhat daunting and I rarely get to go out socially and have very little adult interaction. I've also talked a bit about my struggles with depression. Blogging has really helped with this. It makes it harder for me to shut myself away when things are going well. I've also received tons of support and encouraging words. You might not realize it but a comment or email with an idea or a few encouraging words really can turn a bad day around.

5. Life is much funnier in the blogging world. Within all the rough days or serious situations there are also really funny moments. I can't even tell you how much I appreciate reading a laugh out loud blog when I'm having "one of those days". It makes up for only getting one Janet Evanovich book a year. Honestly I think of a few of my favorite funny posts and still chuckle out loud! Here are a couple of those if you feel like a good chuckle is in order!

Jen On the Edge detailing their visits with a squirrel “We can do that; we don’t even have to have a reason.”*

Heather recounting bath time at her house. Her blog is Want What You Have and here is that great story (I'm chuckling just typing this!)

Since Princess Bear is a single we don't have the sibling stories but I do love reading those who share theirs. It brings me back to my childhood with my sister. Bethany at Happy to be called Mommy shared Sometimes They're Not So Nice

So there you have it. Why I love blogging and how its been a positive in my life! So, why do you blog?

Her head spewed and green stuff came forth....

Just when I thought that things were going relatively well my mother turned into her usual self and the crud has hit the fan. If I don't do things exactly there way then I must move out. I knew that the rooms were really just an issue for my mom to hide behind but it really has gone to beyond the ridiculous. I understand that my parents aren't thrilled with me living here and frankly I don't like it much more than they do. I want to get my butt through school, in a program that will make it so I have some marketable skills and Princess Bear (PB) and I will be ok on our own. For some unknown reason my parents think that I want to stay here and have no plans on leaving. I could lay out my pans for them and they still don't believe it. My mom is generally unhappy in her life and chooses to blame it on me. Ok, seriously now folks if I had that kind of power over life would mine be like this?!!!? I would be rich, thin, NOT LIVING IN HER HOUSE! and hopefully have a good man by my side.

Now I know that I haven't been keeping up with the house work like I should but its so easy since NOTHING is ever picked up, cleaned up or taken care of unless I do it. My parents have never had a home that was ever generally neat or company ready. My mom has somehow convinced herself that if I moved out that she would suddenly start keeping up her house. So as of today I have to show my dad my budget sheet daily and a chart of what I do all day in 1/2 hour incriments. They think this is normal and alright for them to expect. I understand the absurdity of it but also know that for right now I have nowhere else to live. Can I just go stand in a corner and alternately scream and bang my head againgst the wall until I pass out?!!!?

I really hate that I'm stuck here and at their mercy. I need to figure out what program I'm applying to, get some credit counceling and make some plans. I have a basic idea of what I want but its time to get specific.

I know that unless you've lived this you're reading this going just get out. I wish it was that easy. I really can't explain it so I'll just say thanks for letting me vent.

Ever feel like life gets in the way of your plans??!!!!!!??

Man, I really didn't mean to be so MIA! Things have just been a bit crazy (or should I say crazier) around here. My dad was sprung from the hospital on Friday evening. Saturday was just a day for bumming. Princess Bear (PB) had swimming lessons. I love it know that she's good enough for me not to be in the pool with her! The other moms & I sit around and gab! I wish the lessons were longer! She's really improving with her water skills which isn't very surprising since the child would live in the water if she could! Then on Saturday afternoon PB decided a nap was in order....ok! Twist my arm! The only problem is it seems as if I take a nap I'm up even later than usual so I was up & greeting 4am...ugh! Sunday was FOOTBALL! I swear the Bears don't even have to try to give a game away...they do it with ease! In the past year PB has really picked up a lot of sports "knowledge". It was very cute to watch her watching the football game. She was sitting on the window sill in my room (her favorite perch...don't ask me why!) watching and then yelling "GO GO GO RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN the ball!" Yes my job here is done! :)

Yesterday I was given a wonderful treat! My sister took my mom & I for manicures! Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It was so nice to be pampered! I used to be one of those people that had the most incredible looking nails that they were often mistaken for being fake. My best friend & I are both kind of nail junkies. I realized that one of the many things I gave up due to my depression was doing things for myself...make up, nails etc. I'm trying to get back in the swing of things. Maintaining natural nails takes a fair amount of work but I do love it so I think I'll give it a whirl again. It was also so nice to just get out and have some me time. Please bare in mind I was gone from PB for less than 2 hours (more like 1.5 hours). At one point she went into the kitchen and sat in the dark. My dad found her and asked her what she was doing. Gotta love this response "Missing my mommy" How stinking cute is that? Its also indicative of the fact that short of school the child and I are constantly together. Maybe not such a good thing. I'm going for our annual birthday lunch with my 3 best friends this Saturday...hopefully she will behave for my parents.

Then just to keep me on my toes Princess Bear decided it was time to have another reaction. I'm trying to cut back her baths to every other day as it gets cooler. We all suffer from extremely sensitive and dry skin in my family. She wanted lotion on so I handed her the lotion bottle. It was Jason brand. I bought this because it was paraben free, dye free & fragrance free. I'm getting really crazy about the paraben factor with her since she already has an endocrine problem (we go to St. Louis next week for the Dr appt...I'll fill you in when I know more). Since parabens can harm the endocrine system and have been tied to cancer I make sure that everything PB uses is paraben free. Dyes & fragrance haven't really ever bothered her but you never know so why risk it? Just more junk for the body to unnecessarily absorb. PB was merrily smearing herself with lotion...including her face. Insert the really big OH SH#T! Houston we've got a problem! PB's face turned bright, fire engine red. No where else on her little body did she have this reaction but her face was totally red and hot to the touch. I sent her to the bathroom to wash it off and called my sister to have her do a search on the Jason lotion I used (she's my partner in crime in the whole going green not exposing our kids to unnecessary chemicals) then I take PB in the kitchen for more Benedryl (she got 1 tsp for her allergies earlier but she can have up to 2 tsps for an allergic reaction). I then take her into my room so she can sleep and I can keep an eye on her. My mom is having a complete fit at this point so I agree to call the Dr just to calm her down. The nurse calls back and takes down all the info and tells me what to watch for (welts, labored breathing etc). Since PB randomly breaks out in hives this is pretty much standard procedure. I call Walgreen's to get a refill on PB's benedryl since we're almost out. I carry PB into the family room so my parents can monitor her while I drive to Walgreen's. My mom starts berating me on how I'm so stupid and how could I have done this. HELLO! Like I gave this lotion to my daughter so she's have a reaction?!!!? I actually said something to her and left for the drug store. When I got home she apologized but asked if I'd learned my lesson...ugh! Today PB is just fine and back to her I've never seen the light of day shade of pale instead of fire engine red. It wasn't such a good day at school...she lost 2 of 3 possible stars...we'll blame it on a crazy night! (If not I may go into my "When in the heck did kindergarten get so tough and what is wrong with these teachers" vent and that's best saved for another day!).

And then something makes you smile & remember that its all ok!

So after doing a bit of woe is me and whatnot last night (sorry....I think I'm PMSy) I worked on my chem notes and waited for my mom to get home from the hospital (my dad was admitted but this is kind of standard procedure with his heart problems) so she could fill me in. I then vegged out and went to sleep around 1am. That is a decent hour for me believe it or not!

Then morning came. I heard my mom up very early puttering around getting ready to visit my dad before she started work for the day. I haven't heard anything so I'm guessing they're doing another stress test and that everything is cool. (really not trying to downplay this its just we go through this about every 3 months with my dad and never get any real answers...just check back with your cardiologist). I somehow kept Princess Bear sleeping until 7:30am! Bliss pure and simple I tell you! I'm also very glad because obviously my stress level is taking its toll on me...I woke up feeling absolutely drugged. You know the feeling of taking benedryl the night before but it isn't anywhere near worn off? That would be what I felt like! I didn't take any benedryl though so I'm a bit puzzled. I mention this because I'm not really a morning person. Never have been. My standard line used to be "It better be tall, blonde and damn good to get me up in the morning" Now all the body wants is copious amounts of caffeine to enter my body the moment my eyes open!!! So since under the best of circumstances I'm not a morning person let alone now feeling extremely stressed, depressed and drugged and its picture day at school for Princess Bear (PB). AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I had picked out an outfit last night so I was good to go on that front. I told PB that she could take a shower or bath in the morning. The best way of dealing with her wild can barely be controlled mop of glorious red curly hair. So do you think that happened? OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This mommy didn't even get her butt moving until 8:15am (school starts at 8:45am!) I'm so an awful mom. I threw a poptart, some applesauce and milk at the kid while I tried taming the hair with detangling spray. I got the princess dressed and ready and out the door and she was only 3 minutes late for school. Not a perfect morning by any means but considered there was no blood shed and I was caffeinine free we weren't doing too badly!

Then it was off to my weekly meeting with my therapist. I am not one of those people that is upset that I see a therapist. I figure its my one hour a week to really let loose and explore myself and where I'd like to go and grow as a person. Anyway I digress. I fill in my therapist on the past weeks going ons and we explore some things like the fact that my interests in men is undergoing a very marked change. I've always been very into a man's man type of guy. That said I'm not looking for a testosterone driving caveman. I just want a man that is a football watching, fix my car and mow the grass but can still cuddle afterwards kind of guy. I'm still looking for those things but now all of a sudden I'm really becoming HUGELY turned on my intelligence. Not your average I'm a smart person and can hold my own intelligent. Rather I'm talking very deep, philosophically motivated, true to himself and more than book smart kind of intelligent. Is any of this making sense? Goodness I really feel like I'm babbling but that's ok. I'll get more into this another time. It was just a great session today. Made me look at some things and question even more so I'm a happy camper with that.

Then I come home and start the daily I'm going to check the computer and see what is going on in the world today. I check email, my ebay stuff and then move on to blogs. I love checking blogs its very calming and sometimes just downright hysterical (if you don't understand check out Jen on the Edge here I'm still laughing just thinking about todays post). Then I actually log into my blog to see if there are any comments. I love getting comments...it makes me feel like I'm not just talking to myself here! One of the comments waiting for me this morning was from Cameron...Wayne's son. Cameron is just one heck of a human being is all I can say! I read it and it immediately reduced me to a sobbing mess (in a good way). It was so nice to know that he's a really good kid (yes I know he's not a kid but you know what I mean!). It made me so happy that in spite of Wayne bailing on him that he's still very together and caring and for not really knowing him I'm incredibly proud of him. His mom obviously did one heck of a job. Since I'm still coming to grips with and finding out the extent of Wayne's many many many lies I have no idea how much Wayne really had to do with the kind of incredible person that Cameron has grown up to be but I hope there is something of him in there. It made me remember that in spite of it all Wayne really did have some goodness in him and that's what I loved. Its getting easier to deal with the fact he's gone (from my life) but I'll always love him and be glad for him to have been a part of my life and for me to be ok with it.

OK...its time for a belated birthday something or other!

So I'm having another one of those days...you know the one where you simply wish you never got out of bed? I can't even put a finger on what exactly I'm bummed about. Its a list of things that are running around in my brain & won't quiet down:

-Its Wayne's (the ex idiot...sorry feeling a little negative & bitter today) birthday. Its hard to forget since its so close to mine.
-My uncle is still not doing very well. He can at times blink in response but is showing signs of another infection.
-My dad is taking everything with his brother so badly that I had to take him to the ER earlier this afternoon. He & my mom are still there.
-Princess Bear has been receiving only bread, cheese and carrots for lunch for a week...yes a WEEK because the lovely school didn't process her lunch paperwork properly. My poor kiddo just rolled with it & the teacher said nothing UGH!
-I'm so broke its not even funny. I'd be in flipping extasy over a mere $100.00 to get me through the month at this point.
-I turned *gasp* 35 on Sunday.

So I've decided that I'd like to learn some lessons from my wonderful readers and blog friends. If you have any friends that you think can offer me some sage advice please feel free to pass this blog along!
-Tell me about the more positive aspects of getting older!
-Tell me your best birthday story from the time you didn't have a 1 or 2 as the first number of you age!
-Give me some great ideas of relatively easy goals for the next year....I'm at a loss. I don't want anything too easy but my plate is a bit full for writing a novel this year!
-What book have you reread and liked so much better as an adult?
-What is the one thing you'd like to do before your next birthday?

Ok....these are mere suggestions...got something else? Throw it out there! I'm looking for things so I can have a fulfilling, happy, growth centered year! Seriously comment away! I'm going to randomly draw a comment number 2 weeks from today. That person will receive some wonderful aromatherapy lotion that I whip up especially for them!

My kid is such a trooper!

Today Princess Bear (PB) had a cookie swallow test. For those who aren't familiar with this test it involves drinking various consistencies of barium while being x-rayed to see if you are aspirating or not. PB has gone through this tests basically since birth. We knew that PB had reflux within a few days (actually my best friend figured it out...I thought she was just spitting up!). Anyway, at 3 weeks old I was nursing PB who decided to add the first of many gray hairs to my head by turning blue while nursing. We were actually at the breast feeding resource center (PB was nursing for an hour at a time every hour and a half... she was killing me!) so they sent us to the pediatrician immediately. They checked her pulse ox numbers and decided the best route was admission into the hospital. Now please bear in mind that at birth PB was in the hospital for 5 days. We'd been home barely 2 weeks and we were back. Well, the thing we walked away from this particular hospital stay was that PB not only had reflux but she also silently aspirated....both during swallowing and during reflux for liquids to enter her lungs. She was sent home on an apnea monitor so if she did reflux enough to interrupt breathing it would sound so I could get help. She wore that awful thing until she was 10.5 months old. She was put on thickened liquids and has been on them to varying degrees since then. I told PB about the test last night because I didn't want to spring it on her. Its always a fine line with kids...you don't want to freak them out but what is worse being a little scared and having mommy reassure you or being very scared because a procedure was sprung on you last minute. PB is still very scared of shots after all of the needed ones for kindergarten and the last round of blood tests for the endocrinologist. I assured her that there were no shots involved and she seemed to be relatively ok with everything. This morning we talked about it again & she was ok especially because my mom was going to be there to pick her up and then for the test as well. What is it about the best laid plans?!!!? PB was in an assembly when I went to pick her up so I switched plans & dropped my mom off at work. The plus of her working at the hospital is that she can meet us whenever PB is in for anything. I explained to PB the change of plans and that she couldn't eat until after the test. That didn't go over so well. Finally its test time (I'll skip over the admission process....lets just go with the fact that PB is entirely too familiar with the hospital!) The test was going relatively well & PB was holding court as she tends to do. Every couple of swallows she would stop drinking and change who was holding her hand and who was holding the cups for her. I'm doing my best to keep her calm but also watch the monitor (you see things in real time) and listen to the speech path (who we've known since PB was a baby) and realizing that things are going as smoothly as they should. In the meantime my mom is promising PB that this is the last time she'll have to do this test....hold the presses....is my mom not watching the same test I am?!!!? I tried to nip this one in the bud but she keeps on murmuring over and over...this is the last time for this test. It was like laughing in the faces of the g-ds. Test finishes and ta da............. PB is still in moderate danger of aspirating. She doesn't need thickened liquids but cannot drink out of an open cup in the near future. She has to use a sippy cup (we tested 3 of them) or a cocktail straw (a regular straw would allow too much liquid). Now since we're having so many problems with the school I'm sensing a big problem with lunch time since they are doing such a good job monitoring everything else. The plus side of all of this is that PB went skipping out of the hospital with a smile on her face and acted like she didn't have a care in the world! Me...I was ready for a nap! Goodness...my kid amazes me and makes me so dang proud!

Sharing some of my favorite blogs

So I thought I'd take a few minutes and share a few of my favorite blogs with you & why I like them. I'd love it it you do the same. Maybe I'll find some great new blogs to read!

So without further ado here we go (not listed in any order of greatness!)

An Army Wives Life by my friend Suzy. I like this blog because I've known Suzy FOREVER! Ok maybe not that long but since I was around 13. We worked together for awhile when I was pregnant with Princess Bear but then I didn't work there anymore & didn't keep up with Suzy. She found me on myspace & we started chatting again. She actually was my motivation for blogging! Suzy is super supportive as we come from somewhat similar backgrounds which is so nice!

Want What You Have I honestly don't know how I happened upon Heather's blog but I'm so grateful I did! I know consider Heather to be one of my "online" friends and have gained so much knowledge from her! Heather is an awesome person who really has figured out what she wants in life and how to achieve it. She is also very willing to share her knowledge with you. Every time I email Heather off blog she responds quickly and is so kind! Heather is a pro at being frugal; but not cheap! She has some amazing tips! I also think that her Cakesie and Princess Bear are sisters at heart! Its nice reading about someone else who has a high spirited child as well!

The Simple Cajun Life Another one of those blogs that I don't remember how I happened upon it but I'm sure glad I did! It was the first time I'd really read about someone eliminating HFCS from their childs diet. Princess Bear has some behavior issues that I think can be at least helped with diet so I'm trying to slowing eliminate dyes and preservatives from her diet. As soon as I do that I'll start getting rid of HFCS. PB also has some sensory issues. We've made a lot of progress and there are times that I can even have enough good days in a row that I can almost forget...then we take a trip to Sam's or Walmart. Its nice to read about another family with similar issues and how they deal with the issue at hand.

Happy to be called Mommy by Bethany. Again...don't know how I found this blog! If you truly want some inspiration check out Bethany's blog! She's amazing! She just opened a shop on etsy (check it out here )She does some really really neat container painting. (Bethany I need to ask you about some autumn, Christmas & winter jars!). Bethany & her husband have this "I can do it" attitude that I just love! Bethany built a club house for her kids. Her husband is currently constructing a HUGE aquarium. Bethany has also blogged about making homemade cheese, various canning projects and OAMC. I wish I was just a bit as talented and motivated as Bethany!

Jen On The Edge by (obviously!) Jen. Again somehow found it...don't remember how! But I can say that Jen is always a good one to count on when a chuckle or big old belly laugh is needed! She is one of those women that is clearly very intellegent, loves being a mom & wife and has kept her sense of humor about her! She's also building a green house....how cool is that?!!!? Jen also contributes to Mamarazzi another place for a great dose of humor. I loved yesterdays post about pregnancy clothing on a certain actress. Feel free to go check it out!

Slurping Life by Melody. I don't know if I found this blog when I was searching under special needs or giveaways. Melody is a mom to a couple of special needs kiddos and has such an incredible outlook on special needs parenting. She also has great giveaways but has moved that to another blog. Melody is also an absolutely incredible photographer. She makes me want to go back to high school and start developing my own pics again (ahhh...the pre digital days!). Melody also contributes to 5 Minutes for Special Needs. One of Melody's sons is having surgery today, I'm sure she's appreciate any and all prayers for a safe surgery and quick recovery for Wil.


So there it is for today. Not all of my favorites...I'll save more for another day but this is a good start! Have fun checking them out!

Prayers please if you don't mind

Hi. Just a quick post today. My uncle Bob, my dads youngest brother, is fighting for his life right now. He was diagnosed with MDS a few years ago. My middle uncle was a match for a bone marrow transplant so he fortunately was able to go that route and after a long battle went into remission. His health hasn't been the same ever since though and he's had many complications along this way.

He was admitted into the hospital for a wound that wouldn't heal a few days ago but was holding his own. He's taken a couple of really bad turns though. Yesterday his blood pressure 83/42 and medication is barely stabilizing him. He also is septic and still on a broad spectrum antibiotic until they can find the source of infection. Today he was intubated and his kidneys have started to go into failure. My mom & dad are on there way up there right now. They left work & didn't even stop at home because it looked so bad (its a 3.5 hour trip)

My uncle is only 12 years older than I am, 47, and the father of 3 boys. My uncle and I haven't always gotten along (My nickname for him is Uncle Asshole) but he's still family & I love him. He's fought really long and hard and I'm hoping he'll do it again but know that any and all prayers are very appreciated.

Thanks!

http://www.123glitter.com/comments-graphics/

Ready to move

Ok, today was Princess Bears (PB) first early dismal due to school budget cuts. We were in our living room waiting for my sister & nephew to come over. Now I'd emptied the pool & dealt with the city guy at 9:30 this morning. Well another city car is cruising down the street. Many of our neighbors as well as we have been ticketed for not having "proper" garbage cans. Evidently there is a city wide problem with rats. Our cans had some holes the the raccoons ate in the lids. My dad repaired them so everything is fine. Today is garbage day so this city code enforcement care is driving down the street. I'm not worried because I've dealt with the pool & the garbage cans are good to go. This car then parks in our driveway. Now I'm usually pretty laid back but I'm still livid about the pool thing. I go out to talk to this guy (a new one) and he says that they have received a complaint that our wood pile is blocking a storm drain. Ummmm...nope don't think so! I tell the man if he gives me a few minutes to lock up the dogs that I can take him back there or he can come back when my dad is home. The guy then says well if this was a valid complaint you wouldn't offer to take me back there immediately so I'm writing it off as an unfounded claim. One point in our favor against a seemingly disgruntled neighbor. I call my dad & I'm ready to blow. My dad is like don't worry its fine. Like bloody hell it is! Then I call my mom to fill her in as well. She's not happy but not as angry with me since someone is obviously bored or pissy and its no longer just a problem with the pool. Then my sister gets here & I tell her everything.

My sister & I are very alike except for the fact that I'm more "evil" of the 2 of us. It takes a lot to upset us but once you've done it watch out. I'm also the one who all my friends called when they needed ideas on how to get even. I never actually committed the act...just provided the ideas. You know....forking someone's yard. Writing a message in weedkiller. Nothing awful. Not mature either though & for the most part I don't condone such things. That said, heaven help me if I figure out which neighbor is responsible for these calls! Unless we replace our entire fence I can't put up PB's pool next year. I can get a taller pool though & that's ok...yep...makes no sense!

So at this point I'm livid and ready to go on a manhunt. Any ideas on how I can calm down?

Wordless Wednesday

UGH! Why can't people mind their own business?!!?

Ok...I'll do a few things before I start my rant. First of all: Heather & Jenontheedge...thank you! I appreciate the kind words & advice. I'm looking into calling a new IEP meeting. They did move PB's seat so she's by the AC now. Its getting cooler by the day here so hopefully it won't be an issue much longer.

Quick updates. We had a busy busy busy weekend here. My girlfriend & I literally ran the kids from pillar to post on Saturday. I called Maria after Princess Bears (PB) swimming lesson on Saturday morning & asked if she wanted to hit the Farmers Market with us. PB was begging for green beans and blueberries (not together thank goodness!). I thought we could go to the Farmers Market downtown but they close at noon...ooops! So we hit the midtown Market. The kids had a ball and Maria bought some gorgeous purple mums. Then we did a bit of shopping and took the kids to lunch. After that it was the grocery store. I have decided that the grocery store should only happen when you have a ratio of 2 adults per child. Maria & I were at Kroger with PB, Caleb & Emily. We were outnumbered man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PB was in rare form (not such a rarity these days!). We got home around 4pm (we'd left around 10:30) and I was so ready for some down time! Nope! My mom decided we needed to go shopping with her. I did get a new shirt for my bday from my parents. We also took PB to Borders. My kid loves books. She has an obscene amount of books but at the open house the other night they were giving a new book to each child. We were going to pick one for PB but since she was going to be in school the next day they said she could come pick it out. Well, the teachers wouldn't let her go pick out a book (insert growling mama bear here). Then again PB didn't have a very good day on Friday (only received 1 of 3 possible stars) so it was hard to justify getting a treat! Anyhoo~ on Friday my mom promised to take PB to the store so she could pick out a book and Saturday was the time to do it. My mom forgets that PB can only handle so much stimulation at one time and that the limits had already been pushed. It wasn't the smoothest trip to the store ever but PB added 2 new books to her collection and was a happy camper in the end. On Sunday it was my mom's work picnic. My mom works for the 2nd or 3rd biggest employer in town so this isn't a small picnic. This year was a lot of fun for PB. She fell in love with the carousel! She also talked all weekend about riding a real pony. I've wanted to get PB in horseback rididng therapy for a few years. Unfortunately every time we tried to get her on a horse she freaked out. She talked of nothing else for a few days so I thought we might be on the right track this year! Then as we were walking up she started freaking out. Thankfully once we got up to the ponies she was gung ho again. I have some pics that I'll try to post later. PB had an absolutely wonderful time & there were tons of activities for kids so it was a pleasant afternoon. I wrapped up the weekend by watching my beloved Chicago Bears stomp on the Colts. I know I've mentioned this before but I'm a die hard Bears fan. I haven't been looking forward to this season because I wasn't holding out much hope for the team. I mean our first round draft pick couldn't even make it through the first day of training camp! Urlacher had surgery off season so we didn't really know how he would hold up. On the flip side of all of this we were playing the Colts. If I had to pick a team as a second favorite its them! First of all Tony Dungy is one heck of a coach. The man deserves so much respect in my mind. He never yells...ever! Not even in the locker room. How awesome is that! I wish I could keep my cool like that yet still convey the messages I wanted to get across! Then we'll move on to Peyton Manning. I love that man! Not only is he quite possibly the cutest thing walking but he's a great QB which as a Bears fan I never get to see!

So that is the story of our weekend...except for the fact that I also got sick. Not a little sick but running a temp, can't hear want to crawl into bed and die sick. I went to the Dr yesterday. I have a sinus infection (no surprise there) but I also have a bad ear infection in my left ear and possibly strep throat. Please take me out and shoot me! Several years ago when I was working at Great Lakes I got a very bad case of ricky crude (a mega case of the flu that goes around boot camp every fall). It was my first year there and I had just opened my new building. My boss wouldn't give me any time off even though my temp was over 104*. After several days of a high temp my ear drum ruptured. It healed relatively well and I've had a pretty easy time of it since then since that could have opened up a lot of issues. Not so lucky this time. Saturday night I heard a pop in my hear and knew I was in trouble. I'm on big doses of antibiotics and trying to sleep a lot. My parents actually watched PB for an hour last night so I could take a nap! It was awesome!!!

NOW FOR THE BIG VENT!!!!!!!!!!

At 7:30 this morning the phone started ringing. PB & I were just in the process of waking up & I wasn't in much of a talking mood so I let the machine pick it up. A few minutes later I come into the other side of the house & check the machine. Its the city saying we've been cited for our swimming pool. Now folks this isn't a big pool. Its 12' x 30" deep. PB loves her pool and its frankly the only outdoor activity she can do in the summer. The pool is in our backyard which has a 4' fence all the way around it. The fence is padlocked because we're always worried about the deaf Dalmatian a)getting out or b) someone trying to pet it. The only way into our yard is for someone to climb the fence. According the the city this isn't enough and we also don't have the right permit. I'm draining the pool today. I was trying to make it to the end of September but it isn't showing any signs of warming up. What absolutely infuriates me is that someone called the city about this. WHY?!!!!? The pool isn't hurting anyone and is inaccessible unless you're blatantly trespassing. If someone was worried about the pool (& only a few neighbors can see it) why didn't they talk to us? It pisses me off because unless we can replace the gates next year so they self latch we can't have it up again. So my child gets the short end of a stick that frankly she's already been beaten with. So there is my big vent for the day. The guy from the city is being really nice but they won't tell me who called in the complaint. I'm ready to throttle someone.

I'll try to keep you posted and post some pics later. I'm off to start draining the pool and then head to class.

Isn't it amazing....

I must admit I've been in a bit of a funk lately. As much as I was looking to the school year beginning again (much more for Princess Bear than myself... does that make me a bad mom?) its been very bittersweet. I miss the carefree feel of summer. I'm highly unmotivated in my chemistry class. Unfortunately I need a swift kick in the arse because I need to pass this class and do it well. I've been planning on applying for the dental hygiene program. Applications for next fall have to be completed by Feb 1st 2009. I MUST have completed and pass this chem class before I apply. I'm also giving some consideration to this program. I could handle working for the government again! (Thinking FEMA)

Anywoo~ I digress. I'm in a funk and Princess Bear (PB) isn't a happy camper either. I know that my problem is my depression as well as SAD kicking in and kicking my butt. Add basic exhaustion to that & I'm not happy. Princess Bear (PB) is in a funk too. Its breaking my heart. She loved school so much the past two years and was really looking forward to returning this year. This is a new room, new teachers, new routines and it isn't sitting very well with PB. To top it off she isn't wanting to wear her eyepatches. On Tuesday morning she was literally hysterical about the dual thought of wearing a patch & returning to school. This is so not normal behavior for her. To add insult to injury I'm about ready to blast the school for some bits of stupidity on their part. After all the hulabaloo about the air conditioner they aren't even sitting PB near the AC unit. On Friday she was a table away...not bad but why? Yesterday when I took her in she now has a permanent seat...all the way across the room from the AC unit. HELLO! If she overheats she cannot bring her body temp down well by herself. Consequently seizures are a very real possibility. I don't understand why they aren't taking this seriously. The other half of this is that PB is supposed to have a one on one aide for PE to monitor her so she doesn't over heat. It was the only reason I signed off on her IEP. I really wanted to keep her in adaptive PE. I found out on Friday that they haven't had her one on one aide. I was ready to launch. I mean I walked out of the school, buckled PB in & called Mason thinking he would calm me down (he's the somewhat significant other and my constant voice of reason). He was equally upset. That just spun me up even more. Tonight is the open house. I'm going to try to walk in and not do bodily harm to anyone. Also, the last 2 years PB was in a room of 10 kids. In her IEP meeting last May we asked about class size since they really wanted her in this integrated room. We were told they had 20. Ok. I understand that she has to get used to a bigger room but that made me nervous. They have 27 kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My child is so unhappy and by the time she gets home in the afternoon she is so moody, clingy and generally unhappy its just downright sad. I don't know what to do or say to make things any better. Yesterday she went in her room and sat on her bed and just started strumming on her guitar (after she closed the bedroom doors). This isn't my bright, vivacious, fun loving little girl.

Today its been raining buckets all day. I don't like rain. Actually I despise it. I will at all costs avoid going out in the rain. I'm sure this hasn't helped my general outlook. I went to pick up Princess Bear from school. I rush out with an umbrella to get her. She wanted to help hold the umbrella and was laughing with complete glee and stomping in puddles. This kid LOVES the rain. She wanted to get out & dance in circles. It just made my heart smile. Isn't amazing that even in the middle of a rut it doesn't take much to make you appreciate the important things?