I'm back!

Man I wish there was a good reason why I haven't been posting but it's just been crazy.  Crazy busy, crazy family stuff, crazy sick.  Just crazy.  Within all the crazy there has been some awesome stuff like Princess Bears (PBs) IEP at school.

To begin with let's go with my sister.  Now I love my sister but she can also drive me bat shit crazy.  There are times that I'm thoroughly convinced that the only reason I deal with her is because I love my nephews so much.  There are other times we have a ball together.  Now my sister is one of those type A people that just can't relinquish control at all.  Lately there are a couple of things in play.  She has a growth on her thyroid that is growing pretty quickly.  They made the decision to remove the growth and see if they had to remove part of her thyroid.  That surgery was supposed to happen in January.  Then it got bumped back farther and farther.  Now why she is ok with this I have no clue.  Get that shit removed!  The reason this comes into play for me is that there are certain things that I've been kind of holding off on until I have more time.  People with autoimmune diseases don't heal as quickly from anything and surgery definitely takes longer to bounce back from.  So I started putting off stuff around the holidays thinking "OK....I'll get to this after Kate's surgery".  I figure it's going to be at least a month, possibly longer, of my parents and I pitching in and helping in any way we can.  So at this point the surgery has been scheduled for March 10.  Hoping it doesn't get bounced back again and hoping that it's smooth sailing.  My sister also hurt her wrist.  She's had awful carpal tunnel since her first pregnancy and thought it was that.  It got to the point that she couldn't turn her wrist enough to start the ignition in her car one day.  She had an MRI ordered but hadn't scheduled it.  Then she was in so much pain that she wanted it yesterday.  When she did call to schedule it was going to take a week or so.  Then she was wanting my mom's help to see if she could pull off a scheduling miracle.  The result was it had nada to do with her carpal tunnel and that small fact that she tore cartiledge in her wrist. Ooops!  Not good.  The week before that we'd just been discussing my hand surgeon because I'd finally decided that I was ready to go ahead with my carpal and cubital tunnel surgery this fall.  My sister informed me that my Dr. is battling cancer and it doesn't look good.  My sister knew she was going to be referred to an ortho and was trying to get referrals on who was known to be good.  Long story short she was referred to my Dr.  Who's trying to stay in the game by still working 2 hours a day.  In addition to her cartiledge being torn she also has a cyst in her wrist.  The Dr said at some point surgery is going to be necessary.  No don't get me wrong.  I totally respect my Dr for wanting to stay in the game but can someone tell me what a Dr with a brain tumor is doing operating on people?  Along with my sister is the fun stuff being my nephews.  We had an awesome day a few weeks ago where my parents, PB, myself, my sister, bil and nephews went out to lunch and then to the Caterpillar Visitor Center.  It's basically a museum about Caterpillar and has a ton of there different machines on display.  I have a to of pics though so that will be it's own post.

PB's IEP was a couple of weeks ago.  I was less than happy that PB was sitting in on her IEPs already but what was done was done.  This year the teacher sent me a list of goals that she had in mind BEFORE the IEP and asked my opinion!!!!  OMG!!!!!!!  This teacher rocks in so many ways!!!!  My mom laughed at me because I still needed to listen to Rammstein a few times before going in.  She doesn't get how I can listen if I don't understand what I'm listening to.  It's angry music.  It gets my pissed off on.  I have one play list like that named Pissed off/Get in the pit.  It's usually best to avoid me when that's on.  I'm already pissed or working my way into it.  Anyway PBs tutor also sat in on the IEP which was nice.  Always helpful to have people on your side.  My big concern was the fact that PB is in a regular division science class.  She's actually doing very well in it.  I just don't know what real knowledge is going to be retained from this.  So while she is doing well it's also frustrating.  My idea was since she's so into the Arts why can't she take both Art and Chorus as her elective courses.  It's still getting her in regular division classes so the peer interaction is there but it's stuff she likes.  Isn't life stressful enough and if there is no long term knowledge being gained what is the point?  Well, they're trying to convince me it's the fact that she's learning study skills.  So no pulling her out.  I'm not happy but we'll see.  I did get it written into her IEP that they have to have 1 class period a day dedicated to reading, vocabulary and comprehension.  So overall it was a win.

For the second time since December my mom, PB & I have been sick. This one has SUCKED!  Respiratory influenza and at the same time I had a raging sinus & ear infection.  The cool thing is with my Dad being retired he really helped pick up the slack.  Today was PBs first full day back since she got sick last Tuesday.  She'd done a half day Tuesday, stayed home all day Wednesday and a half day yesterday.  Since I was feeling like death warmed over and it didn't conflict with having to pick my mom up from work on the days she was there only a half day my Dad picked her up.  He'd bring her home and feed her lunch.  It was awesome to have the help! I have read 4.5 books in the last week!  Another plus!

Tonight was PBs monthly PuP social.  PuP stands for People with Unlimited Potential.  They have a monthly social event for special needs individuals.  Tonight was a Valentine's Dance.  Dinner is provided as well as door prizes.  PB was so stoked to "be going to a dance!". I'm not sure how things will work for her in high school so I do love that she gets to have these experiences.  My name was one of the ones drawn for a door prize so I let PB pick it out.  She's now the proud owner of a Star Wars calendar.  I still don't get how she and my nephews are completely obsessed with Star Wars when they have seen any of them.

Last but not least.  This is what is going to be going down a week from tonight.


 PB is so excited that she's about ready to launch!!!!

What to write about....

Y'all know I love giving my two cents about what's been on TV lately and the past few days haven't disappointed as far as fodder.  Jay Leno signing off from the Tonight show and the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics.  Both very worthy and will most likely be covered in the next day or so.  Today I'm just going to do some random mutterings about life here.  I had the experience to actually go out without Princess Bear (PB) for awhile today.  She always makes me feel very guilty about this and I tend not to do it often for many reasons.  Some valid some just plain old guilt.  Unfortunately there are times that people I want to meet with can only happen on the weekends.  I do hate that it takes away from my time with Princess Bear but also see that it has benefits like me enjoying my time with her more when I return.

 PB's school IEP is coming up this Wednesday.  I'm not looking forward to it.  For as many high hopes as I had with the school change to middle school this year very few came to fruition.  Lately, it seems that the level of learning is stagnant and I'm not very happy about that.  SO, after spending some time on Facebook with friends that are teachers, both regular division and special education, I have a better feeling on how to go into this IEP.  My friend Tim who has been a friend since high school and is a very very very knowledgeable special education educator met me for coffee today.  He told me to bring a copy of PB's IEP from last year.  I also brought the school planner that they insist she use and a notepad full of questions.  Here are just a few concerns I have:
-that the appropriate level of material is being taught.  I've always made it very clear that I want PB to be challenged.  That said I don't want her scared.  Covering 9/11 for almost a month in class and making the kids watch a film showing actual footage of the Towers coming down is something my child should not have been subjected to.
-the lack of communication.  They use this dandy little planner to send home what homework PB has.  Most of the time she has NO homework.  This does not tell me what she is learning and I feel like I have the right to know what is being taught to my child.
-they let the kids watch movies in the classroom A LOT!  Like on a daily basis and I'm talking Disney movies here not anything with any sort of education value.  This is because the skill range is so varied in this room and the teacher needs to do so much one on one.  To keep the other kids busy she lets the watch movies.  Really????  OK, then lets do some sort of education movies and activities that can be useful.

So, Tim went through PB's entire IEP and told me what I should have them put where.  What assistive technology I should request.  He also gave me some really great ideas for next year when they are changing the formatting on state testing.

I feel so blessed to have a friend that can give me such incredible advice!  It was also nice to revisit old times with a friend.  Tim was commenting that he would have never guessed when we were back in High School that I would have swung to the other side of the political gamut and become a hard core conservative.  It was a really interesting conversation.  We were also laughing about the inevitable bullshit that is always part of high school.  Since we went to a Catholic high school that was going through a consolidation process there were even more trials than I think other peoples high school years had.  Trying to consolidate 2 schools that had been rivals for years I'm sure was no easy task.  Then you add a bunch of hot headed teens to the mix that always think they're right and it gets interesting.  We were laughing about our band years (or for me year).  I was a percussionist.  I played the drums and the bells (no not hand bells think more like xylophone).  One parade the band participated in I was stuck being the bass drum player.  I stand 5'3" on a good day.  That drum gets dang heavy man!!!!

We also discussed my lack of hair vs Tim pushing it with an almost afro.  My sophomore year I did a complete 180* and went from being a total little prep to being hardcore alternative.  This at some point early in my sophomore year meant buzzing my hair except for my bangs.  My bang were chin length.  The were dyed platinum blonde and had a black, red or purple streak depending on what I felt like.  I look back now and am amazed with how patient my parents were.  They figured it was just hair and I wasn't hurting anyone.  Go Mom & Dad!  At some point after the consolidation the school decided that my haircut was unacceptable and I had to grow it out.  The female dean was such an idiot that she would measure my hair once a week to make sure I was growing it out.  I still did some drastic stuff with my hair that they weren't able to ban.  Then they went after my earrings.  I had a total of 10 ear piercings.  I would keep on of my cartilage piercings on the top in and then a lower one on my other ear.  The next year they made it a rule that the piercings had to be the same on each side.  Seriously?  This is worth making a new rule?  So after having to grow out my hair the last two years of high school I promptly shaved my head again 2 hours after the graduation ceremony.  I had the appointment made with my hairdresser a month before graduation.  That night there was a lock in party at the school and they for a few minutes thought about not letting me attend.  Again....seriously????  These are some of the reasons I truly hate the parochial school system in this town.  I will admit it is heads and tails above the public school system but it left a bad taste to this day.

Actually, one of the other things Tim and I discussed was were I should move to get a decent special education department for PB.  All the places I have been looking at Tim gave his stamp of approval to.  A few of them he even mentioned were the most Catholic public schools you'd ever encounter.  Some of the farm communities around here are pretty religious communities but do not have a Catholic school option.  Therefore you have a public school filled with lots of kids who hold their faith important and it doesn't seem to be an issue.  That would be nice for PB.

Ok, enough random mutterings for now.  I need to take a shower and sleep.  I'm still fighting the general ick and once again have a sinus infection.  I go back to the Dr. on Monday.  I know a few things need to happen.  This chronic sinus infection cycle has got to stop.  Also I cannot go back on prednisone right away.  My kidneys have been letting me know they aren't happy.  Ugh! 

Isn't it amazing....

I must admit I've been in a bit of a funk lately. As much as I was looking to the school year beginning again (much more for Princess Bear than myself... does that make me a bad mom?) its been very bittersweet. I miss the carefree feel of summer. I'm highly unmotivated in my chemistry class. Unfortunately I need a swift kick in the arse because I need to pass this class and do it well. I've been planning on applying for the dental hygiene program. Applications for next fall have to be completed by Feb 1st 2009. I MUST have completed and pass this chem class before I apply. I'm also giving some consideration to this program. I could handle working for the government again! (Thinking FEMA)

Anywoo~ I digress. I'm in a funk and Princess Bear (PB) isn't a happy camper either. I know that my problem is my depression as well as SAD kicking in and kicking my butt. Add basic exhaustion to that & I'm not happy. Princess Bear (PB) is in a funk too. Its breaking my heart. She loved school so much the past two years and was really looking forward to returning this year. This is a new room, new teachers, new routines and it isn't sitting very well with PB. To top it off she isn't wanting to wear her eyepatches. On Tuesday morning she was literally hysterical about the dual thought of wearing a patch & returning to school. This is so not normal behavior for her. To add insult to injury I'm about ready to blast the school for some bits of stupidity on their part. After all the hulabaloo about the air conditioner they aren't even sitting PB near the AC unit. On Friday she was a table away...not bad but why? Yesterday when I took her in she now has a permanent seat...all the way across the room from the AC unit. HELLO! If she overheats she cannot bring her body temp down well by herself. Consequently seizures are a very real possibility. I don't understand why they aren't taking this seriously. The other half of this is that PB is supposed to have a one on one aide for PE to monitor her so she doesn't over heat. It was the only reason I signed off on her IEP. I really wanted to keep her in adaptive PE. I found out on Friday that they haven't had her one on one aide. I was ready to launch. I mean I walked out of the school, buckled PB in & called Mason thinking he would calm me down (he's the somewhat significant other and my constant voice of reason). He was equally upset. That just spun me up even more. Tonight is the open house. I'm going to try to walk in and not do bodily harm to anyone. Also, the last 2 years PB was in a room of 10 kids. In her IEP meeting last May we asked about class size since they really wanted her in this integrated room. We were told they had 20. Ok. I understand that she has to get used to a bigger room but that made me nervous. They have 27 kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My child is so unhappy and by the time she gets home in the afternoon she is so moody, clingy and generally unhappy its just downright sad. I don't know what to do or say to make things any better. Yesterday she went in her room and sat on her bed and just started strumming on her guitar (after she closed the bedroom doors). This isn't my bright, vivacious, fun loving little girl.

Today its been raining buckets all day. I don't like rain. Actually I despise it. I will at all costs avoid going out in the rain. I'm sure this hasn't helped my general outlook. I went to pick up Princess Bear from school. I rush out with an umbrella to get her. She wanted to help hold the umbrella and was laughing with complete glee and stomping in puddles. This kid LOVES the rain. She wanted to get out & dance in circles. It just made my heart smile. Isn't amazing that even in the middle of a rut it doesn't take much to make you appreciate the important things?

Is it naptime yet?!!!!?

Yes, I am still alive! Just very rushed right now! Wrapping up the summer and then starting the new school year. I started classes on Tuesday. Chemistry...not my favorite thing and I have a tough prof w/ no discernible personality. Should make for a fun semester!!!!

Princess Bear add her kindergarten roundup the other night. For a child that loves school it didn't go well at first. She wouldn't even walk into the building. After some coaxing and then threatening to leave her outside by herself she finally followed me & my mom in. I had all the fun paperwork all ready to go and already knew who her teachers are because of her IEP meeting. (For those of you who don't know what an IEP meeting is its an Individual Education Plan meeting...all therapists, teachers, specialists and family are called in...hopefully only once a year! to plan for the next year). One of the things that has been stressed since the start of school last year is that air conditioning needed to be put in PB's new room. The first 2 years PB was in an all air conditioned part of the building that was called "the Round". Strictly special ed and therapies. Since PB is going to be in an integrated room this year there is no A/C in the room. Not usually a necessity but in PB's case HUGE necessity. (PB cannot regulate her body temperate and overheats very easily. If her temp isn't monitored she can have seizures or go into heat stroke...it doesn't take much either). It was written into her IEP last May but the Principal alerted everyone much earlier. As of today no A/C. They aren't sure when it will be ready (its a window unit for Petes sake! Get the unit there and my dad & I will put it in!!!) I'm trying to remain calm but I don't know how long that will last!

PB is wrapping up the summer in grand style...she's been swimming daily this week and her birthday is (finally!!!) going to be this Saturday. I'll post pics! On a sad note our neighbor Ryan is not staying in school but moving back home. PB is so attached to him so I'm a bit worried about him not being around.

Now for the comic relief of today. I got a call from my sister earlier this evening & she wanted to speak to my parents..no go she was stuck talking to me. Tyler had his 2nd swim lesson tonight and is a water kiddo just like PB. A little girl leaned over in class and poked Tyler in the eye. Tyler reached over and popped her little check...then they started holding hands (I don't remember but isn't this a bit early for 9 months?!!?). I've been having a grand time telling my sister that her son bitch slapped a little girl!!!

PB IEP update

Ok...I must apologize for the lack of writing. I'm a pretty late night person and was doing most of my blogging then when Princess Bear (PB) was asleep. It worked out well all the way around. Now my mom is on a kick that I have to be in my room at X time so that has effectively ended my nighttime blogging for the most part. I'll try to do it during the day or if I can miraculously get PB down for a nap then naptime! Anyhoo~ on for the updates.

I know I mentioned PB upcoming IEP meeting. (For those of you who don't know an IEP is Individualized Education Plan). Basically we have an IEP meeting at the end of the school year to review PB's performance and come up with a game plan for the upcoming school year. PB is finishing her last of two years in a special education preschool room. To say that we have been incredibly blessed to have an incredible teacher and wonderful aides working with PB is truly an understatement! She has grown and blossomed so much in two years it is truly mind blowing. When she started school she was basically non-verbal and today has a vocabulary pushing 300 words! Not to say that we're at home plate yet but I've seen what my child is capable of and I'm so hopeful for the future! My dream for PB was to have her in an integrated classroom as soon as possible. When PB returned to school this fall she had made so much progress over the summer that her teacher and Speech and Occupational therapist were already talking about an integrated kindergarten situation! I was so excited! Then as we drew closer and closer to the IEP meeting I began getting more and more nervous. PB is almost like a third aid in her classroom. She really loves and thrives being a helper for the class (many of the children have physical disabilities and are in different adaptive equipment so she loves to help her peers). The class room she is in has a max of 10 students. The small environment was incredible for her! PB needs help keeping on task and concentrating and that is so much easier in a small group. She also doesn't feel like she is "in trouble" when redirected. The teachers can work at a slower pace which is nice. Well, in an integrated room there would be 18 students and 3 adults. I started worrying about PB not being able to be the big helper...something she really loves and is a great incentive for her. Also that she tends to be a bit of a clown and I thought if she felt lost in the crowd that she might act out more to get some attention. I talked to her teacher and occupation therapist about this in March and they both felt very strongly that PB be given the opportunity to be in an integrated room. I know that I'm a nervous Nelly but this is my only kiddo and as time goes on it becomes apparent that the situation won't change anytime soon if at all. So on Monday my mom and I are at the IEP and I'm still beyond nervous. Then we're all gathered and the kindergarten teacher hadn't even been told about the meeting....oops! She gets in there and PB's current teacher and therapist start reviewing this year. All in all pretty darn good. The main thing is to work on getting PB to concentrate! She's made huge progress in all areas so I'm the proud mommy. Then everyone starts setting goals for the next year. First one out of the gate...to be able to count from 1-20. Ok...that would be great except for the fact that one of the goals for this year was to have PB count from 1-10 and that goal still hasn't been accomplished. For some odd reason PB wants to leave out 4, 5,6 every time! In my mind we should get that done before adding more numbers to the mix! I just don't want to think we're setting her up to fail. The teachers explain that if she only gets to 12 that's great and if she gets to 20 is even better so I agree (reluctantly) to the goal. I don't get too involved with the OT & PT goals. I completely and totally trust her OT and consider her the one of the biggest blessings and cheerleaders we've had since PB started school. PT I don't like much but think she knows her stuff so I'm not worried there. Then we get to the Speech Therapist. PB is also still receiving speech at Easter Seals once a week because her delay is so prevalent. Miss Deb (from Easter Seals) who adores PB more than life itself is very adamant that PB must get oral stimulation at school. The school Speech therapist sees no reason for it and won't include it in the IEP. NOT HAPPY! Thankfully she is pregnant and not going to be back in the fall! Yes, doing the happy dance! Then we get to PE. PB loves going to PE. She is a very active kiddo and desperately needs that time to burn off extra energy. Now one of PB's biggest issues is that she cannot regulate her body temperature at all. When it is hot out or she exerts herself too much she can overheat very easily. That can lead to seizures. She's been in adaptive PE for the past 2 years and that is held in the Air conditioned part of the building and she is very closely monitored. For next year she can't receive Adaptive PE (I was told that would be no problem) so I'm really ready to launch at this point. (We'd already been promised AC in her room). Everyone in the room is trying to come up with some workable solution. I refuse to let them cancel PE altogether....she needs to move! The "regular" PE teacher is also evidently a really hard a-s and wouldn't let PB out of PE even if she was overheating unless it is a) written in the IEP and b) has a detailed note from her Dr. (no problem there!) The solution we finally come up with is that for PE there must be a one on one assistant working with PB. I'm not totally comfortable with this but it seems to be the only option for right now. Keep your fingers crossed!

PB has met her teacher for next year a few times and was allowed to visit for an hour today. I'm going to observe a bit next week. My baby is growing up too fast!!!!

Well its getting to be time to get PB ready for bed so I'm off for now!!!

Oh! I'm seeking some good, easy and economical dinner solutions so if you have any please feel free to drop a line!!! Thanks!

Another day another Dr's visit

Well, we're now at more than a week since Princess Bear (PB) got sick. The coughing has gotten absolutely horrid so I called to make an appointment for today. We couldn't get into her pediatrician but a nurse practitioner instead. The good news is that PB's ear infection is completely cleared up! Then such as the life with PB you take one step forward and 3 steps back. She officially has been diagnosed with allergic constrictive airways. Now since I'm severely asthmatic & the idiots other kids have asthma this shouldn't be a surprise. Just one of those "Dang I was really hoping we didn't have to deal with this". Oh well, can't win them all right? I also found out that the possible reason PB has been such a devil child is a reaction to the albuterol. Know I feel like the worlds worst mommy since I was being all you have a time out and it wasn't really her fault. They've switched to a different neubulizer treatment and daily pulmicort so hopefully PB will stop sounding like she wants to be a living lung donor (without the use of anesthesia or a hospital) Is it awful that I'm totally ready for my child to go back to school? I really want (actually its probably crossed to a need at this point) some downtime. I love PB with all my heart but I also know that she's a bit more spoiled and a way lot less disciplined that she should be. I also know that this is all my doing. Unfortunately its that guilt complex of having a special needs child. Unfortunately its biting us in the butt and I'm working my tail off to have things turn around. That said I also do my very best to get all errands done while PB is in school. Its just so much easier and saves the bit of sanity that I have left. I still need to buy things to complete Mothers Day projects and I need some Mothers Day cards. I feel a midnight trip to Wally World coming on...anyone want to join me?

Other than that things were low key today. I got the notification of the rescheduled IEP meeting for PB. Its set for the 19th. I'm having a hard enough time with my baby turning 5 soon. Then add the whole kindergarten factor to it and I'm ready to lock the kid in the closet and tell her to stop growing up. PB started special ed when she was 3 so she's been in school for two years now. The first year was just 1/2 days but this year was all day. The idea of kindergarten shouldn't be so daunting but it is! Then you can add the fact that PB has been slated for a nontraditional segregated classroom. Basically its a kindergarten room with two teachers; one "normal" teacher and one "special ed" teacher. The feeling is that she's made so much progress that this is the best move for her. I'm worried that she's going to get lost in all the confusion. I won't say for a moment that PB has made a huge amount of progress. At times its almost miraculous if I sit back and think about it. This child was basically non-verbal when she started in August 2006 (she had approximately a dozen words under her belt). At her last Easter Seals eval she had a vocab of over 250 words. The kid sings now, plays with dolls and has a huge amount of compassion and empathy for her friends. Its so neat to watch her grow. I just hope that this new classroom is the best for her.

Now I'm going to sign off and start working on my Mothers Day gift for my mom. While watching my tape of Criminal Minds of course. My mom and I didn't have the almost weekly debate of how Criminal Minds is such an irresponsible show because they show things in too much detail and give people ideas. UGH! If you're that sick you probably aren't at home checking CBS for ideas! Just my take!