What to write about....

Y'all know I love giving my two cents about what's been on TV lately and the past few days haven't disappointed as far as fodder.  Jay Leno signing off from the Tonight show and the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics.  Both very worthy and will most likely be covered in the next day or so.  Today I'm just going to do some random mutterings about life here.  I had the experience to actually go out without Princess Bear (PB) for awhile today.  She always makes me feel very guilty about this and I tend not to do it often for many reasons.  Some valid some just plain old guilt.  Unfortunately there are times that people I want to meet with can only happen on the weekends.  I do hate that it takes away from my time with Princess Bear but also see that it has benefits like me enjoying my time with her more when I return.

 PB's school IEP is coming up this Wednesday.  I'm not looking forward to it.  For as many high hopes as I had with the school change to middle school this year very few came to fruition.  Lately, it seems that the level of learning is stagnant and I'm not very happy about that.  SO, after spending some time on Facebook with friends that are teachers, both regular division and special education, I have a better feeling on how to go into this IEP.  My friend Tim who has been a friend since high school and is a very very very knowledgeable special education educator met me for coffee today.  He told me to bring a copy of PB's IEP from last year.  I also brought the school planner that they insist she use and a notepad full of questions.  Here are just a few concerns I have:
-that the appropriate level of material is being taught.  I've always made it very clear that I want PB to be challenged.  That said I don't want her scared.  Covering 9/11 for almost a month in class and making the kids watch a film showing actual footage of the Towers coming down is something my child should not have been subjected to.
-the lack of communication.  They use this dandy little planner to send home what homework PB has.  Most of the time she has NO homework.  This does not tell me what she is learning and I feel like I have the right to know what is being taught to my child.
-they let the kids watch movies in the classroom A LOT!  Like on a daily basis and I'm talking Disney movies here not anything with any sort of education value.  This is because the skill range is so varied in this room and the teacher needs to do so much one on one.  To keep the other kids busy she lets the watch movies.  Really????  OK, then lets do some sort of education movies and activities that can be useful.

So, Tim went through PB's entire IEP and told me what I should have them put where.  What assistive technology I should request.  He also gave me some really great ideas for next year when they are changing the formatting on state testing.

I feel so blessed to have a friend that can give me such incredible advice!  It was also nice to revisit old times with a friend.  Tim was commenting that he would have never guessed when we were back in High School that I would have swung to the other side of the political gamut and become a hard core conservative.  It was a really interesting conversation.  We were also laughing about the inevitable bullshit that is always part of high school.  Since we went to a Catholic high school that was going through a consolidation process there were even more trials than I think other peoples high school years had.  Trying to consolidate 2 schools that had been rivals for years I'm sure was no easy task.  Then you add a bunch of hot headed teens to the mix that always think they're right and it gets interesting.  We were laughing about our band years (or for me year).  I was a percussionist.  I played the drums and the bells (no not hand bells think more like xylophone).  One parade the band participated in I was stuck being the bass drum player.  I stand 5'3" on a good day.  That drum gets dang heavy man!!!!

We also discussed my lack of hair vs Tim pushing it with an almost afro.  My sophomore year I did a complete 180* and went from being a total little prep to being hardcore alternative.  This at some point early in my sophomore year meant buzzing my hair except for my bangs.  My bang were chin length.  The were dyed platinum blonde and had a black, red or purple streak depending on what I felt like.  I look back now and am amazed with how patient my parents were.  They figured it was just hair and I wasn't hurting anyone.  Go Mom & Dad!  At some point after the consolidation the school decided that my haircut was unacceptable and I had to grow it out.  The female dean was such an idiot that she would measure my hair once a week to make sure I was growing it out.  I still did some drastic stuff with my hair that they weren't able to ban.  Then they went after my earrings.  I had a total of 10 ear piercings.  I would keep on of my cartilage piercings on the top in and then a lower one on my other ear.  The next year they made it a rule that the piercings had to be the same on each side.  Seriously?  This is worth making a new rule?  So after having to grow out my hair the last two years of high school I promptly shaved my head again 2 hours after the graduation ceremony.  I had the appointment made with my hairdresser a month before graduation.  That night there was a lock in party at the school and they for a few minutes thought about not letting me attend.  Again....seriously????  These are some of the reasons I truly hate the parochial school system in this town.  I will admit it is heads and tails above the public school system but it left a bad taste to this day.

Actually, one of the other things Tim and I discussed was were I should move to get a decent special education department for PB.  All the places I have been looking at Tim gave his stamp of approval to.  A few of them he even mentioned were the most Catholic public schools you'd ever encounter.  Some of the farm communities around here are pretty religious communities but do not have a Catholic school option.  Therefore you have a public school filled with lots of kids who hold their faith important and it doesn't seem to be an issue.  That would be nice for PB.

Ok, enough random mutterings for now.  I need to take a shower and sleep.  I'm still fighting the general ick and once again have a sinus infection.  I go back to the Dr. on Monday.  I know a few things need to happen.  This chronic sinus infection cycle has got to stop.  Also I cannot go back on prednisone right away.  My kidneys have been letting me know they aren't happy.  Ugh! 

I love my nephews!

Today was mainly a Lukie and Aunt Sarah day which was alright by me.  I love when I get to spend one on one time with the boys!  I think we're going to have to start the Farm and Fleet adventures soon as well as the pumpkin farm.  Yesterday I introduced the boys to Jimmy Buffett.  Tyler loved it because the youtube video I picked for Volcano was from a show at Wrigley.  Anything that has to do with his Cubbies is ok in his book.  The fact that it was about a volcano was also cool with him.  Cheeseburger in Paradise didn't go over so well.  What can you do?  Today Luke wanted to keep on watching the same Wubzy (?) Halloween video again and again and again and again and again and again  (you're getting the point here right?).  Finally Aunt Sarah had enough and decided it was time to once again further his music education.  He was completely loving Marley which is not a big surprise since most kids do.  Princess Bear (PB) loves listening to the lion man.  I have no idea why she calls Marley the lion man but she has ever since she was little.  When I totaled the car a few years ago I had to go get everything out of it.  I thought I was done and went on my merry little way.  I got home and PB asked to listen to Marley.  Oh shit!  It was still in the cars player.  They hadn't demolished the car yet so Marley was saved.  So Lukie and I chilled with Bob Marley for awhile.  After that I introduced him to the Specials.  We were listening to Message to you Rudy and I asked him what he thought.  He looked at me and then looked down at the ipad again and turns back to me "pretty cool".  I love that he actually was thinking about and listening to the music.  I also didn't know that Amy Winehouse covered the song.  The things you'll learn on youtube!  After that we listened to some Sublime, Alan Jackson and The Clash.  It'll take some time but I'm sure that I will have the child broken out of my sister and brother in laws little music mold!  Don't get me wrong I love my sister and brother in law and think that they are great parents.  I also think that my sister and brother in law are as straight possible.  I think in their little world their boys will be perfect little kids and go to school and get straight A's, never buck them or the system and go on to school to become Doctors or lawyers.  My sister declared from the time that Tyler was an infant that her kids would never be allowed to play football in school.  Also once they were in college my sister and brother in law would only help financially if they were studying an approved career option.  Now since I'm the one living with my daughter at my parents maybe I shouldn't say anything except for the fact that PB and I are here because it's better for her and long ago my parents decided that they didn't want me to work but concentrate on raising PB.  Probably one of the biggest mistakes I've made overall but that's a different post.  The bottom line is that PB is a secure, happy little girl that is doing amazingly well and has made huge progress despite what the Dr's told me was possible.  Ok so back to my nephews and I guess PB as well.  I've always said that PB and the boys were more like siblings than cousins.  They fight like siblings and love like siblings.  I think at times my sister and bil being the straight laced ones will help all three of the kiddos.  There is also times that have a free spirit rebellious mom/ Aunt is a good thing.  I think it will all balance out in the end.  I'm also so grateful that I have my nephews and that they are going to be spending a few more years here before Cat transfers my brother in law.  It's been so nice to have an active part the lives of two little kids that don't have the complicated medical needs.  I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything in the world and she's taught me more than I could have ever imagined.  She's more of a blessing than I deserve.  I also know that I'm human and every once in awhile I want to know why or what if.  I get that you can't live your life doing what ifs and I really do try not to visit there often.  I remember around PB's first birthday I added up how many days she'd spent in the hospital in her first year.  Now what?  I never did that again.  I also know that living in land of whys and what ifs isn't a way to help yourself.  My family never understood why I was willing to have more kids after PB was born.  Why not?  First and foremost PB's diagnosis is not a genetic issue.  It is for her but it wasn't a passed down issue.  Then there is the obvious that if I was to have ever had another the DNA was going to be 50% different since her father and I parted ways long ago.  To me it was never even an issue of how could I have another child which is how my entire family felt but why wouldn't I.   I've always said that PB is an only that never wanted to be an only.  Another reason that I'm so glad that she and my nephews are close.  Even as recently as a year ago my uncle was hassling me that I would even consider having another child and how it would be so unfair to PB and yada yada yada.  Since I'm now at the point where having kids is pretty much a moot point I would really like to give the various family members who've given me a hard time about it a bitch slap.  Wow I'm in another post.  All about the dysfunction of my family and lack of boundaries.  It's kind of like my mom's brother and sister not like PB's name and giving her a nickname before she was even born.  Although I hated that my sister wouldn't tell us the kids names before they were born I get it.  OK so there it is.  A rundown on today along with a lot of rambling.  I'm now off to make dinner.  Once again my daughter is already bitching about my menu choice.  10 bucks says she eats like a starving child and begs for more.  Then its time to get the house picked up because Farm Kings is on tonight!