What's in a name?

Really.  What's in a name?  A LOT!  Ask anyone that is pregnant trying to come up with a name for their upcoming bundle of joy!   In the last two weeks I've had 2 different conversations about baby names.  It's no easy task!   When I was pregnant with Princess Bear (PB) I broke up with her father very early in the pregnancy so I was doing the name picking by myself.  The two names I had picked were Kylie Rose or Jordana Shai for a girl and Luke Owen or Cade William for a boy.   My plan was to wait until I had the baby and "see" which name fit them.   Towards the end of my pregnancy I became engaged to my best friend and thought he should have some say in the names.  He really didn't like the names I had picked.  He thought one sounded like a cheerleader and the other a stripper.  Neither of which we wanted in our family.

 

  We picked a first name pretty quickly.  If you're very curious about PB's name you can find it HERE.  I don't post it on a blog because of issues with her birth father.  Actually in the baby name book we were using it was listed as a boys name but we liked it.  Then less that 2 weeks before giving birth my sister was married.  One of the groomsmen is a family friend that lives in Ireland with his wife.  His wife told me that it isn't a first name for boys or girls there but a surname.  We still used it.  

The middle name was much was harder for us to come up with.  I wanted Delaney as a middle name.  Wayne told me to go outside to the front porch and try screaming it in one breath.  If I couldn't it didn't pass the "You're in trouble" scream test.  It didn't pass.  Then we narrowed it down to Rose which is my middle name after my maternal grandfathers mother and Lee which is my mom's middle name.  We were going back and forth for a few days but knew we had a deadline before Wayne was deployed.  He called one day and was so excited he thought of the PERFECT middle name!  Paige.  Great name.  As a matter of fact it's my sisters middle name.  Therefore not mine to use! 

 

This leads up to a whole different issue on baby names.  "Calling dibs on a name".  My dad is one of 6 kids and my mom is one of 4.  I have more than a few cousins.  16 cousins on my dads side and 8 on my moms.  A fair amount but not so many that names needed to be recycled either.  More on that in a second though.  When my mom and dad were having kids they decided if they had a boy that wanted to name him Matthew Owen.  Matthew because they liked it and Owen after one of my mom's closest friends who had died.  My parents had me and my sister and shortly after my sister was born one of my dad's brothers had his first child.  They named him Matthew and my mom was PISSED.  She had reserved that name.  I really don't think you can do things like that.  I always thought I'd have a Victoria Rose and call her Tori.  One of my exes stole that name.  Good thing since 3 years ago one of my cousins had a Victoria Rose.  I have 2 cousins from my dads side of the family that are named Joseph George.  Really?  The first was named after both of his grandfathers.  Makes sense.  The second was born several years later and is named after 1 grandfather.  Really?  You couldn't get more original?  

Being original without naming your kid Apple or Moses is somewhat hard.  Names go through trends.  I mentioned that I liked Luke Owen or Cade William for boy names.  Now it was more than 12 years ago when I was picking out baby names.  Since then Owen has blown up for a boys name and Caden/Kaden became huge as well.  I think if I were having a child now both of these names would be out of the running.  Another girls name that I LOVED was Harper.  LOVED it!  Then Victoria Beckham used it.  Throw that out the window.  Having a name that you're going to have 3 friends in your class with the same name sucks.  Trust me!  I speak from experience!  My named was supposed to be Jordana but my parents changed it at the last minute to Sarah.  Walk into any crowded room and scream Sarah and you'll have numerous responses.  It sucks! 

It's hard picking a cool name that makes sense.  I've never got the monthly or seasonal names that didn't sync up.  For example a little girl born in December but named June.  A little girl named Autumn that was born in February.  A boy named August born in April.  You know that your kid is going to spend the rest of their lives saying "Yes my name is June but I wasn't born in June.  Weird, right?".  Then you have the whole initial thing.  Like Phillip Ian Grahm.  P.I.G.  Yeah...do you really want that to be your kids initials?   One of my cousins has a child whose initials spell out Mr. T.  No he doesn't have a little mohawk or wear a ton of jewelry but that's what your mind goes to isn't it? "I pity the fool!" !

Then there are the names that have correlating songs.  Again, something I can relate to!   Can I tell you how sick I am of this song???  HERE
To add insult to injury they misspelled Sarah!  Then there is this one  HERE  or you can go a bit more modern.  HERE  I've had both of those sung to me more times then you can count!  One of my closest friends is named Maria so she hears this one all the time.  HERE  When I was managing a tanning salon one of the girls who worked for me was named Cecilia.  She hated people singing THIS or THIS to her so she started going by CeCe.  I've always liked the Times Two version since Simon & Garfunkel was way more my parents thing!

You also have to go with names that don't come with preconceived notions or you identify with people you don't like.  I mentioned before that my parents originally planned to name me Jordana (pronounced Jor Donna) from the Leon Uris book Exodus and movie based on it.  My mom loved that she was a strong woman and thought it was a pretty name.  My dad mentioned that everyone would call me Donna.  My mom had gone to school with someone named Donna that she hated.  There went that name!  When I heard that story my first reaction was "I'd go by Jordi!".  I have one friend and a cousin that have named their kids Micah.  That instantly reminds me of the little boy I went to grade school with named Micah that was a bit different and was teased unmercifully.  The name now makes me sad for what happened to that boy.  So when my friend named her son that and did a "Isn't that a great name?!!?" it's always a fine line between not lying and not hurting feelings. 

So far my daughter hasn't said much about her name except for the fact that she hates that everyone shortens her name to Kier all the time.  She also doesn't get the fact that her name is not common and trying to find one of those name key chains at Disney was not going to happen!

So if you're still having kids and are playing the name game...have fun with that!

What's a Name anyway?

I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names. ~Zsa Zsa Garbor

Last night I was watching Duck Dynasty while prepping some work for Princess Bear (PB) to study.  Sadie was in this episode and I found myself thinking "I love that name!".  Which then brought me to the fact that it is a variation of Sarah and the fact that I'm not a fan of my name.  Basically because you walk into any crowded room and scream "Sarah!" you'll have a least a few of us turning our heads wondering which one you're addressing.   WAY WAY WAY too common!  

Then my sister & I were talking this morning and she asked me if I got her message that their puppy was born on Friday.  The odd thing was on Friday before we knew the puppy had been born we were discussing names.  She and my brother in law were trying to find an English name they all liked as a memorial to the time they lived in England.  At that time she was considering Gemma.  My sister stopped watching Sons of Anarchy last season.  I filled her in on what Gemma had done to Tara.  Suddenly the name Gemma lost it's appeal.  They were also trying to find a name that my nephews would agree on.  Yeah, lets leave the name picking to a 3 year old and a 6 year old and think they'll agree!  My youngest nephew was insistent on the puppy being named Minion.  Then he tried for Dave because it's his favorite minion.  Doesn't matter that the dog is a female.  I did say that they could go with Minion and call it Minnie.  It's didn't pass muster with my sister.  Sorry Lukie Aunt Sarah tried!  So the dog is going to be named Dailey.  

Then my sister & I started discussing how we named our kids and the names in our family.  Everyone in our family is relatively outspoken.  Actually my sister took note of how much grief I received when I was pregnant with PB and trying to pick a name that she wouldn't even discuss what names they were considering until the baby was born.  Definitely a good idea in this family!  There are also some unspoken rules for naming kids in our family.  My mom is Jewish and Jews have a tendency to name babies after someone that has passed away.  If you don't want to use their name then you take the first initial as a memorial and pick a name with that initial.  You do not name the baby after someone that is still alive.  It is considered very unlucky.  

So let's look at my name.  Sarah Rose.  My mom's mother's name was Sarah.  She hated it so much because it was so overly used when she was growing up that she legally changed it.  Sounds like a good plan to me.  What she changed it to I don't quite get but hey it made her happy.  Grandma changed her name to Shirlee.  My mom always said that her mother picked a hooker name.  I'm sure my grandmother loved hearing that.  My mother then took a name that my grandmother hated so much that she didn't just go with a nickname but legally changed it and saddled me with it.  Thanks Mom!  It could have been worse though.  My mom's middle name is Lee and there of course the Lee in the end of Shirlee the way my grandmother spelled it.  The Lee is from a cousin that was killed during the Holocaust.  My mom came oh so close to naming me Sarah Lee.  Seriously!  Then a few months before I was born my Mom's grandmother passed away.  Her name was Rose.  So now my name was changed to Sarah Rose as a memorial to my great grandmother.  Oh so much better than Sarah Lee, don't you think?  When I was born my dad had a itty bitty corsage made with a baby tea rose made and pinned to my little hospital onesie.  The corsage is still in my baby book.  Roses have always been a big thing because it being my name.  My nursery was done in yellow roses.  Every big accomplishment in my life has been celebrated with roses.  We have tons of roses planted around our house.  

My sister's name was picked just because of the fact that it sounds lovely.  Her name is Kathryn Paige.  Now if you call her anything other than Kate she will not respond in any way, shape or form.  My mom wanted her to be a Kate but put Kathryn on the birth certificate for use only when she graduated and got married.  She also picked the spelling of Kathryn because it is the most unusual spelling of the name.  Paige was just because she liked it.  It flows.  

Thankfully my parents stopped after having 2.  My dad really wanted a boy and wanted to name him Hezekiah.  Can you imagine?  I guess if you have a flock of kids that all have very biblical names Hezekiah would work but not seeing it with the names they'd already picked.  

So this will be one of those times I share PB's name- it's Kiernan Rose.  Now how did I come up with this name?  When I first found out I was pregnant I had a boy name instantly Cade William.  My Dad's name is William.  Remember how I said Jews don't name children after people that are still living?  Although I was raised Catholic my mom still was completely freaking out that I wanted to use my dad's name as a middle name for a boy.  For a girl I wanted to go with Kylie Rose or Jordana Shai.   Kylie was from my best guy friend growing up and I'd always said I wanted to name a girl after him.  Unfortunately we'd grown apart and hadn't talked for quite awhile by the time I was pregnant with PB.  I actually spoke to him for the first time in almost 4 years the night before I gave birth and he was one of the first people up at the hospital to see her.  Rose was obviously from my middle name.  Jordana is a character in a Leon Uris book (Exodus). Actually it was supposed to be my name but my dad convinced my mom that everyone would call me Donna.  My mom had gone to a girl with a girl named Donna that she hated and the name went out the window.  Um no Mom I would have gone by Jordie.  So those where the 2 girl names I thought I was going with.  My plan was to wait until the baby was born and see which name kind of fit the baby.  Half way through my pregnancy I became engaged to Wayne.  He was actually supposed to be PB's Godfather.  When we got engaged he asked if there would be any problem with him adopting PB.  Seeing has her birth father bailed immediately I didn't think there would be a problem.  In my mind that also meant that he had a bit of say in the babies name.  He wasn't thrilled with Kylie Rose or Jordana Shai.  He said one sounded like a cheerleader and the other like a stripper, neither of which we were having.  I never did ask him which was which.  Coming up with a first name wound up being pretty easy.  I'd had a baby name book from when I was in college with names highlighted and underlined and notes scribbled all over it.  We'd talk on the phone every night (he was in the Navy & stationed in San Diego) about names.  Kiernan was one of the names I'd had marked in the book.  He liked it.  Score!  We've got a name.  Now there are a few things I need to mention.  This particular name is actually considered a boy's name.  Seriously?  It didn't seem that way to us and we decided to go with it.  Then 11 days before I was due my sister was married.  One of the groomsmen was a good friend of mine from high school.  He now lives in Ireland and his wife is Irish.  She was asking what I was planning on naming the baby and I told her.  I also said I knew it was considered a boys name in Ireland but we liked it.  She said it is actually a surname.  As I mentioned this was 11 days before I was due to be induced.  Wayne was deployed at that point and I was so not going back to the drawing board at that point!  The middle name had been much harder for us to come up with.  We knew that Wayne was going to be deploying and we were up against a deadline.  Not that you can't email when they're deployed but it's not the same.  So I really wanted to use Delaney as a middle name.  I love it actually.  Wayne not so much.  He said it wouldn't pass the scream test.  You know when you go out on the front porch and scream the kids name because it's time for them to come home.  He thought it was too cumbersome.  We'd been going back and forth for a few days.  He called one day and was so excited and pleased with himself.  He thought he had the perfect middle name- Paige.  That might have been great except for the fact that it was my sisters middle name and kinda gave her dibs on whether she wanted to use it again or not.  Oops!  So we bounced some stuff back and forth and couldn't pick between Rose, my middle name, Lee my mom's middle name or one other name that I can't even remember now.  I left the decision up to Wayne.  He decided he liked the connection of the baby having my middle name.  Now I can say that from the time we had a name picked out I received a ton of shit about the name.  My mom wasn't a fan of the name.  Her brother and sister started calling her Kiki before she was even born.  By the way people don't nickname someone else child!  I got so much grief that at one point I emailed Wayne and asked him if we could possibly pick another name.  Of course he said yes but I decided to stay with what we had picked.  

My oldest nephews name was kind of predetermined in that his middle name was known from the time my sister and brother in law got married.  In my brother in laws family the first born son is always given his fathers name as his middle name.  There is leeway on the first name.  I think they just found a name they liked and my oldest nephew is Tyler Lawrence.  He is Tyler not Ty.  There were no guidelines for my 2nd nephews name.  He's Lucas William.  Lucas because they liked Luke and William because it's my dads middle name.  Luke was born shortly after my dads cancer diagnosis.  Remember the whole bad luck naming a child after someone living?  My mom was soooooo not happy that they choose William as a name with what was going on with my dad.  It's been almost 4 years so I figure it can't be that unlucky.  Of course with Luke you always have the Star Wars stuff going on.  I was at the hospital a few hours after Luke was born.  I picked him up and held him in front of me and in my best Darth Vader voice did "Luke I am your father".  It was most definitely the first but not the last time he'll hear that.  Actually at 3 he's all about Star Wars (without ever having seen the movie).  I was babysitting him last Friday and we were looking at the Star Wars stuff in the Lego catalog.  He wants the Ewok Village.  Yeah at $250 that is so above Aunt Sarah's birthday and Christmas budget. Sorry buddy!  Has for nick names Tyler has always been Tyler Bean.  Luke has been Lukie Bill.  

SO, this is how we do names in our family.  I think the lesson my sister & I both learned is to never share the name until the baby is born.  How do you pick names in your family?