What door to try now!

It seems like such a very odd day.  Actually it started last night.  I was watching Sons of Anarchy (SoA).  While this is one of my favorite shows I really think that some of the brutality this season has been over the top.  My sister was saying that she's about had it with the show because of it.  I get that raw, gritty violence aspect of it.  It is one of the things that makes it a show.  You can't exactly have a show about a motorcycle gang that is all freaking unicorns and rainbows.  That said ***SPOILER ALERT**** if you haven't watched last nights episode stop reading now!  Ok, that said Opie's death was just completely jacked up.  I even understand why they felt that Opie had to be the one to die and frankly Opie wasn't feeling too much on being part of the land of the living.  The sheer brutality of the fight scene though was horrid.

Ok, so enough about SoA.  Just that watching it made me feel a bit raw.  Also watching it was somehow enough to set my mom off on yet another tangent.  I had laundry going, dishes were done and the house excluding my room was picked up.  I wasn't about to go into my room because every time I walked in Princess Bear (PB) asked if I was going to sleep.  Oh in addition to having committed the crime of relaxing and watching TV I also had not taken the garbage to the curb for pick up.  I went to do it but my mom doesn't like it being down after dark.  After 10pm pretty much counts as dark unless it's summertime in Alaska.  I asked my mom what the deal was since she clearing wasn't worried about my safety (isn't it just peachy knowing that my parents honestly don't give a shit?) to which I got this response "I don't care about your safety I care about mine."  Um our neighborhood may have declined in safety a bit over the years but we're FAR from being in the hood and having to worry about being out after dark.  I'm thinking it's just another control issue with my mom.  Especially since she took it into a full blown issue with you must get up at first light and get it out and you better hope like hell that the garbage man hasn't come yet.  She then asked me what should happen if I missed the garbage pick up.  Yes she wanted me to pick a punishment for not putting the garbage out in time to her specs.  HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  How old are we?  The best part of all is that if I mess up the only one it effects is me since I'm the only one taking out trash.  So I might have more than 1 can next week?  Oh my!  End of the world.  Ok so that is more of me feeling just a bit... odd.

I really can't even put a feeling on what I'm feeling right now.  Tired would be the closest I can come up with.  Somewhere between that, raw and do not pass go give me a bottle of wine stat! 

So this morning I went to my sisters to watch the boys.  I brought some craft things to do something with the boys.  My sister is freaking out about having the entire side of her husbands family over tonight.  She was worried that the boys and I were going to make a mess.  It was an odd day there with Tyler being in pain and almost in tears about his stomach hurting and Luke being sick with general ick.  The boys picked up on their mom being out of sorts and it was just not cool.  All that said I did have a good time with the boys.  My sister so has met her match in those two!  Well played Karma, well played! 

We got a call from horseback riding therapy this morning as well to cancel today's session.  They had to put Hank my favorite horse there down this morning.  I was pretty bummed about that.  He was a gorgeous paint that just had a great personality.  I called to talk to Emma, the equine coordinator, this afternoon.  In addition to his age Hank developed some neurological issues that just made it so the only fair thing was to put him down.  Emma and I discussed that they aren't just animals.  They're pets.  Telling PB that horseback riding therapy is cancelled never goes over well so I really wasn't looking forward to the questions I knew she'd have.  One of her favorite horses Strawberry died over winter break and she still talks about it and asks questions sometimes.  So on the way home from school I told her that riding was cancelled because Hank died today and they needed to take care of things.  PB was so sweet and wanted to know if his eyes were already closed or if she could go say goodbye.  I said that his eyes were already closed.  It's times like this that her cognitive delays make it even harder along with the fact that she so needs her schedule and things to be status quo.  She then wanted to know when Hank would open his eyes again.  We decided probably when he got up to Heaven and was with Strawberry again.  She seemed to be ok with it all.  I'm sure there will be more questions. 

I've decided that regardless of my dad's feelings about me getting more tattoos I'm getting another.  I really want a white tattoo so I figure its kind of like not really getting one.  It's another control thing about living here but I'm about done with that.  It's not like I'm 16 telling them I want one.  It's also not like I have a lot (3).  So, I've asked on FB if anyone has any knowledge about white tattoos.  A lot of what I've read said that if you have darker skin color it isn't a good idea.  I'm wondering about if you're pale as hell and related to Casper.  I need to get in touch with Ted and see who I can go to here.  If you aren't familiar with white tattoos here is some INFO.  Actually I love this heart and want something similar with a K in it. 



So that is the story here.  Also prayers and thoughts going out to my friend Jen.  Her father passed away last night.  It was not unexpected but nonetheless still incredibly hard I'm sure.    I'm now off to peel PB away from the other computer and attempt to clean up her play shelves in the family room.  If I don't post for a day or two it might mean that the shelves won. 

Sarah

I'm back & basically in 1 piece!

Hi! I'm alive! I had my surgery on Feb 18th. Before that I was dealing with my mother and her crazy quest for a clean (ie sterile no one lives here house). Princess Bear (PB) was not thrilled at the prospect of me having surgery although the fact that her Dzadza (grandpa) was dropping her off at school almost made up for it. I had to be at the hospital at 5:30am. I'm allergic to latex so I was scheduled for the 1st surgery slot of the day. The bad part was I didn't get to sleep until after 3am. I love it too because you can't drink after midnight. That morning at admitting you have to do a pregnancy test. I tried assuring them that unless it was the second coming there was no way I was pregnant but they didn't want to take me at my word. So here I am several hours of no fluids or food and they want me to be in a cup. Hello! Usually there has to be intake for there to be output! Sometimes hospitals are crazy. Then I was finally taken to the surgery floor and put in a just oh so cute- NOT gown and a hat that made me look like an alien (it was metallic so it was supposed to help keep you warm). Since I had MRSA last year and still test positive for colonization I had to be in an isolation unit and all personnel had to have on isolation garb- again completely crazy. Even more so if you consider how many of them would probably test positive because of where they work. After having the IV put in and my history being taken a few thousand times my mom came back to sit with me. It was around 7:45 and I called to make sure PB was up and getting ready for school. I was really I got to talk to her that morning. The nurse joked that my Dr. would most likely walk in at exactly 8am and sure enough he did! The nurse anesthetist wanted me to use my emergency inhaler before surgery in an attempt to stop a bad reaction I usually have. Apparently my surgery took longer than it was supposed to and about the time my mom was doing a "wtf" to the staff the Dr. came out and talked to her. The surgery itself went fine it was just a bit longer in my elbow than he thought it should and then my asthma was a problem. The next thing I remember is someone telling me to take a deep breath. In recovery the nurse had to keep on telling me that because my oxygen level kept on dropping. The nurse in there was incredibly nice which was awesome. She called PB's school and asked them to get a message to PB that mommy was out of surgery & just fine. I stayed in the first stage of recovery for awhile because of my oxygen dropping. I finally got moved to stage 2 recovery and my mom came back. Again I would be fine and them my oxygen would drop and it was like I was almost drifting off to sleep. They finally got my oxygen to stay about 90% and let my mom me home. Can I tell you what beautiful things ice packs and hydrocodone are???? The first week it was basically 2 hydrocodone every 4 hours. Its pretty impossible to have your arm completely immobile without a cast. Then there is my child, cat & dog who all thought they needed to hover constantly. Below are some pics taken a few days after surgery and then a few weeks after the stitches came out. I started PT this week- yeah thats fun.

Now on the plus side of the surgery I had been getting a lot of sleep and did a lot of reading and watching TV. I appropriated my sisters copies of Season 1 and 2 of Sons of Anarchy. Its almost scary how much I love that show. I didn't watch the first season so I'd only seen a few rerun episodes before the start of season 2. The cool thing is that watching some of the episodes for a second time added a lot of perspective. I also didn't know that the actor that plays Otto is the executive producer, Kurt Sutter. I love that every show leaves me with a one line that I think about and chuckle. The guy also has an amazing sense of music and puts some really incredible songs in. Katey Sagal plays Gemma and is such an amazingly strong woman that I think every woman secretly would like to be a bit more like. My absolute favorite since I started watching has been Chibs played by Tommy Flanagan. I love the accent and frankly thing he's gotten the inner strength from hell to have lived through this Glasgow grin experience and y'all know how much I love those really tough manly men! I also think Juice, Theo Rossi, is just too damn cute! I also love the tats on the head although they aren't real. I'm also understanding why so many women are on the Charlie Hunnam bandwagon. I didn't know that Drea De Mateo was on season 1 and I've loved her since she was Joey's sister on Joey (the very short lived Friends spin off)

One of the things I've thought about is why I like this show so much. Its not like I'm into Harleys (kind of always thought they were couches on wheels and liked crotch rockets because I loved the speed adrenalin aspect). I do like that all of the main male characters are without a doubt manly men- no whimps there! Also the idea of the MC seeking out there brand of justice is always intriguing. One of my favorite trash book series is the Fern Michaels Sisterhood series for the same reason. They are out to get their own justice at any cost and I can relate to that. Also since I'm still a Sid Vicious fan the Sid reference in season 1 worked for me too! So you have hot guys with tats including one with a killer Scottish accent and some kick ass music and a great premise and you have a good show.

Well this is by far the most I've typed since my surgery & my elbow is letting me know so I'm outta here for now!