Cubs Win! Cubs Win!

Ok...so it isn't a really big deal except for the fact that they SWEPT the Dodgers! WOOHOO!!! This makes me very happy for oh so many reasons. Some ok and rational reasons and others slightly more immature but fun nonetheless! First of all you must realize that my dad is quite possibly the worlds biggest Cubs fan. Growing up in my house you watched the Cubs for baseball, the Bears (or Da Bears!) for football and the Bulls for basketball. Why? Well when both of your parents are Chicagoans its just the way it goes! I remember Princess Bear being a little one (around a year) and my dad propping her on his knee and him explaining the game play by play to her. It really isn't a choice in this house! Now I will admit on here (although never to my father) that I rarely watch a Cubs game through and through anymore. I just can't do it for some reason. I flip back and forth and tune in when things are particularly good or bad (because that's what we do as Cubs Fans!). In all honestly my game to watch is football...more action...maybe its the ADHD in me (just kidding!). Now if you take me to Wrigley its a whole different story. I LOVE watching a live game. Honestly there is nothing like hearing the crack of the bat! There is also something completely magical about Wrigley Field. Please don't scoff. Its true. Now to feel this maybe you need to be a Chicago (city) fan at heart as a well as a Cubs fan but there is no other Stadium like it. The Ivy covered walls....the aforementioned crack of the bat. I do love going to a game. Princess Bear as part of her wardrobe always has at least one Cubs shirt (in the pink and white girls motif) and then a couple of traditional Bears items (the cheerleading outfit is a must!) Here are a few pics from the football season 2 years ago.










(Sorry...tried to do this as a slide show but there was a problem w/ the HTML)


Now on to why I'm so darn happy about the Cubs sweeping the Dodgers? I hate the Dodgers. Do I have a good reason for this? Nope! Not at all! They are my ex fiancees favorite team...thats it. As I said not rational or mature but fun! There is some (little) bit of satisfaction knowing that he has been home swearing at the TV as my beloved Cubbies sweep their butts! Especially since last nights game was a pull it out of the air how lucky are we kind of win! I hate most things about California and personally want the whole darn state to fall into the ocean (after my cousin gets out first!). This is just one more thing to smile about!

This morning I had Princess Bear singing GO Cubs go! on the way to school (while wearing her pink & white Cubs windbreaker!). It was so cute! I'll have to try to get video of it! Here is the "official" 2008 version


and here is a great video of Wrigley and Chicago.

Man do I love that city! I miss it something fierce! The shopping, the restaurants, the shopping, the art, the tattoo shops, the shopping. There is always something to do there! Did I mention the shopping?

Well, know that you've been taken hostage by my love for Chicago, sports and my dislike of all things California I'll release you to go on your merry little way!

Such a busy little bee!

Well, school is wrapping up for Princess Bear (PB) in just a few days (tomorrow is the last full day and then she has 1 hour on Friday). I met with PB's occupational therapist this morning to go over PB's summer home program. Her OT is the most amazing woman ever and has been such a help to PB in the last 2 years. She is such a wealth of information. Marty (the OT) knows my plan is to homeschool PB this summer so instead of just a sheet of suggestions I came home with a packet and some materials to use over the summer! I've also been getting files ready. I have worksheets coming out my ears and I'm not done yet.

We've also had some problems with PB's sensory "issues" lately. Especially in public (big surprise if you know anything about sensory integration disorder). Marty is going to do a full sensory profile on PB next fall but gave me lots of ideas on how to work through things until then.

Other than that I'm still working on the house. I cleaned up about 1/2 my area of the basement yesterday. UGH! So much "stuff"! I have a few boxes of fabric & two sewing machines. My sister and I are planning on taking some classes this summer as neither one of us knows the first thing about sewing! I just want to learn so I can make PB some incredible outfits (think ebay without spending a fortune!). I also started reading the Hollow last night. It is the 2nd in a Nora Roberts trilogy. Nora Roberts is most definitely in my top 5 of favorite "trash" authors to read. I'm beginning to realize how much I need to work on patience. The 3rd book in the trilogy doesn't come out until December. UGH! I want it now!!!! I really should wait until the books are all on the shelves instead of torturing myself!

Oh...I don't know if I've mentioned my daughters favorite activity...she renames things from her favorite show (which is Caillou). I thought it was just for our cat whose name is Fluffy (Yes unoriginal but it works!). Since Caillou came full blast into our lives my poor cat has been going through an identity crisis because PB insists on calling him Gilbert (the name of Caillou's cat). Well, she has a favorite teacher at school and I just thought his name is Mr. Hinkle (He isn't one of her teachers but he does visit the classroom). As we were watching Caillou yesterday I realized with a start that there is a Mr. Hinkle in there. Yep....PB strikes again! The teachers name is really Mr. Anton but PB has renamed him! Such a precocious little girl! Needless to say she keeps me on my toes!

Ahh.....summertime!

Ok...so this weekend is the "unofficial" start of summer. Now my question is when exactly was that thought last fun for you?!!!? In all honesty summer is just one more of those things that loses its allure as we age. So darn unfair!

Frankly, I'm a week out from my daughter getting out of school for the summer and I'm already in panic mode. Having a child has definitely made me a fan of year round school! I think I would enjoy my time with her so much more a few weeks at a time rather than a three month chunk! Please don't doubt that I love my child but my child is a posterchild for ADHD. She has energy that I can't even begin to fathom let alone figure out how to productively reign in for three months so she has fun and uses that little brain of hers for good! I mean one can just get tired watching the child! I remember a few years ago we were trying to figure out why Princess Bear (PB) kept on getting a bluish tint about her lip. She was 2 or 3 at the time and frankly cyanosis wasn't a happy thought. We had a pulse ox monitor at home and would hook her up when the bluish-ness appeared. For the most part her numbers were in range. The pediatrician then started talking heart or lung disease but I digress...not the story I was going with here. One night we did hook PB up to the Pulse ox and the numbers weren't in range...actually almost scarily out of range so off we go to the local ER. Now even in spite of what apparently is going on PB hasn't even thought of slowing down. We're in the ER and she is striped down to her Stride Rite tennies and a diaper. Is the child wanting to be held or resting? Heavens no! She is wondering around the room. Up and down off of the gurney. Then deciding that a short walk is in order (You know you've spent too much time in the ER when the staff knows you!) No one was phased by PB out for a little jaunt! The resident came in to ask some questions and watched PB for awhile. She then looks at me and says "She's just fascinating to watch". Ok....now if that isn't the most PC way of saying "Dang your kid is really off the hook" I don't know what is!

Now can you understand why the next 3 months are striking a bit of fear in my heart? Oh well, I'm strong and I will survive!

On to other fun things...this past weekend has been a case study in no matter how hard I try I will just never quite measure up or make my family happy. I was given a command performance to babysit my nephew for this past Friday night. I really don't mind since I adore the little guy but being asked is a nice approach. Anyway, PB and I arrive and get the down low from my sister. Now let me say that Tyler is my sisters first child, my sister is a definite type A personality and is raising him by the book. She and my bil go to obscene lengths to follow his schedule. I did mention that since he was going to be asleep when the left he might not do well should he awaken. After 4 trips from the basement to the top floor I finally said enough with this noise....this kid isn't going back to sleep and brought him down the the basement. He was a seriously unhappy kiddo. He was tired and mommy and daddy weren't there. Didn't matter that the beloved Aunt Sarah was (& I really am the beloved Aunt Sarah!). He cried and screamed for 45 minutes (he has a bad case of separation anxiety that has been getting worse). Somehow without losing my ever loving mind I got him through the crying jag and no one including myself and PB were any worse for the wear. I then put him in his bumbo chair and let him watch some Kipper with PB (Friday night was PB introduction to TV on Demand and PBS Sprout...to say she's in love is an understatement!). At one point during the screaming I considered calling my sister but decided to let her enjoy her dinner. I guess as a single mom who has absolutely NO life (I can count on one hand how many movies I've seen in the theater and how many nights I've had out with friends since having my daughter and still have a few fingers left!) that I can have a lot of empathy for a mom wanting to enjoy a dinner out. I decided that there was no point in calling my sister just so the precious schedule could be followed. I thought it was a better thing for her to enjoy a dinner out. Honestly its not like a schedule can be ruined in one night anyway. Well my sister came home and saw Tyler awake and just lost it. I explained that I did the best I could to get him back to sleep but it wasn't happening and that I decided to let her enjoy her dinner anyway. Instead of a thanks I really appreciate the opportunity to get out I got a guilt trip on how the rest of their evening was ruined and she obviously could never go to dinner again. AAAUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Can someone just shoot me know?!!? I tried talking to her a little later as well as yesterday afternoon only to get the cold response of "I don't want to talk about it" Ok...did I really do anything that wrong?!!?

Then we were supposed to go there for a cookout yesterday but since PB was running a fever of 98.9 we were asked to stay home. I wasn't this crazy as a first time parent but my mom keeps on saying it was because there were other agendas involved. Perhaps but who knows!

PB and I had a low key day today. We made a double batch of Bath bubble jello jelly and did some serious one on one time. Candyland Bingo abounds! My child hasn't quite gotten the whole good sport thing. After mommy won a couple of rounds she decided to play by herself. The child cracks me up to be sure!

Anyhoo~ I'm gearing up as summer is now upon us. I'm trying to get back into using my control journal and becoming more organized. I was also looking through my copy of Saving Dinner and deciding if I could try that at home. PB has made a lot of progress since her days of only eating hot dogs, mac n cheese and yogurt but I don't want to push it! I tried creamed tuna over toast tonight. You should have seen the look on her face. The first dozen or so bites went down fine and then it was just like "Mommy please! No more!" Never a dull moment to be sure!

Princess Bear's Tiger Prize

Ok...this is going to be very quick....basically just a picture share! I'll try to post more soon! Remember when I wrote about Princess Bear (PB) going to the dentist last week? When we were leaving they asked me to sign PB up for the Tiger Drawing (A mommy & 2 cubs). Not thinking too much of it I signed her up and we went on our merry little way. Well we got a call a few days ago that Princess Bear indeed won the Tiger Family so we went to pick them up today. The staff gave her an adoption certificate and took her pictures...it was so cute! Of course PB had to take the Tigers to share with her friends at school. The Mommy tigers is HUGE and it was pouring today (as in streets flooding!). Here are a few pics of PB and Tabby, Tigger and Toby.









This is PB in her car seat holding the tigers (Yes there really is a child in this picture!!!


Well, I'm going to attempt to get PB to take a nap because we have to babysit my nephew tonight.

PB IEP update

Ok...I must apologize for the lack of writing. I'm a pretty late night person and was doing most of my blogging then when Princess Bear (PB) was asleep. It worked out well all the way around. Now my mom is on a kick that I have to be in my room at X time so that has effectively ended my nighttime blogging for the most part. I'll try to do it during the day or if I can miraculously get PB down for a nap then naptime! Anyhoo~ on for the updates.

I know I mentioned PB upcoming IEP meeting. (For those of you who don't know an IEP is Individualized Education Plan). Basically we have an IEP meeting at the end of the school year to review PB's performance and come up with a game plan for the upcoming school year. PB is finishing her last of two years in a special education preschool room. To say that we have been incredibly blessed to have an incredible teacher and wonderful aides working with PB is truly an understatement! She has grown and blossomed so much in two years it is truly mind blowing. When she started school she was basically non-verbal and today has a vocabulary pushing 300 words! Not to say that we're at home plate yet but I've seen what my child is capable of and I'm so hopeful for the future! My dream for PB was to have her in an integrated classroom as soon as possible. When PB returned to school this fall she had made so much progress over the summer that her teacher and Speech and Occupational therapist were already talking about an integrated kindergarten situation! I was so excited! Then as we drew closer and closer to the IEP meeting I began getting more and more nervous. PB is almost like a third aid in her classroom. She really loves and thrives being a helper for the class (many of the children have physical disabilities and are in different adaptive equipment so she loves to help her peers). The class room she is in has a max of 10 students. The small environment was incredible for her! PB needs help keeping on task and concentrating and that is so much easier in a small group. She also doesn't feel like she is "in trouble" when redirected. The teachers can work at a slower pace which is nice. Well, in an integrated room there would be 18 students and 3 adults. I started worrying about PB not being able to be the big helper...something she really loves and is a great incentive for her. Also that she tends to be a bit of a clown and I thought if she felt lost in the crowd that she might act out more to get some attention. I talked to her teacher and occupation therapist about this in March and they both felt very strongly that PB be given the opportunity to be in an integrated room. I know that I'm a nervous Nelly but this is my only kiddo and as time goes on it becomes apparent that the situation won't change anytime soon if at all. So on Monday my mom and I are at the IEP and I'm still beyond nervous. Then we're all gathered and the kindergarten teacher hadn't even been told about the meeting....oops! She gets in there and PB's current teacher and therapist start reviewing this year. All in all pretty darn good. The main thing is to work on getting PB to concentrate! She's made huge progress in all areas so I'm the proud mommy. Then everyone starts setting goals for the next year. First one out of the gate...to be able to count from 1-20. Ok...that would be great except for the fact that one of the goals for this year was to have PB count from 1-10 and that goal still hasn't been accomplished. For some odd reason PB wants to leave out 4, 5,6 every time! In my mind we should get that done before adding more numbers to the mix! I just don't want to think we're setting her up to fail. The teachers explain that if she only gets to 12 that's great and if she gets to 20 is even better so I agree (reluctantly) to the goal. I don't get too involved with the OT & PT goals. I completely and totally trust her OT and consider her the one of the biggest blessings and cheerleaders we've had since PB started school. PT I don't like much but think she knows her stuff so I'm not worried there. Then we get to the Speech Therapist. PB is also still receiving speech at Easter Seals once a week because her delay is so prevalent. Miss Deb (from Easter Seals) who adores PB more than life itself is very adamant that PB must get oral stimulation at school. The school Speech therapist sees no reason for it and won't include it in the IEP. NOT HAPPY! Thankfully she is pregnant and not going to be back in the fall! Yes, doing the happy dance! Then we get to PE. PB loves going to PE. She is a very active kiddo and desperately needs that time to burn off extra energy. Now one of PB's biggest issues is that she cannot regulate her body temperature at all. When it is hot out or she exerts herself too much she can overheat very easily. That can lead to seizures. She's been in adaptive PE for the past 2 years and that is held in the Air conditioned part of the building and she is very closely monitored. For next year she can't receive Adaptive PE (I was told that would be no problem) so I'm really ready to launch at this point. (We'd already been promised AC in her room). Everyone in the room is trying to come up with some workable solution. I refuse to let them cancel PE altogether....she needs to move! The "regular" PE teacher is also evidently a really hard a-s and wouldn't let PB out of PE even if she was overheating unless it is a) written in the IEP and b) has a detailed note from her Dr. (no problem there!) The solution we finally come up with is that for PE there must be a one on one assistant working with PB. I'm not totally comfortable with this but it seems to be the only option for right now. Keep your fingers crossed!

PB has met her teacher for next year a few times and was allowed to visit for an hour today. I'm going to observe a bit next week. My baby is growing up too fast!!!!

Well its getting to be time to get PB ready for bed so I'm off for now!!!

Oh! I'm seeking some good, easy and economical dinner solutions so if you have any please feel free to drop a line!!! Thanks!

Man...I am not a day person!

Well to say that it hit the fan here over the weekend would be putting things mildly!!! My parents went on a kick about our bedrooms and decimated Princess Bears (PB) room. As in 7 garbage bags donated to the Women's Pregnancy Center and 3 bags of garbage (I'm talking the big green lawn bags too!). Kiernan is still refusing to let my mom in her room! Kind of funny if you think about it!!! On the plus side of things its really nice to be able to clean PB's room is 0.5 seconds. The downside is that we were forced to give away some things that we really didn't want to and my mom totally flips if anything is out of place. Kind of difficult when you have a very active 4 year old running amouk! I'm making progress in the basement and my room.

Other than that things are very low key here. I'm seriously bummed that Jason Taylor didn't win DWTS and now the Miami Dolphins are giving him a very hard time. Not cool.

The happy news for the day is that PB is a very happy camper. When she went to the dentist last week we registered her for a mom and 2 baby stuffed tiger collection. The office called this morning to say that Kiernan won. They want to take her pictures with the tigers and post them in the office. I'm taking her on friday since its playday outside at school and she can't attend. I'll try to post a picture. We also had her IEP...more on that later!

Hiya!

Hey there! Sorry its been a crazy week and quite frankly I'm in a bit of a funk and not too motivated so I haven't felt like writing. I've been doing a lot of cleaning, spending lots of time with Princess Bear (PB) and generally just muddling through.

PB is truly trying to see how quickly she can turn me gray!!! Now I must preface this story with the fact that swearing has always been "accepted" in my household. My sister and I could swear like sailors thanks to our mom by the time we started grade school. We were also warned that if we used those words around other kids their moms wouldn't let us come play with them. Ok no biggie. Well, I've tried to not expose PB to much swearing but I occassionally slip up and then there is my parents...they try but it just doesn't happen. Anyway, PB and I were on the way through the garage to the car this morning so I could take her to school. PB stumbled on the same step that I took my bad fall on a few months ago. Without thinking PB lets out a "Damn It!" and keeps on going and a second later that is followed up by "Crap!". Now I can see the humor in this especially having seen my darling daughter actually perform this darling little "skit" of life. Then there is the side of me that is panicking because at four she understandly has no filter and will eventually let one of these loose in school. Just shoot me now please!

Other notables...ok either the wishes to the g-ds at CBS or the alternative voodoo dolls worked....the Unit has been renewed for the fall!!!!!!!! WOOHOO! More Max Martini please!!! Now I'm slightly bummed b/c its on Sunday nights but short of football season I can adapt. Most definitely doing the happy dance. I love the show as a whole and I really love me some Max Martini!!! :) Now as I just mentioned Sunday night football for those who don't know it I'm a HUGE NFL fan. I'm a die hard Chicago Bears fan and please don't ever try to contact me on a Sunday. Its Church, breakfast with the family and we go right into the Fox pregame show (I also love Howie Long). Anyway, after the Bears had such an incredible season a couple of years ago things have been a very rapid descent into disappointment. I thought that the draft might hold some good options for us but I'm truly beginning to think that Lovie Smith has taken leave of all of his good senses. Top that to the fact that Urlacher is holding out for more money and we're over 3 months away from preseason and things are already looking bad....my daughter might learn some new swear words!

I'm gearing up for PB's birthday party. We're doing a Strawberry Shortcake theme. One of the yahoo groups I'm in has a person that loves doing graphics and she did some invitations, tic tac toe boards, party hats and sucker cards for me. SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! Now the real planning has to start. Now I have a BS in Recreation, Park and Tourism Admin and worked as a Special Events coordinator for several years. Since I don't get to do that anymore I tend to go all out for PB birthday and Christmas. Now I need to figure out some SSC themed games and food.

PB also had her first dentist visit yesterday. She handled it like a champ! I was so proud of her! She was so excited about it...she was grinning as I walked her into school this morning saying "I'm going to show the kids my teeth!" The kid really is cute (now if I could just forget our trip to Target this evening it'd be a wonderful day!)

Well that would be the update here. I'm still worried about PB's IEP meeting on Monday. I'm so not ready for my baby to start kindergarten. My dad is also going to attempt to go to my therapist appointment this week. I'm trying not to expect too much but I figure its a step in the right directions!

Well I'm off... more cleaning, more reading...maybe sleep?

P.S. Want a nice quick inspirational read? Check out "A Dozen Ways to Sunday" by Montel Williams! I love that man & am so bummed that his show is done :(

We now return to our regularly scheduled program

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Mothers Day!!!

Things around here are the usual. I sent Princess Bear (PB) to school for a 1/2 day on Friday. It did both of a lot of good to have a break from one another. She was also very excited to see her friends. As I was dropping her off her friend Bella was getting dropped off at the same time. PB gets out of the car and races to Bella in her wheelchair and they start hugging. So cute!!!

As for me I spent a lot of time working on my mom's mothers day gift. As it turns out I wound up only getting 3 hours of sleep on Friday night and Saturday night. I was trying so hard to get it done.....to no avail! I did show her what I had. Didn't matter she didn't even look at it. There are times I ask myself why I try.

I feel like I've just been a baking and cooking fool lately! On Saturday night I made meatloaf muffins for dinner. I love meatloaf but have never made it before. That has always been my mom's and my grandmother's territory. PB loves hamburgers but gets a bit weird about other beef products (we eat hamburger helper sans beef!). Anyway, the meatloaf muffins went over really well. Color me surprised! PB looked at me and was like "Thank you so much for making these for me mommy!" How stinkin' cute is that?!!? Most definitely made my day! Then around 11pm I started putting things together for Mother's Day breakfast (I had breakfast, my sister was doing lunch and my mom was picking where to order in from for dinner). On the breakfast menu was egg & bacon crockpot casserole, toffee delight muffins and potato casserole. All in all things turned out really well. We're going to be eating egg & bacon casserole all week though! The potato casserole was so easy (hash brown patties, cream, salt & garlic and then cheese the last 10 min). The muffins although the worried me were great. PB was sneaking them every chance she could get. My mom was pretty miserable all day and did her best to involve everyone. We did have a great time at Gymboree getting PB some clothes. I love that place! I so want some of the 4th of July stuff for this year! When I win the lotto I guess! I am friends with one of the salesgirls and she is having a garage sale of sorts...she is just calling some of her favorite customers so I'm way looking forward to that!!!

I've also started to prepare for PB's birthday. We're doing a Strawberry Shortcake theme....anyone have any ideas?!!? One of the women in my printables group is going to do some custom invitations for me and some other favor printables. I'm so excited!

My daughter seems to be doing a little better behavior wise with anyone but me. She is really working my last nerve. I'm getting so nervous about school being out for her soon. Since we only had a few snow days this year she gets out the 30th. We also have her IEP meeting next Monday. I'm so nervous. I'm also still ragin mad about the shortened school day next year. How long does everyone else's kiddo have school? Could you ask around to your friends as well and drop me a line? Thanks!

Oh~ I made a batch of homemade "febreeze" last week...LOVE IT! It is a lot less expessive and the smell seems to last much longer! My lavender water is still "cooking". Can anyone tell me why a mixture of dried lavender blooms and vodka is called lavender water?!!? I also used my peppermint Dr. Bronners for the first time yesterday....HELLO peppermint! I'm so in love!!! What a wonderful smell and mood booster! I'm throwing away the sorry excuse I bought on sale after Christmas from Bath & Body Works :(

I was able to meet with my med term teacher. Got a high B on my final and I aced the class. I'm so excited! Now to save enough money for next semester and figure out what classes to take!

Anyhoo~ that is the update on this end! Drop a line! Send some recipes! Tell me how long your kid (or any kid you know) goes to school! Always looking for all natural recipes and homeschooling hints too!

Ever had one of those "What exactly am I doing moments"? Feel free to join in!

Ok so my hair is something I alternatively love and hate depending on my mood. I have relatively short (inverted bob w/ the longest part being chin length) hair. Its a auburn brown color. That one I didn't even know until I quit highlighting it a few years ago. My hair gotta mega red highlights somewhere along the line. Anyway, I digress I've got this flaky scalp thing going on (TMI?) which I've been trying everything under the sun to fix. The only thing that seems to work was an all natural custom made shampoo. It was awesome and now I want to dabble in making my own. I went to the natural food store and got some herbs last week. Unfortunately this oh so wonderful city I live in was lacking some of the supplies I need. I've been using Dr. Bronners and a tea tree shampoo bar to wash my hair. Still flaky....ICK!!!!! So I started researching natural remedies. Lots of them out there. One of the things I kept on noticing repeatedly was olive oil and honey. Sure why not? So at 12:20am I'm in my kitchen mixing this concoction. As I'm city here typing this I've got olive oil and honey wrapped on to my scalp and hair, wrapped in saran wrap and covered with a towel (that I warmed in the oven...a hazard perhaps?!!?). I'm sure I'm quite the sight! Don't ask me if it worked because I don't know yet! Turn in tomorrow!

Another day another Dr's visit

Well, we're now at more than a week since Princess Bear (PB) got sick. The coughing has gotten absolutely horrid so I called to make an appointment for today. We couldn't get into her pediatrician but a nurse practitioner instead. The good news is that PB's ear infection is completely cleared up! Then such as the life with PB you take one step forward and 3 steps back. She officially has been diagnosed with allergic constrictive airways. Now since I'm severely asthmatic & the idiots other kids have asthma this shouldn't be a surprise. Just one of those "Dang I was really hoping we didn't have to deal with this". Oh well, can't win them all right? I also found out that the possible reason PB has been such a devil child is a reaction to the albuterol. Know I feel like the worlds worst mommy since I was being all you have a time out and it wasn't really her fault. They've switched to a different neubulizer treatment and daily pulmicort so hopefully PB will stop sounding like she wants to be a living lung donor (without the use of anesthesia or a hospital) Is it awful that I'm totally ready for my child to go back to school? I really want (actually its probably crossed to a need at this point) some downtime. I love PB with all my heart but I also know that she's a bit more spoiled and a way lot less disciplined that she should be. I also know that this is all my doing. Unfortunately its that guilt complex of having a special needs child. Unfortunately its biting us in the butt and I'm working my tail off to have things turn around. That said I also do my very best to get all errands done while PB is in school. Its just so much easier and saves the bit of sanity that I have left. I still need to buy things to complete Mothers Day projects and I need some Mothers Day cards. I feel a midnight trip to Wally World coming on...anyone want to join me?

Other than that things were low key today. I got the notification of the rescheduled IEP meeting for PB. Its set for the 19th. I'm having a hard enough time with my baby turning 5 soon. Then add the whole kindergarten factor to it and I'm ready to lock the kid in the closet and tell her to stop growing up. PB started special ed when she was 3 so she's been in school for two years now. The first year was just 1/2 days but this year was all day. The idea of kindergarten shouldn't be so daunting but it is! Then you can add the fact that PB has been slated for a nontraditional segregated classroom. Basically its a kindergarten room with two teachers; one "normal" teacher and one "special ed" teacher. The feeling is that she's made so much progress that this is the best move for her. I'm worried that she's going to get lost in all the confusion. I won't say for a moment that PB has made a huge amount of progress. At times its almost miraculous if I sit back and think about it. This child was basically non-verbal when she started in August 2006 (she had approximately a dozen words under her belt). At her last Easter Seals eval she had a vocab of over 250 words. The kid sings now, plays with dolls and has a huge amount of compassion and empathy for her friends. Its so neat to watch her grow. I just hope that this new classroom is the best for her.

Now I'm going to sign off and start working on my Mothers Day gift for my mom. While watching my tape of Criminal Minds of course. My mom and I didn't have the almost weekly debate of how Criminal Minds is such an irresponsible show because they show things in too much detail and give people ideas. UGH! If you're that sick you probably aren't at home checking CBS for ideas! Just my take!

A Chance to help an awesome Little Boy

This is a petition for Jake Grys' family to win a home makeover from Extreme Home Makeovers. Please please please forward this to everyone you can (after you've signed the petition yourself of course!) I don't personally know Jake but I have seen him many times when I was at Easter Seals with Princess Bear (they were both part of the fund raising campaign video last year!)and he is always in such a wonderful mood and had an infectious smile. This is an awesome opportunity to help his family out. Again the link to go to is:

http://www.gopetition.com/online/11829

Happy Tuesday!

OK...just some random ramblings again! Its been awhile since I've posted. Princess Bear (PB) is still sick so that's no fun. I tried sending her to school yesterday because she was acting like herself. She still had the cough but acted fine. I had my final so I figured routine works better for her anyway. The nurse couldn't get ahold of me (go figure...I was in the library studying!) and she called 4 times in an hour! I pick her up and the child is fine! NO COUGHING! As in none whatsoever! In 3 1/2 hours she had one coughing fit lasting less than a minute. I keep her home today and there was coughing but I think its her asthma triggering it. I am taking her back to the Dr for a recheck just to make sure!

I had my final last night. I'm so thankful I studied my butt off. We'd had 11 previous tests in the class. This was harder than them combined! As I've mentioned numerous times I only needed 40 points to get an A in the class. I'm actually worried. I'm going to call the teacher tomorrow and ask for an update. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Now for my ramblings on TV. I'm an addict...I admit it! Since I'm also a huge book worm I figure it balances out. Now tonight is Tuesday. Previously my all time favorite TV night. NCIS and the Unit. Cane wasn't too bad either and then Miami Ink. I'm seriously as in SERIOUSLY pissed at cbs. I can't even get reruns of the unit right now and no word as to whether or not its coming back. Ok...enough of my not getting the Unit rant. Then there is Dancing with the Stars. I can't believe that Jason Taylor was in the bottom 2! WTF is that all about?!!!? I would have been most unhappy if he was eliminated tonight. I just think he's the most adorable thing ever! He seems like such a nice guy and total family guy too...gotta love that! I just hate when nice guys finish last! Ok enough TV rant


I'm getting ready to wrap up this semester and start planning for the summer. I've got to get the house clean and keep it up so things are happy and PB and I can live here. I also need to get ready to homeschool PB this summer. I've never done this before so I'm really at a loss here. I just want to have some sort of schedule for her and keep that little brain motivated, kwim? Now my thing is that homeschooling seems like it can be expensive. Not good for a single mom of a special needs child. Money is not our friend right now! So I'm trying to find some fun education things to do with this kid. I'm so darn nervous about her starting kindergarten it isn't even funny. I also found out that the school day is being shortened. They only had 6.5 hours before now it will be shortened by 45 minutes. Is that really all our kids are worth? I'm so angry. How much learning really happens but the time you have lunch and restroom breaks and general transitions. So now there will be harried teachers, less easy productive transitions and general chaos trying to get things done.

Ok, that is my random rants for the night! If anyone has any homeschool resources for prek/ kindergarten that are free or very inexpensive please feel free to let me know! If you have a relative at cbs please let them know to bring back the Unit! Ok..I'm getting slap happy. Time for a shower and sleep! The beauty of lavendar oatmeal soap is beckoning!

Random & Rather un-PC Ramblings

Ok let me just say that I hate, hate, HATE animal racing of any nature! Yes this is in response to today's Kentucky Derby. Now please don't get me wrong. I think watching a horse run is a magnificent sight. They are designed to run. Unfortunately its they aren't meant to have a little man on their back and run around a big oval. Its so sad that Eight Belles had to be put down. Now I completely understand that horses need to be put down on a regular basis so please don't feel the need to comment on my naivete. I also understand that racing and breeding has taken horses that in all actuality have legs that are an anatomical marvel as is and made them even smaller and longer in hopes of a better runner. Its not just horse racing I'm against. I had dog racing as well. When I worked for MWR I had to take a group on a trip to WI for the dog races. I went back on Monday and told my boss never again. I guess all of it comes from me being a huge animal lover at heart (in my single premommy days my parents always knew that if I were to pass away they were donating my life insurance money to animal causes). It makes me absolutely crazy that people can hurt animals and little kids. I truly believe that there is a special place in hell for people who do such things. Ok enough of that one. What else should I ramble about?

Did you ever know if you try to remember the five different types of Weapons of Mass destruction the first letter of each type spells out BNICE. Kind of ironic huh? Then again the fact that I'm studying WMD in Medical Terminology is such a sad commentary on the state of our world. Here we go...some more personal beliefs. If any country willingly (that being the key word there) harbors terrorist I believe that they have given up the right to ask why when they are attacked. HELLO! You are harboring terrorist...good enough reason for me. Can I get a second?!!? This would go for Lebanon & Palestine. It makes me so crazy that these countries have people who will stand up saying but X amount of innocent civilians have been killed. Ok, how about this...you kick out all of the damn terrorists and no more innocents will be killed. Seems fair. Now I'm not for the killing of innocent lives its awful but one the general mindset condones terrorism is anyone really an innocent? It reminds me an interview that DL Hughley had with Jay Leno shortly after 9/11. They were talking about increased airport security. DL's comment was "Sometimes its not racial profiling; somethings its just damn fine Police work!" LOVE IT! Honestly I want to see that clip again right before I die so I can go out laughing. Its even better because its a black man saying this.

Ok, if you've lasting with me this long as you can tell I'm just in one of those moods. I'm still beyond tired but hanging in there. My mom did lay off the week rule. She is even letting me pick a date of when everything will be done. A bit scary since I'm such a damn slacker. Then again it will be very nice to get my act together and have the rooms clean. I have to start planning Princess Bears (PB) summer curriculum and birthday party. I still think I'm a bit nuts for wanting to homeschool her for the summer. Hello...what was I thinking?!!? On the other hand I'm really excited about the birthday except for the rude awakening that my baby is going to be 5! We're doing a Strawberry Shortcake theme. Now if I could just come up with some good ideas! Well that is the situation here. I'm going to study a bit more, read and then SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please just shoot me now!

Ok...just want to give you fair warning I'm flat out having a pity party. You can quit reading now if you want. I'm just tired, at the end of my rope and dealing with a toxic parent I live with. Its one of those days that I just want to shout from the rooftop "I'M DONE!!!" and drive off into the sunset. Ok...not really since the end goal would preferably be some island that is warm and there are cool, fruity, tropical drinks waiting for me.

This all started because I'm going balls to the wall studying for my Med Term final which is this Monday. Its silly of me because I only need to get 40 points to get an A in the class. I just desperately want an A. It would bring my GPA up and just the satisfaction of it would be nice! Anyhoo, I was a tired camper to begin with and then Princess Bear (PB) started getting sick. I really just thought it was her allergies going into overdrive. The allergy index has been high and the temps have been all over the place. Well, we went from allergy overload to holy cow sick. I took her to the Dr. yesterday thinking that we'd get a script for something to take care of the sinus infection and be on our merry little way. The best laid plans, right? Well it turns out PB has an ear infection, an upper respiratory infection and a sinus infection. To say that she isn't a happy kiddo is putting it mildly. Sleeping is so tough for her because she is so congested. PB being sick isn't that unusual or that stressful though. (For anyone who doesn't know it PB is a special needs child who has a very very low resistance to most illnesses).

Then we have my mom. Let me say that I love my mom. That said I love both of my parents and I do appreciate them letting us live here. I know it isn't easy for them and I know they didn't plan on this. I also know that PB & I would be living at the Salvation Army if we weren't here. I'm just trying to get through school so I can eke out some living so PB and I can be ok on our own. Now the problem is that there are some boundary issues with my parents as well as the good old you live in our house you follow our rules. Now on somethings I can totally understand this. Then there are the personal invasions. My mom also is very verbally abusive. Its the way she is and it certainly isn't going to change at this point in the ball game. I cope the best I can. I am rather forthcoming about my shortcomings and am doing what I can to get my act together. I mean I read the books, I see a therapist (who btw is awesome and really helping me work on many aspects of my life) and have gotten myself on some anti anxiety and antidepression meds and feel pretty good for the most part. I know that this is all a slow process but the biggest part is being honest with myself and moving forward. I guess I should mention that clinical depression has been an issue in my life since I was 13 and there is a huge family history of it (my mom included). I can also admit that I am a slob. I have big issues with clutter and I hate cleaning. What that means is that PB's and my room are in a constant state of chaos. I can understand that it can be somewhat distressing to my parents but to honestly want to throw us out over it seems a bit extreme. They keep on saying its their house and I try to pick things up but honestly I don't even know if totally gutting our rooms and keeping them perfect would fix this. Anyhoo~ my mom laid down the decree of you have one week or you're out. Now I mentioned to my mom that I'm getting ready to go into finals. Can I show them a big improvement and then finish the week after I'm done with finals. Nope she doesn't want to have her Mothers Day ruined. I should also mention that a huge part of the problem with my room is that I have enough stuff to fill 3 rooms. I have things for the bows and bracelets in there as well as just general things. The problem of being on my own and then back here is that I own "X" amount of stuff. I know that things are just things but I really don't want to get rid of everything I own. I have truly dumped a lot of the stuff I can replace later but its still trying to fit 10 lbs of crud in a 5 lb bag. PB's room fluctuates but its big problem is that my parents have forgotten that its a 4 year olds room! I figure if I can pick it up and have it company ready in 15-20 minutes we're ok. Nope not my parents. I also get that PB's room is in the center of the house and that company can see it. Mine is a corner room and if we have company Fluffy (aka Jabba the Cat) is locked in there. Anyway last night my mom couldn't find something in the medicine cabinet/pantry and come to get me as I was trying to get PB to go to sleep. Of course PB followed me (hello! Its an invitation to get out of bed... of course she's going to follow me) My mom is having an all out fit about the state of the closet and how I have so much crap in there that she can't see anything and to find her medicine. I go to the closet and start looking at the bottles of medicine. The one she was looking for was the 2nd or 3rd bottle I picked up. Now to give credit I will say the bottle was totally different but I'm certainly not any brighter than my mom. Bottles do change. I was a little biotch and told my mom to think outside the box. Not nice but not the end of the world either. Mom was just upset because she had to call the pharmacy back and let them know she found it and she really didn't like the pharmacist working last night. Anyway its a full blown tirade into my shit being all over to which I'm like "no not really" So my mom starts dumping things out of the closet. More than 1/2 of what she thought was mine wasn't but try explaining that! Anyway I have a deadline and I'm convinced to make it. Leaving here might not be the best thing for me or even a good thing but overall its a damn good thing for. I'll send some pics as I progress although I didn't take a beginning pic.

Wish me luck! Off to do more cleaning!