I'm tired darn it!

My mom is back on this kick that I have to get up at 5:30am before she & my dad leave for work. UGH! She forgets a)I'm a night owl and b)I have insomnia! Again, UGH!

So today I got up at 5:30am and folded some laundry and then played on facebook for a bit. I have a very unhealthy obsession with Frontierville going on. Then I took a nap. now I'm almost feeling human.

Yesterday was another day of general chaos because of this new medical issue Princess Bear (PB) has going on. PB & I had to be at my sisters early (ok 9:15 but in the summer that's early for us!) to watch my nephews. That is an interesting adventure under the best of circumstances. I would not saying yesterday was the best of circumstances! lol Everyone was alive & well when I left & the kids had fun so I guess that's the important part right?

While I was at my sisters I called PB's Dr's office since I had some questions after having some time to absorb the Dr's news. I also needed to talk to the Dr since PB's endocrinologist has left the Children's hospital in St. Louis. I asked the nurse what the TgAb number for PB was. 1034 now to give you some perspective the normal range is 0-20. My daughter is at 1034! My mom was like no they had to have read that wrong call back. I called back- check this (honestly its times like this that I think my life is a secretly taped episode of Punk'd). I told the nurse that I needed to get a test result number for my daughter because I was sure I'd written it down wrong or misunderstood it. The nurse actually says "No I'm pretty sure you didn't if its the result I'm thinking of". Ok now you have to understand that the peditrician group that PB goes to is HUGE! There are 10 providers and its one of the biggest practices in town. This nurse remembers me calling back 4 hours later because the test result is SO abnormal- yep thats always a good sign- NOT!!!!!!!! And yes folks I had the number right the first time. This morning I was on the phone with the endocrinology dept at St. Louis Children's hospital as soon as they opened. Their first available appointment is.........

Are you ready for this?



December 19!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yes I always treasure the thought of a 3 hour Midwestern drive (each way) less than a week before Christmas. The scheduler told me that this appointment was open because of a cancellation otherwise we'd have to wait until February. UGH!

Ok since I'm just done at this point I'm going to sign off. I'm going to go look at my garden. I can't really check it because we're obviously in the middle of monsoon season here in Illinois. I never really knew we had a monsoon season here but we're having rain daily and the high today isn't even 70. PB keeps asking when she can go swimming- its looking like next week baby girl! The rain is of course helping the garden but its also flooding the walkways between the aisles so unless I want to be ankle deep in water and muck I just look at my garden from a few feet away!

Trying to remain calm

Ever have one of those moments you just want to sit down and cry or go outside and scream or trade your life in for the one behind door number 2? I'm so there at the moment.

Issue 1
I found out earlier today that my former best friend is pregnant. I never thought she would keep me shut out of her life like this & at this point I don't know if I'm hurt or pissed. I feel a bit like an island.

Issue 2
Princess Bear (PB) has been complaining of being cold a lot. Since this is a child that has issues regulating her body temp regarding heat this seemed a bit weird. My mom finally said that I had to take PB in for a blood test. That was last Thursday. I've been going a bit crazy waiting for the results of the sleep study but didn't think there was much to be concerned about. Well, the Dr. looked at the rash PB got from the adhesive used in the sleep study and said that its an allergy waiting to happen and we need to treat it like an allergy. That means no band aids or anything sticky. This might make future tests & surgeries very interesting. Then he ordered a TON of blood work focusing on her thyroid. That freaked me out a bunch of different ways since we basically just got my sister healthy. At this point thyroids make me a bit nervous. The Dr. called with the test results on Friday and said everything looked great. I thanked him and went on my merry little way. Since then there have been several occasions that PB complained of being cold. I was talking to my mom about it and she thought I needed to call the peditrician to see if we should go back to the endocrinologist in St. Louis & touch base. Ugh- not my idea of a good time but ok. We got home and there were 2 messages. PB's best friend called and the peditrician left a message asking me to return his call that they had the last of the blood work in. My dad & I just looked at each other & shared an "oh shit" look. The Dr. called back and explained that PB is testing positive for thyroid antibodies which means although her thyroid is ok now it will fail at some point in time. He wants me to get an appointment in St. Louis ASAP. I really had hoped with PB's growth issues seeming to level out that we had escaped the threat of having to have PB put on growth hormones. Now that is a front and center reality again. How much more is my poor baby going to have to deal with????

Now I'm off to make her dinner and then I'll try to decide between screaming and crying.

No more birthday parties!

Princess Bear (PB) turned 8 last Saturday. I'd been on a housecleaning binge for a week because we were having her first birthday party at home in 5 years. I sent invitations to the kids in her class (there 8 kids including PB), invited a friend of hers that used to go to her school, my friend Maria's 2 kids and my nephews. Its awfully hard to plan a birthday party when you have absolutely NO idea how many kids are coming! Although the invitations had RSVP only 1 child from class did! There was also talk between PB & her friends that it was going to be a pool party. Um yeah- I don't think so! So I even sent a note to the parents saying that it was not going to be a pool party & it had my number on it- still no RSVP's! The day of the party was somewhat chaotic mostly due to my mom's usual toxicity but that was to be expected right??? I had asked them for very little help prepping the house & managed to pay for almost all of it. My mom paid for the balloons to get inflated and the birthday cake. I covered everything else. It was a horse/cowgirl theme because PB is obsessed with horses- big time! One child showed up 20 minutes early. That wasn't too bad except my mom totally freaked. I had several crafts for the kids to do since the physical abilities of the kids greatly varied. Note to self: NO CRAFTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The mom's wound up doing the crafts! It did get a bit crazy with kids all over and chowing down on cupcakes. About 2 hours in I told my mom that we had to have some way to wrap it it because I was going to go crazy.

I then spent time on Saturday and Sunday finishing planting the plants we had purchased into the garden. We're at 23 tomatoes, 3 watermelon, 2 muskmelon, spaghetti squash, 7 fairytale eggplant, 4 various peppers, 4 broccoli, 2 cabbage and various herbs. I think I need to get some more herbs. PB and I also started pole beans, sunflowers and 2 varieties of pumpkins the other day.

PB also had a sleep study test on Tuesday night. That is a post of its own so check back!

Summertime, Summertime, Sum...sum...summertime!

Yes, folks summer is almost upon us!!! WOOHOO!!! Now for those who know me and know I'm not a fan of the summer in general might be scratching your heads and pondering a bit but why should I ever make sense???? Now my biggest grip with the summer is the heat & humidity that is ever present here in the midwest. It is oppressive! Now there are a lot of things about the summer I really do like- having Princess Bear home (for the most part!), gardening, swimming, sleeping in, gardening and swimming. A few things have happened at home this past week to make things seem a bit better! My dad was finally able to work the dirt enough to till it. I'm hoping to set up a permanent bed/mulch border with floral border thing in the next week. I've also got PB's swimming pool set up! Its filling with water as we speak! Its plenty big at 15' so mommy is going to be floating on a raft reading some magazines! Ugh....I hear strange sounds coming from the kitchen- more to follow! :)

General Musings

Ok- this is going to be a very random post & blurps on lots of little topics- sorry about that!

We've been having some nasty weather here in the midwest lately. Sunday night the horrible tornados ripped through Joplin MO leaving more than 100 dead and we spent part of the evening in the basement. Princess Bear (PB) has a huge tendency to freak out when its time to hit the basement when the tornado sirens go off. I'm the only one in the house that is scared of storms. She'll actually sit on the front porch swing with my parents and watch storms. Those tornado sirens go off though and the kid starts to freak. I've tried explaining to her that going to the basement is just a way to make sure we're safe & nothing calms her down. Ugh! Then yesterday we had a storm come rolling through here unlike anything I've seen since living in AL or NC. It was just sheets of rain that left NO visability. There actually wasn't a lot of lightning or thunder. Just a lot of wind and rain. My parents & PB were on the porch watching things. Next thing I know the power in the house cuts out. Now we have some dumb a$$ squirrels around here that can't figure out transformer boxes aren't their friends and there was a similar boom when a transformer blows. I started getting out candles and checking our flashlights. I called Ameren to let them know the power was out. Then I got my dinner that was 3/4 of the way through heating in the microwave when the power blew and ate. By then my parents & PB came in and PB started to freak. The last time we had any sort of power outage was in the dead of winter and it was damn cold! Luckily we have a fireplace and plenty of wood so it wasn't much of a problem. Unfortunately that is what PB immediately things of when the power goes out. So my mom & dad did some family reading time with her & read a few chapters of the TumTum & Nutmeg book they're currently reading. Then PB tried finding things to play with. Littlest Pet Shops? Little itty bitty pieces everywhere as we're quickly losing daylight? Um, nope don't think so. Ball? nope candles everywhere. So we colored and did magnet board pics for awhile but boredom settled in quickly. I also found out that reading my flashlight makes for odd shadows that can be headache producing if you aren't careful! So I'm going to be hitting some garage sales looking for some camping laterns. Since I want to do some backyard camping with PB that will be handy anyway. I also realize that PB is WAY reliant on electricty as I am. Fortunately give me a book and I can kill time anywhere. I've been reading Laura Ingals Wilder to PB and reminded her that this is how Laura & Mary lived with Ma & Pa every day- it didn't consol her!

Now since I'm a TV junkie here is a quick recap of my thoughts on last weeks season finales!
Castle- WTF????? Ok I LOVE me some Max Martini & really hate seeing him as a bad guy. Beyond that the Captain was the bad guy? So didn't see that coming! Castle telling Kate he loved her after she's been shot? Thats some timing for you! Ugh! Now the show can't go on if she is dead so its a given she isn't so what happens now???
NCIS- No huge surprises here until the very end of the show. Who is slipping secrets???? I don't like that Zeva has gotten back together with Ray but what can you do. I also don't like that they killed Franks off but it was well done. Kort needs to be b%#ch slapped- just my opinion
NCIS LA- ok I didn't catch season 1 of this but still like the show. I loved the part when G, Sam, and Kenzie were turning in theire shields and weapons. Deacs is the last one and says "I would if I could". I love when he flips those out there like that!
Criminal Minds- ok- how many times is Joe Montenga's (?) daughter going to guest star? Other than that I waited the whole freaking episode for JJ to show up. Seems as though they're bringing her back which is awesome! Now they just need to catch Doyle and get Prentiss out of hiding!
The Mentalist- Ok my new favorite TV line is from this just because for a week I've thought about it and laughed each time! Lisbon is trying on her bridesmaid dress and of course its what we all would hate to wear as bridesmaids- pink and strapless! Jane walks in and then is telling her how she looks great and says "You look like a princess- an angry little princess" LOVE IT!

The garden is of course going through another is it or isn't it happening stage. I tried giving my dad information on permanent beds. Even if we can't do raised beds permanent would be good- no go. My mom had all of us outside doing her bidding bright and early Sunday. PB also got something- G-d only knows what dumped all over her that led to a shower and a scrubbed until she looked like a lobster shower. Our neighbor loaned us his tiller so as soon as the ground is workable my dad is doing that. So I raked up the spent pine needles and left over tomato ick from last year. I did not know that Seed Savers has retail seeds so I was at Kelly Seeds yesterday having a grand time. I also bought some heirloom sweet pea seeds but can't find nicotainia seeds or plants anywhere :(

So that is my random thoughts & activities!

Garden?????

In between healing from my surgery, a very, very wet spring and general illness there has been absolutely no planting going on here and I'm so bummed! I have several pots of herbs that are doing well in their grow house but thats it. I did try to convince my dad that raised beds are the best way to go. Back it up with all sorts of data and got shot down. SO I'm going to go for a permanent bed set up and hope that helps. I know tilling every year is bad but are dirt is basically clay. At least with a permanent bed approach the dirt won't get so compacted. I can get some decent crop rotation schedule going on and still use square foot gardening. I really just wish I could get out there & set some of this in motion!

High School Reunion?

When I was in OT for my post op wrist & elbow recovery the COTA that I worked with was someone I graduated with. For the most part I have very little memory of those in my graduating class. I was part of a small group that hung out together and kept in touch for awhile after graduation. I wish there were some that I was still in contact with but not that many. Jill, the COTA, is all gung ho for our 20th reunion. First I have to get over the fact that its been 20 years since I walked out of that hell hole and then deal with the fact that I really don't want to go. Since the implosion of my friendship with Jessi I truly have no desire to go. I didn't make it to the previous reunions and don't quite get why people get so excited about reunions. For the most part I hated my high school experience. I was extremely alternative in a Catholic high school. My head was buzzed except for my bangs. Please think back to the late '80's and it won't seem as weird then- I promise! I was very into the Cure, Depeche Mode and had copies of Sid Vicious' obituary all over my locker.

Also, I started at a school called Bergan. In a town this size it still had 2 high schools when I started and there was a bitter rivalry. You went to the high school that your grandparents, parents & siblings went to. Since both my parents had been raised in Chicago there wasn't a big alliance to either school. My youngest aunt & uncle went to Bergan but it was entirely up to me. I decided to go to Bergan and entered there a total and complete prep. I'll have to see if I can find my freshman year and sophmore year pictures to share- what a complete identity shift! I was comfortable with the change and amazingly my parents although they didn't like it supported me. My sophmore year the two high schools combined but were still housed on 2 campuses. My junior year all those idiots from downtown invaded out building. It did bring some nice changes. The best was seeing my friend Jeremy on a daily basis. It also brought about a new girls dean. She was a royal bitch! My hair style was deemed against the new dress code and I had to grow it out. The dean actually measured my hair once a week to make sure I was growing it out. G-d I hated that place! I had my left ear pierced up top on the cartiledge. The school rules where that you could only wear 1 pair of earrings so I wore 1 in the cartiledge and one lower on my right side. Still only 1 pair of earrings. Pushing it a bit perhaps but still within the rules. My mom was there fighting my detentions on a regular basis! There were also a lot of those I deserved. My friend Monika and I had it timed just right so we could get down to our cars, smoke a quick cigarrette and get to study hall in time for detention. I thought I was so cool- If my daughter acts like this I will beat her ass!

I did walk out of there with some really good friends and memories that I'll always treasure. There are many friendships that haven't held up to the test of time and I really am sad about that. There are friendships that I don't regret losing. There are people I miss a lot & wish I could go back and change. There are friends that have passed away and its always with a heavy sense of sadness that I think about them. I just can't picture myself walking into my 20 year reunion and walk out smiling.

Did you go to your reunions?