Saturday, April 18, 2015

Living with Hashimoto's Sucks!

This past week has just been a bitch mentally.  My Hashimoto’s is kicking my rear and Princess Bear (PB) has been in rare form.  I had an appointment with my endocrinologist this week which is a good thing since I have been feeling so crappy.  The bad thing is that in general he is a very by the numbers kind of Dr.  From many things I’ve read about thyroid issues it seems as though treating straight by the numbers is not always the best idea.  Treating by symptoms seems to make more sense.  My Dr. isn’t big on that school of thought.  I’d had symptoms of Hashi’s for years.  I’m not exaggerating either.  Haven’t talked to my former BFF in over 6 years and she swore something was wrong with my thyroid and had been saying it for several years.  Actually when I went to the Physicians Assistant for something else about a year ago she said that she was going to test my thyroid.   I actually told her not to bother that it had been done many times and my numbers are always in the normal range.  She said that she was going to dig a little deeper.  One of the tests she ran was for thyroid antibodies.  My numbers were off the charts.  As in several thousand times what would be considered normal.  That finally was enough to send me to the Endocrinologist.  I went with the one my sister had seen for her post partum thyroiditis.  As I mentioned he’s a good Dr just very by the numbers.  That was almost 2 years ago.  He started me on Synthroid a T4 hormone.  While it did get the racing heart issue to stop there was very little gain.  I kept on telling him that I am still exhausted like can’t function at times exhausted and still experiencing a lot of joint pain.  Every 3 months I would mention the same thing.  Finally he decided to add a T3 hormone into the mix.  I’ve only been on it for a couple of days.  I’m also not falling asleep and napping at the drop of a hat.  I’m feeling very hopeful!  Living with any autoimmune disease sucks but having life pass you by because you’re too damn tired sucks even more!  So here I am keeping my fingers crossed that this really does work! 

Below is something that is in the archives of a Hashimoto's group I'm part of online.  If you know someone that just generally feels very run down and blood work isn't showing anything encourage them to have a test done to check their thyroid antibodies.  Getting well takes time (as you can see I still have good days and bad but I'm way better than I was before my diagnosis.). 

I am Hashimoto's Disease ~ A letter for patients, family and friends

This got a huge response from TS members, so I decided to make it a "Note" ~
I thought it would be helpful to have it available for patients, but also for family and friends to read to understand the gravity of how this illness can and does, impact the lives of Hashimoto's/hypothyroid patients.
Wellness is possible and IS the goal! It often takes a lot of time, a lot of patience and a good Dr. (who you may have to do some searching for) to guide you.
So please don't feel defeated by this, make it empower you to learn everything you can about this disease, find the right doctor, ASK family and friends for help, and fight for your health! 

Hi.  My name is Hashimoto's.  I'm an invisible autoimmune disease that attacks your thyroid gland causing you to become hypothyroid.
I am now velcroed to you for life.  If you have hypothyroidism, you probably have me. I am the number one cause of it in the U.S. and many other places around the world.
I'm so sneaky--I don't always show up in your blood work.
Others around you can't see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me.
I can attack you anywhere and any way I please.
I can cause severe pain or, if I'm in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.
Remember when you and energy ran around together and had fun?
I took energy from you, and gave you exhaustion. Try to have fun now.
I can take good sleep from you and in its place, give you brain fog and lack of concentration.
I can make you want to sleep 24/7, and I can also cause insomnia.
I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal.
I can also give you swollen hands and feet, swollen face and eyelids, swollen everything.
I can make you feel very anxious with panic attacks or very depressed.  I can also cause other mental health problems. You know crazy mood swings? That's me. Crying for no reason? Angry for no reason? That's probably me too.
I can make your hair fall out, become dry and brittle, cause acne, cause dry skin, the sky is the limit with me.
I can make you gain weight and no matter what you eat or how much you exercise, I can keep that weight on you. I can also make you lose weight. I don't discriminate.
Some of my other autoimmune disease friends often join me, giving you even more to deal with.
If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away from you. You didn't ask for me. I chose you for various reasons:
That virus or viruses you had that you never really recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma (I thrive on stress.) You may have a family history of me. Whatever the cause, I'm here to stay.
I hear you're going to see a doctor to try and get rid of me. That makes me laugh.  Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively.
You will be put on the wrong medication for you, pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants.
There are so many other ways I can make you sick and miserable, the list is endless - that high cholesterol, gall bladder issue, blood pressure issue, blood sugar issue, heart issue among others? That's probably me.
Can't get pregnant, or have had a miscarriage?
That's probably me too.
Shortness of breath or "air hunger?" Yep, probably me.
Liver enzymes elevated? Yep, probably me.
Teeth and gum problems? TMJ?
Hives? Yep, probably me.
I told you the list was endless. 
You may be given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away.
You'll be told to think positively, you'll be poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken seriously when you try to explain to the endless number of doctors you've seen, just how debilitating I am and how ill and exhausted you really feel.  In all probability you will get a referral from these 'understanding'  (clueless) doctors, to see a psychiatrist.
Your family, friends and co-workers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and just how debilitating I can be.
Some of them will say things like "Oh, you are just having a bad day" or "Well, remember, you can't do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago", not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago.
They'll  also say things like,  "if you just get up and move, get outside and do things, you'll feel better." They won't understand that I take away the 'gas' that powers your body and mind to ENABLE you to do those things.
Some will start talking behind your back, they'll call you a hypochondriac, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially if you are in the middle of a conversation with a "normal" person, and can't remember what you were going to say next. You'll be told things like, "Oh, my grandmother had that, and she's fine on her medication" when you desperately want to explain that I don't impose myself upon everyone in the exact same way, and just because that grandmother is fine on the medication SHE'S taking, doesn't mean it will work for you.
They will not understand that having this disease impacts your body from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, and that every cell and every body system and organ requires the proper amount and the right kind of of thyroid hormone medication for YOU.
Not what works for someone else.
The only place you will get the kind of support and understanding in dealing with me is with other people that have me. They are really the only ones who can truly understand.
I am Hashimoto's Disease.

Monday, April 13, 2015

It's just beginning and I'm dreading the next Presidential election!

This is something I posted on Facebook today.

 Is it too much to ask that people vote for someone based on their politics and not what their status is? The last time this country voted on status we managed to take race relations back a good 20 years or more. Voting for Killary because she's a woman makes you an idiot. I don't care if our next President is white, black, brown, blue, purple, pink spotted. Man, woman, transgender or whatever other label there is to slap on them. I'd just like someone that honestly gave a shit about the country and seriously cared about bettering it and our relationship with other countries.

 Honestly wasn't expecting much but it was just my response to Hillary announcing that she was indeed going to run.  No surprise there but seriously?  I know we've had politicians with blood on their hands before.  The Chappaquiddick incident comes to mind instantly.   Hillary's hands aren't quite that bloody but how are people forgetting Benghazi and her response?  If you don't recall you can go HERE at start watching at 1:30 mark.  The difference is that she was instrumental in lying to the American people about what happened at Benghazi.  She was instrumental in them not getting the help they needed.  She was instrumental in this:

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I won't even go into the complete absurdity of her email situation and the lengths that she'll go to so she doesn't have to turn over her documents on Benghazi and be held truly responsible for what she's done. 

I've ranted about it before and I'm sure I'll rant about it again.  Voting for someone based on their status, IE race, religion, sex, sexual orientation (just a few examples), makes the person casting that vote a down right idiot.  Last month Obama actually mentioned the concept of mandatory voting?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????????????  We have a$$hole, low information voters voting for someone because they are black instead of what they stand for and we're supposed to think it's a grand thing?  Let's take it to the other extreme which would be someone testing a voters knowledge on each candidate before allowing them to vote.  How about we try it on for size.  Equally preposterous but at least a move in the right direction!  

We are so very blessed to live in a country that we get to have some say in who the President is.  If you're not sure why we don't have the bottom line decision in the matter take some time to educate yourself in the fact that the US is actually a republic not a democracy and the electoral college is the deciding factor. Winning the popular vote does not guarantee that candidate will be the next President.  It goes with who gets the most votes from the electoral college.  It has happened 4 times in the history of our country.   I digress.  We still live in a country that is governed by our Constitution.  One of the most amazing documents EVER written.  Think about it we're talking about a set of laws essential that is 226 years old!  It's only got 33 Amendments.  You can find some cool facts about our Constitution HERE

 It really pisses me off that people are willing to essentially sell or give away their vote on something as important as who the President of our country will be based about the persons race, sex or anything else so freaking petty!  I remember after Obama was elected Bill Cosby was on the Tonight Show with Leno discussing voting for Obama and how he took a picture of his parents into the ballot booth with him so they could see him voting for a black man.  Really Bill?  You (and so many countless other people) just sold yourself and your vote out.  What happened to voting for a person because they believed in the same thing you did and promoted policies that you felt were important?  When did it become "You're a 

situation so I'm voting for you?  When did it become the richest candidate or the one with the best fundraising was going to come out on top?  One of the worse things the Supreme Court has done to this country was to decide that corporations could financially back any candidate without limits.  I personally think that campaign contribution laws need to really be examined and rewritten.  It should no be a matter of he who raises the most wins the election because they can afford the most media coverage and marketing.  That is not how campaign contributions should work.  There should be a cap and corporations and PACs/ Super PACs should be abolished so citizens can get back to hearing  from all candidates and making a decision based on what the candidate believes in.  

So there you have it.  My political rant for the day! 

Monday, April 6, 2015

Easter 2015

As I've mentioned before I was raised in a bi-religious household.  My dad is Catholic and my mom is Jewish.  My parents raised my sister and I Catholic because it was a much more important issue to my dad than my mom. I was sent to Catholic schools from kindergarten through high school.  I hated it.  I hated the structure and rigidness.  I hated being told what to wear.  Once I left home my attendance to Church left something to be desired.  A big part of it was the fact that I never felt comfortable at the Churches near where I lived.  After I had Princess Bear (PB) I started attending church on a more regular basis.  When PB was little this was no easy feat.  No only kids require X amount of gear to just schlep them from one place  to another but PB was also on an heart and apnea monitor.  That required planning.  I had to make sure the battery was charged enough to make it through the church service without setting off the low battery alarm.  She was also on special formula that had to be thickened.  There were all kinds of guidelines to making sure I could make a bottle and have it at the ready but hopefully not waste it either.  All in all it worked fairly well and I was back to attending Church regularly when PB was a baby.  There was another gap when she was bigger but since starting kindergarten we've been back to attending Church regularly and PB has been in Faith Formation (Sunday School/ CCD) classes.  There have been years where I thought that the classes weren't teaching her much.  Then there are years that I'm sure she's understanding what they're teaching her.  A few weeks ago we were all sitting around in the family room discussing Easter plans.  My dad said something like "Easter?  What are you talking about?" since he hadn't been paying attention at the beginning of the conversation.  Before my mom or I could say a word PB looks at him and said "Yes!  Easter!  You know Jesus dying for you so he can be raised again on Easter?  To wipe out your sins! Yes that's Easter!".  It was pretty comical to hear her school my dad who is Joe Catholic on Easter. 

Where am I going with this?  My dad and I always go to the Tenebrae service at our Church on Good Friday.  It's a service steeped in tradition and always makes me think. It's a service that goes back to the ninth century.  That is a long time ago.  I'm sure if Catholics from the ninth century were to time travel to modern times the service now would be very similar to the services in their time.  There is something very calming and comforting about that.  I know that organized religion isn't for everybody and that's fine.  For me there is something very comforting about saying the same prayers my grandparents did and their grandparents did and my great grandchildren will say as well.  One of my friends and I were talking about the rituals in the Church and of mass itself.  She made the comment that she could walk into a Catholic mass anywhere in the world and while she wouldn't understand the language she'd still know what was happening because of the ritual nature of the Catholic Church.  As I get older I appreciate and find reassurance in those rituals and traditions. 

 We attended the Easter vigil Mass on Saturday night.  Again this is a ceremony full of traditions.  One side of my loves it.  Especially the part starting off in candlelight.  The downside of this particular service is that it is very, very long.  It is when the people that having been studying to come into the church through baptism or continue their journey in faith through confirmation are welcomed into the parish.  The upside of attending this service is that it leaves Easter morning wide open for PB to get on her egg hunt and have fun just being a kid.  The downside is that is a very, very, very long service.  Like just shy of  2 and a half hours.  This was the first year that PB attended this service and she really handled it like a champ.  I was very proud of her.  

After the vigil mass we got home a bit after 10:30pm and it was a choir to get PB settled enough to go to sleep.  We finally compromised and I told her that she could stay up and read as long as she didn't come out of her room.  I just wanted to eat dinner and then hide eggs and get her Easter gifts ready. It worked fairly well.  Also PB is old enough to know that getting me up at the butt crack of down to watch her hunt to her Easter eggs is NOT going to fly.  Same thing with Christmas.  The day before we pick a time that she can feel free to rouse the rest of the family out of bed and let the festivities begin.  We agreed that 9am was a good time to start off Easter.  She did wake up at 6:30 am and after being reminded once she chilled until 9am.  Definitely one of the perks of having an older kiddo!  

She had a ball doing all her Easter morning stuff.  The Easter bunny as usual was very good to her.  Then there were gifts from me and my parents.  The kid had a serious haul.  It got better when we arrived at my sisters house.  She had gifts from my sister, my sisters brother in law and sister in law and my sisters in laws.  The kid seriously made out.  At one point she looked at me and asked if Jesus was already raised.  I was proud of her for putting some thought into and remembering what the day was really about! 

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Monday, March 30, 2015

I survived the baby shower!

Yesterday Princess Bear (PB), my mom & I made our way to Elgin Illinois which is about a 3 hour trip for us.  It wasn't a bad trip although the weather got slightly dicey as we got near our destination.  Whenever we do a road trip of any sort I always realize how blessed I am that PB is a great traveler. She usually packs her bag of "stuff" and entertains herself so well.  I love, love, love the kid headphones that only go up to a certain volume so kiddos can't blast their ears out.  I'm somewhat amazed that I'm not completely deaf considering the amount of time I spend with blaring headphones on! 

We arrived early and had the chance to visit with my aunt Diane which was really nice.  The shower in and of itself was lovely.  The food was great and it wasn't the same old boring baby shower games.  We were able to visit and have a nice time.  I did get a chance to have a conversation with my cousin Laura.  If blogged about her sudden decision not to have kids a few months ago.  This was the first time I'd seen her since then so being my typical big mouthed self asked her "Wtf!"  All in all it was a great conversation.  We laughed a lot and things are much more clear now. 

After the shower we stopped at our favorite Chicagoland grocery chain.  The have the best Ameretti cookies EVER!  I also bought bulk chamomile flowers.  We drink chamomile tea like crazy in this house.  That and Lady Grey.  My mom stocked my dad up on his favorite Polish sausage and we hit the road again.  My mom and I were talking on the drive down and we were discussing the reason why I hate big family gatherings and I'd rather be submitted to serious torture than attend.  For example yesterday there was about 75 people in a rather small banquet room.  It gets loud and feels very small.  I'm claustrophobic and have anxiety issues.  It's kind of the perfect storm to make me feel very very uncomfortable.  I love getting to visit with relatives that I love and don't get to see often enough.  I really like that PB gets to spend time with that side of my family because it really doesn't happen often enough.  I just wish it wasn't  as loud and in a much larger space. 

So that's the story of the baby shower. Now I just need to make it through PBs spring break without losing my mind.  Fun and games! :)

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Baby Shower Rant

Yes I'm going on a rant.  This weekend my mom, Princess Bear (PB) and I are driving to the way west Chicago suburbs for a baby shower for my cousin and his wife.  That means last weekend my mom, PB & I were cruising around Babies R Us looking for shower gifts from her registry.  They registered at Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby.  It's also one of those idiotic "don't buy a card buy a baby book instead showers".

 I'll go with that part first.  DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT think that people are not going to buy you a card.  How are you supposed to know who the gift is from?  So what you are basically saying to people is buy me a gift and a book to boot.  Also don't think that you can get any sort of decent baby board book for what a card costs.  Sure you can get a dollar bin book made in you really want your precious bundle of joy sucking on that?  I can assure you that said book will wind up in your childs mouth at some point in time.  Yes if you didn't already pick up on it this is a pet peeve of mine.

Now back to the actual registry list.  Oh first I have to premise this with the fact that my cousin and his wife are young, young very young.  Looking at the registry list it was very clear that they had NO clue as what they should be registering for.  I'm sure either mother would have been delighted to offer some guidance.  Hell if they spent more than 2 minutes on Babies R Us they would have found recommendation lists of all kinds.  Instead the parents to be just wondered around Babies R Us with the little zapper gun hitting whatever delighted them.  That's all well and good if you've done a couple of things first.
-Use your registry to request the big stuff

You know those big ticket items like a crib, crib mattress, changing table, rocker/glider, infant carrier and stroller, bigger car seat, high chair, bassinet, a pack n play, and a swing.  You might not get all of it but people might be willing to go in on gifts together to help you get the big stuff taken care of.  I know that from my shower I received a car seat/stroller combo, a highchair, a pack n play, a swing, and then a lot of the smaller stuff like a diaper genie, umbrella stroller, booster seat, baby bath and tons of clothes and diapers.  That doesn't include the several hundred dollars worth of gift cards so I could buy things down the line.  My parents also bought PB's crib and changing table.  They also did a very cool thing where they gave her a gift on the 11th of each month. 

-Don't ask for the same thing on both registries

I really don't have to explain why it's stupid to do this do I?  For 2 seconds I thought about calling my Aunt to see if she wanted to suggest to her son and daughter in law that they clean up the lists some but decided it wasn't my place.

Instead of being smart about their registry my cousin and his wife didn't ask for all the big stuff and did ask for a whole bunch of really idiotic stuff.  I'm talking about multiple requests for lotion and baby shampoo.  Where in the heck are you going to store all that stuff?  Also people have a set idea of what they want to spend.  My mom and I were each spending $80 and we were giving $40 in PBs name.  Can I tell you how I have no desire to go through a list of $5 items so I can schlep $80 of it twice over 3 1/2 hours?  

Also in looking at it there was stuff that wasn't on either registry that had me thinking "Really?"  For example no mattress covers on either list, nothing on the list for help soothe a newborn to sleep.  No cloth diapers or burp rags.  No side snap undershirts.  Please tell me that people still use those.  Perfect for letting the umbilical stump heal and also much easier to put on than a onesie.  

Ok, I'm done with my rant for now.  I'm sure I'll have a dozy having spending the day with my family on Sunday.  Catch ya later!

Saturday, March 21, 2015

St. Patricks Day....a bit late!

I've never been one that was big into celebrating St. Patricks Day.  Not a drop of Irish blood in me (50% Polish and 50% Lithuanian).  Back in the day when I did party a lot I never really needed an excuse.  Getting off work was enough for me.  I never wanted to go down to Chicago (I lived between Chicago and Milwaukee...great for hitting concerts on a regular basis) to spend the day drinking green beer and looking at the Chicago River which is usually pretty damn green to start with.  So the only plans I had for St. Patricks Day were a Dr. appointment in the morning and going to the Special Needs Interest fair in the evening.  I went to my Dr. appointment and was told that my eardrum was retracted and allergies are already kicking my butt.  One kenelog shot later and some tweaking to my allergy meds I was outta there.  I got home and was just getting ready to practice some crocheting and the phone rang.  I was my sister asking me if I ever bother to answer my cell.  Um, not when I'm driving or in the Dr's office.  Nope!  She asked me if I wanted to go to lunch for corned beef and cabbage.  I tried to get out of it by my nephew pulled the "Aunt Sawah.... please!!!" card.  So I told my sister that I'd be at her house in 30 minutes.  I get there and my nephew is all decked out in green.  I'll update this post and add photos this weekend.  He was wearing this cute shirt that said "Irish I was a Ninja!".  So cute and so very him as he's completely ninja obsessed at the moment!  We get in my sisters van and head out.  The place we were going to was about 30 minutes away.  I thought my sister had been there before and realized quickly that she hadn't.  If you don't remember from our Chicago trip a couple of months ago my sister DOES NOT do well when only having her GPS to rely on.  She's very type A and it messes with her need to be in complete control.  So we're driving through basically farm land for 25 minutes of this trip.  We're chatting as my nephew is watching Busy Town movies.  My sister had heard about this place from a guy she went to high school with.  He had warned her that while the food is excellent the service is pretty shitty.  Forewarned is forearmed, right?  Anyway we finally get to where we're going and I realize it's a pub.  I look at my sister and ask her if we're even allowed to take my 4 year old nephew into this place.  I then look at my nephew and jokingly tell him to tell anyone that asks that he's 21.  I then ask him how old he is and he says "4".  I then remind him of the 21 thing.  Next time I ask how old he is he replies "21".  My sister and I were totally cracking up.  We walk in and sit down .  The girl comes over and asks us what we want to drink.  You should have seen her face when we said water.  Hey we had a 30 minute drive to my sisters house and I had a 20 minute drive to get home after that.  Not wanting to tempt the fates water definitely seemed like the better part of valor.  Then all of a sudden my nephew looks at her and says "I'm 21!".  The kid definitely makes me laugh!  The corned beef and cabbage was very good but not as good as my mom's.

That evening was the Special Needs Interest Fair.  This event is held annually but things don't change that much as far as local resources go so I only go every few years.  This year PB's school was making  a push for the kids to go as well.  PB wanted her grandparents to attend as well.  My mom was willing to go but my dad wasn't game.  I saw a few friends while I was there.  I haven't seen my friend Darnell or her husband and son since the fall.  They all live on a farm in Lowpoint.  I love going out there for a day and visiting.  I just don't like going to visit in winter.  Darnell and I have been good friends since we met when our kids were little and we starting running the special needs parents support group at our local Easter Seals.  Darnell has been having some pretty significant health issues and has a major surgery coming up.  Unfortunately we didn't get to visit long.  Her son Eddie has severe auditory sensory issues and the room that the event was held in was huge, very loud and noisy.  They had just gotten there and Eddie just couldn't deal.  Her surgery isn't for another month so I'm hoping that PB and I can go visit for a day.  PB loves chasing the chickens!  I also saw my friend Erica.  She is another mom that I met through the Easter Seals parent support group. 

That night after everything was down and I was thinking about my day it struck me that most of my friends now are other moms of special needs kids.  In some ways its a very sad realization.  I wouldn't trade this friendships with these ladies for anything but it's still a bit sad.  A sad club to be a part of.  None of us would give up or change our kids in any way.  That's not what I'm saying.  It's just very common for special needs parents to lose their friendships with parents of "normal" or "regular" kids.  They just don't seem to understand what your going through.  Life with special needs kiddos is always changing based on how they child is feeling.  It's very isolating.  It's so hard to cancel plans with someone when you know that they don't understand why you're canceling the plans.  I remember once I had to call a dear friend and tell her that PB wouldn't be coming to her child's birthday party.  I know it's a pain in the butt when you've tried to figure out how much food and cake you need.  How many goody bags you need to put together.  Unfortunately her childs party was to be held in her backyard.  PB has no control over her body temperature.  Hot days are super hard for her.   The day of the birthday party it was in the mid 80s.  There is no way that PB would have been able to be outside for more than a few minutes.  It feels lousy to say "I'm so sorry.  It's just too hot to risk it.  I'll drop off X's gift this week.  Thanks for the invite though!". 

I guess the reason I'm sharing this is because being a parent of a special needs child is often a very sad and lonely place to be.  More so when you realize how very little you have in common with your friends anymore.  If you're friends with a mom to a special needs kiddo know that we don't like having to bail on plans.  Know that we want to visit and spend time with you.  It just doesn't always work when it's scheduled.   Don't feel bad sharing your child's accomplishments with us.  We don't want you to censor yourself in that way.  Try to see if there is an alternative plan that we could all do.  We realize it's hard.  Really we do and we appreciate your effort and understanding. 

Monday, March 16, 2015

What's in a name?

Really.  What's in a name?  A LOT!  Ask anyone that is pregnant trying to come up with a name for their upcoming bundle of joy!   In the last two weeks I've had 2 different conversations about baby names.  It's no easy task!   When I was pregnant with Princess Bear (PB) I broke up with her father very early in the pregnancy so I was doing the name picking by myself.  The two names I had picked were Kylie Rose or Jordana Shai for a girl and Luke Owen or Cade William for a boy.   My plan was to wait until I had the baby and "see" which name fit them.   Towards the end of my pregnancy I became engaged to my best friend and thought he should have some say in the names.  He really didn't like the names I had picked.  He thought one sounded like a cheerleader and the other a stripper.  Neither of which we wanted in our family.

  We picked a first name pretty quickly.  If you're very curious about PB's name you can find it HERE.  I don't post it on a blog because of issues with her birth father.  Actually in the baby name book we were using it was listed as a boys name but we liked it.  Then less that 2 weeks before giving birth my sister was married.  One of the groomsmen is a family friend that lives in Ireland with his wife.  His wife told me that it isn't a first name for boys or girls there but a surname.  We still used it.  

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The middle name was much was harder for us to come up with.  I wanted Delaney as a middle name.  Wayne told me to go outside to the front porch and try screaming it in one breath.  If I couldn't it didn't pass the "You're in trouble" scream test.  It didn't pass.  Then we narrowed it down to Rose which is my middle name after my maternal grandfathers mother and Lee which is my mom's middle name.  We were going back and forth for a few days but knew we had a deadline before Wayne was deployed.  He called one day and was so excited he thought of the PERFECT middle name!  Paige.  Great name.  As a matter of fact it's my sisters middle name.  Therefore not mine to use! 

This leads up to a whole different issue on baby names.  "Calling dibs on a name".  My dad is one of 6 kids and my mom is one of 4.  I have more than a few cousins.  16 cousins on my dads side and 8 on my moms.  A fair amount but not so many that names needed to be recycled either.  More on that in a second though.  When my mom and dad were having kids they decided if they had a boy that wanted to name him Matthew Owen.  Matthew because they liked it and Owen after one of my mom's closest friends who had died.  My parents had me and my sister and shortly after my sister was born one of my dad's brothers had his first child.  They named him Matthew and my mom was PISSED.  She had reserved that name.  I really don't think you can do things like that.  I always thought I'd have a Victoria Rose and call her Tori.  One of my exes stole that name.  Good thing since 3 years ago one of my cousins had a Victoria Rose.  I have 2 cousins from my dads side of the family that are named Joseph George.  Really?  The first was named after both of his grandfathers.  Makes sense.  The second was born several years later and is named after 1 grandfather.  Really?  You couldn't get more original?  

Being original without naming your kid Apple or Moses is somewhat hard.  Names go through trends.  I mentioned that I liked Luke Owen or Cade William for boy names.  Now it was more than 12 years ago when I was picking out baby names.  Since then Owen has blown up for a boys name and Caden/Kaden became huge as well.  I think if I were having a child now both of these names would be out of the running.  Another girls name that I LOVED was Harper.  LOVED it!  Then Victoria Beckham used it.  Throw that out the window.  Having a name that you're going to have 3 friends in your class with the same name sucks.  Trust me!  I speak from experience!  My named was supposed to be Jordana but my parents changed it at the last minute to Sarah.  Walk into any crowded room and scream Sarah and you'll have numerous responses.  It sucks! 

It's hard picking a cool name that makes sense.  I've never got the monthly or seasonal names that didn't sync up.  For example a little girl born in December but named June.  A little girl named Autumn that was born in February.  A boy named August born in April.  You know that your kid is going to spend the rest of their lives saying "Yes my name is June but I wasn't born in June.  Weird, right?".  Then you have the whole initial thing.  Like Phillip Ian Grahm.  P.I.G. you really want that to be your kids initials?   One of my cousins has a child whose initials spell out Mr. T.  No he doesn't have a little mohawk or wear a ton of jewelry but that's what your mind goes to isn't it? "I pity the fool!" !

Then there are the names that have correlating songs.  Again, something I can relate to!   Can I tell you how sick I am of this song???  HERE
To add insult to injury they misspelled Sarah!  Then there is this one  HERE  or you can go a bit more modern.  HERE  I've had both of those sung to me more times then you can count!  One of my closest friends is named Maria so she hears this one all the time.  HERE  When I was managing a tanning salon one of the girls who worked for me was named Cecilia.  She hated people singing THIS or THIS to her so she started going by CeCe.  I've always liked the Times Two version since Simon & Garfunkel was way more my parents thing!

You also have to go with names that don't come with preconceived notions or you identify with people you don't like.  I mentioned before that my parents originally planned to name me Jordana (pronounced Jor Donna) from the Leon Uris book Exodus and movie based on it.  My mom loved that she was a strong woman and thought it was a pretty name.  My dad mentioned that everyone would call me Donna.  My mom had gone to school with someone named Donna that she hated.  There went that name!  When I heard that story my first reaction was "I'd go by Jordi!".  I have one friend and a cousin that have named their kids Micah.  That instantly reminds me of the little boy I went to grade school with named Micah that was a bit different and was teased unmercifully.  The name now makes me sad for what happened to that boy.  So when my friend named her son that and did a "Isn't that a great name?!!?" it's always a fine line between not lying and not hurting feelings. 

So far my daughter hasn't said much about her name except for the fact that she hates that everyone shortens her name to Kier all the time.  She also doesn't get the fact that her name is not common and trying to find one of those name key chains at Disney was not going to happen!

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So if you're still having kids and are playing the name game...have fun with that!