Thursday, February 14, 2013

Homeschooling would be so much easier

Well that is if my daughter and I could actually get the work done without one of us throttling the other.  She gets so pissy when I do extra work with her that it's almost entertaining.  Almost but not quite.  I'm sure to anyone else looking in on the whole mess it's quite hilarious.  For me not so much.  It makes me want to open a bottle of wine and go hide for awhile. 

What brings up the topic of homeschooling?  Princess Bear (PB) is sick again.  It's been going on for a week and a half.  She keeps on running a low grade temp that never really goes away.  She's also been very tired and her color is just bad.  I took her to the Dr. today.  I asked the nurse Diane to put some Emla cream on PB's arm since I was pretty sure he'd send her to the lab for blood tests.  The same child who was cackling with glee when I got several vials of blood drawn yesterday wasn't so thrilled when it was her turn.  The Dr. was a bit worried about the size of her thyroid.  He did say that her liver is not enlarged so even if the Gilbert's syndrome is acting up because she's not feeling well that she's hydrated enough that it isn't bothering the kidney.  I was very thankful to hear that.  The Dr. also decided to check for mono, lupus and a few other things.  I hope to have some results back by Friday.  The Dr. wants me to keep her home the rest of this week and perhaps part of next week.  I know her teacher will poop bricks sideways when she hears this.  Frankly it isn't a thrill a minute for me to have a sick kiddo home.  I can pretty much count on staying home and trying to keep her entertained while still doing some school work.  Not exactly a thrill a minute.  The Dr. just really wants to make sure that she's hydrated enough, getting enough rest and not exposed to anyone that is sick since she wouldn't be able to fight off anything right now. 

While there are times that I dread sending my daughter to school I know it's the best thing so I do it.  I know that I can't wrap her up in a little cocoon and keep her home safe and sound.  That said I'm also not sending her when it's not in her best interest.  The school gets very pissy when kids have extended absences because at some point that have to provide in home tutoring.  I'm hoping it doesn't come down to that. I've been picking up PB's work from school and helping her with it.  I don't want her to fall behind and for the most part it hasn't been too bad.  It just reminds me that there is no way that we could actually homeschool on a full time basis.  No way no how. 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that this is just some random virus that PB is having a tough time fighting off.  Will post more as I find out what is going on.  Have a good one. 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Life lessons

My sister and I have always joked that being stuck in the car with my mom is always a bad thing.  She takes full advantage of the situation and runs with it.  It's not like you're going to jump out of the car, right?  The other day Princess Bear (PB) and I were driving my mom down to the courthouse.  She was doing her civic duty and had to report for jury duty.  She out of no where asked me about my former best friend Jessi.  I told her that I had no idea how Jessi was doing.  She just kind of looked at me.  She asked if Maria & I talked about Jessi.  Nope not really.  No need.  It's not that I don't care necessarily its just that I don't give a damn.  If there was something awful going on with her I guess I could keep her in mind and pray for her but it's not like I would contact her.  I tried time and time again to patch things up with her.  You can't shake hands with a fist.  It would have been incredibly difficult for me to put everything behind and try to give the friendship another go but for quite awhile I was willing to try.  She'd been my best friend for over 2 decades.  I love her dearly.  That said I can now say that I don't trust her and can't depend on her so what is the point of trying to salvage the friendship?  I always think back to the night that I was putting together the canopy/tent for PB's bed.  It was a major PITA and not a one person job.  Unfortunately I was the only one around and had promised PB it would get done.  I called her and left a message LAUGHING saying something to the effect of "where are you when I need help!" and hung up.  She called me the next day all worried that something was really wrong.  Um, no.  I was told to not leave messages like that ever again.  Ok.  Then shit really hits the fan with my mother and she decides to use me as a punching bag- in front of my daughter.  I also know my mom well enough that if I would have hit her back she would have had my a$$ arrested in a second.  So as much as I hate it better to just block shots as well as possible and then document later.  I did something that night that I never, ever had done before.  I sent a text to Jessi, Maria and Monika asking for a place to stay for the night.  My mom was clearly out of control and said I had to get out of the house that night.  I don't know about where you live but you can't just show up and a homeless shelter and get a bed to crash in.  Here you have to do and intake process and then show up at a certain time.  I was mortified to send that text to my friends regardless of the fact that I considered them my 3 best friends in this world. They know how my mom is so that isn't exactly the point.  It's more the fact that I just don't discuss the blowups.  So I sent the text to the 3 of them.  Monika was the only who replied back that night.  She basically said that they didn't have a guest room anymore but if I needed to stay that she could put the baby in her room.  She also asked if I heard from Jess since she had the most room.  Again she said that if I needed to it could be figured out.  The next day I got a call from Maria asking what happened and if I was ok.  She had had her phone charging and didn't get the text until that morning.  NEVER did I hear from Jessi.  She evidently checked with Maria and heard that I was ok.  Excuse me?  You can't pick up the phone and call or text me?  Even if we hadn't been getting along very well at that point in time I still expected more from her.  I know if the shoe was on the other foot I would have certainly gotten in touch with her.  Checked on how she was really doing, if there was anything I could do or just listen.  You know those basics of being a friend.  A few weeks later when things finally came to a head with the whole thing she said something along the lines of "I don't want to live with you".  Um Jess don't want to live with you either.  Didn't ask to live with you.  I asked for a place to stay for the night.  The next day I could have called a shelter and hoped like hell there was an open spot.  While I loved the girl dearly she is definitely someone I would have never wanted to live with.  First of all I have found out that living with friends basically sucks.  Second of all she and I are way to different in the way we do and want things to ever try to live together.  We'd drive each other crazy.  I just needed a safe place to stay that night.  What was going on at home was way too traumatic for everyone involved and PB didn't need to be exposed to anymore bullsh#%. 

So while I can say that in some ways I still miss the friendship of someone who knows me better than anyone else in the world.  I also know that I can't be friends with someone that I can't trust or rely on.  I have never reached out to a friend like that before.  I guess it really did let me know who my friends are.  Sad but true.  I just want to know when the life lessons that you can look back on and smile come about. 

On that note I have purged and it's time to crash. 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Fair winds and following seas

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Last Saturday America lost one of its true heroes, Chris Kyle.  Chances are you might not have even heard of him.  Nonetheless he was a hero and died trying to help a veteran with PTSD.  Chris Kyle was a US Navy Seal and was the deadliest sniper in US military history.  He had a confirmed 160 kills (out of over 250 claimed kills).  We're not talking easy peasy shots here either.  The Seal snipers are arguably the best of the best.  He was actually given the nickname "Devil of Ramadi" and had a hefty price tag on his head.  If you want to read the wikipedia entry on Chris Kyle you can find it HERE.  You can also find an article covering the statement released by his family after his death right HERE

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Chris Kyle and his friend Chad were both killed at a Texas gun range last weekend. Chris and Chad were there doing some volunteer work with a veteran who had PTSD. DO NOT leave any comments about the validity or intelligence of taking someone with PTSD to a gun range. There were some reasons that Chris Kyle believed that this would be a safe outing or he wouldn't have done it. He was not a dumb man and had too much to live for by making a dumb move so don't say anything. Yeah it's a bit of a rant but the stupidity of some comments have been so appalling and do nothing at this point other than hurt the survivors who are already hurting enough. Chris Kelly was a reportedly a man of deep Christian faith and love of country. He felt that volunteering and giving back was the right thing to do. The fact that he was lost while trying to help someone truly just increases the tragedy of it all.

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 Through my past work with the military I have had the opportunity to meet members of different special forces units. These men are some of the toughest of the tough. The thing that is truly intimidating about them (at least the ones I've met) is not their physical strength although that's damn intimidating but their mental strength. If you've read or watched anything on getting into any of the special forces the thing that truly makes or breaks many candidates is their mental strength. You can be as physically strong as the Incredible Hulk but if they break your mind it just doesn't matter. These men deserve nothing less than the utmost respect. You don't have to agree with the war, which ever one it might be, you don't have to agree with whatever administration is currently in office pulling the strings on whatever war. You do need to respect any serviceman or woman that is making it safe for you and yours to sleep safely tonight. The ones were are sent in to the worse situations and keep everyone a bit safer tonight, tomorrow night and the night after deserve respect. I would think it's a safe bet that most people could not do what they do or must up the bravery they have to do what they do.

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Yes if you can't tell a)I'm a big supporter of the military and b)some of the comments that have floated about after Chris Kyle's death I find upsetting. This man defending our country in ways that most of us cannot possibly fathom. He came home and opened a business and tended to his family. He didn't have to volunteer. He did it out of the goodness of his heart. He died in a horribly tragic way and leaves a wife and 2 children behind. Chris wrote a book called An American Sniper. If you want to read it you can find it on Amazon. Just click HERE.

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If you are interesting in some other very fascinating books about and by Special Forces members here are a few that I recommend:

Rogue Warrior by John Marcinko.  He was the founder of Seal Team Six.  You know the Seal team that was the best of the best that killed Bin Laden?  The first time I read the book I walked away thinking a) this man is a complete bad a$$ and b) this man is freaking crazy.  It is a very good read.  You can find it HERE
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Inside Delta Force by Eric Haney is another great book.  If you are a fan of the show The Unit (Hello Max Martini!) this book is what the show was based on.  If you read the book drop me a line about what you remember the most about the book.  The guy with the foot callous' always kinds of makes me cringe.  You can find that book HERE.
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Another book that I haven't read yet but have heard positive things about is Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell.  I'm a fan of Marcus Luttrell after hearing about him and from him on the Glenn Beck show many times.  You can find that book HERE

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Even if you decide not to check these books out tonight when you before you go to sleep say a prayer of thanks for those currently serving, for those who died surviving and for those left behind. 

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Still Alive

I was going to do another Obama is an idiot rant but baby girl has been sick since the weekend and I'm way too tired.  Nothing on the rant will be any less relevant tomorrow or in a week.  Right now I'm going to relax and enjoy some downtime.  Crossing my fingers that Princess Bear's temp goes down and stays down.  'Night.