Thursday, February 12, 2015


I gave birth to Princess Bear (PB) in June 2003.  She for all intents and purposes has never seen her biological father (we passed him once shopping at Walmart when she was about 10 months old....I don't think that counts).  As far as she's concerned she doesn't have a father.  Her conclusion not mine.  She's never once asked me about him and I've never brought him up.  If you ask her who her family is she says "Momma, Boaby (grandma), Dzadza (grandpa), Aunt Kate, Uncle Larry & the boys (her cousins).  She's completely ok with this being the extent of family for her.  At this point I am too.  When she was younger and so sick and I was always working on complete exhaustion there were moments I would have given anything for her father to step up to the plate.  Now I'm just very glad he's stayed away.  None of that in and out bullshit that some dads do.  There are no questions and PB things life is just peachy this way. 

I'm sure you're asking yourself what the heck I'm even babbling about.  When I told PBs father I was pregnant we were still together.  His reaction was awful.  I'll leave it at that.  We broke things off soon after.  He did assure me that he would always pay child support and help out financially.  The child support order we are working under is one that was filed in court in 2007.  In the years since although I know he must have gotten raises along the way I never went after him for more money.  I was just happy that he was staying out of the picture and not complicating things for PB.  I was ok with the status quo.  Then in January he started playing screw around with his child support payments by shorting them.  Not a lot.  Enough to fill my gas tank but not a ton.  The first time I let it fly thinking ok not a big deal.  The second time I called the state disbursement unit to ask what the heck was going on.  They said they'd look into.  The third short payment as well as none of the money he shorted on payments had me saying "Screw you buddy!".  I requested a redetermination.  The state usually tries to do this on every 2 or 3 years but I didn't feel the need to go after her father.  Don't get me wrong.  The money would have helped and he did indeed promise to pay his fair share.  I just didn't want to be a bitch about it.  After 6 weeks of trying to fly under the radar though I'd had enough.  It's redetermination time.  I'm sure he's going off about how unfair I am.  Yeah, so unfair that you've been working under the same court order for almost 8 years.  I would love to be a fly on the wall when this does go to court! 


Susy said...

Why be a fly on the wall? You are aware that you can go, too, right? Only difference is that you don't have to go, and he does. Go to court. It doesn't generally last long, and it's always fun because the judges know all the tricks. Plus, if he doesn't show, he loses, you get what you want, and he has a warrant. Good times are had by all.

Sarah said...

I'll think about it but frankly the last time I saw him it was ugly & I just don't want that in my life.