Tuesday, October 29, 2013

I'm no Florence Nightingale

Really I'm not.  I thought about becoming a nurse.  Princess Bear (PB) has had some phenomenal nurses in her lifetime and I admire them.  I did some of the pre-reqs so I could apply for the nursing school program.  Bottom line is I'm no nurse.  I don't like blood and following orders doesn't always sit well.  Consequently I'm not donning a nurses cap anytime soon.  I also have discovered through taking care of PB and some of her extended illnesses that I'm just not the "type".  Perhaps it would be different when it isn't my daughter but recent events have me rethinking that.  My dad has heart issues and they are getting worse.  He came home from an appointment yesterday with a 30 heart monitor and the cardiologist basically saying he's not sure what is going on.  Never a very comforting thought.  Since my grandmothers stroke was caused by a-fib and we already know my dad has that I can't imagine something else being wrong.  I suppose it's never easy watching parents age and fade a bit.  My dad always seemed bigger than life and the ultimate tough guy.  Growing up his friends nicknamed him "the hulk" if that tells you anything.  My dad was famous for shaking hands and rolling the knuckles of people he didn't like.  Nothing like a silent "fuck you!  I can take you out". 

SO, when Mason (the somewhat more than not significant other) called a few weeks ago saying that the Dr's thought he might have had a heart attack I freaked.  Of course he doesn't know this and that's how it will stay.  I'm the one that is calm with medical issues and always reminding him to write things down.  Since he's in NC it's hard because he wants me to go to some of these appointments with him.  I'm beginning to wonder if I was there if I could keep it together.  As it turned out Mace hadn't had a heart attack.  Thank G-d!  That's the good news.  There's always a flip side though right?  He has a leaky heart valve.  The Dr. seems to think that this isn't a huge issue and just watching it is ok.  I guess if there is anything to be thankful for as far as long distance is that he doesn't have to see me freak out.  He's 40 years old and has chronic nerve pain which is taxing on the heart in and of itself and know there is this issue.  Ummmm, at what point is worrying and a game plan allowed? 

Ahhhh, so glad I have this blog because it is way cheaper than therapy and venting is healthy, right?  SO, after taking care of a sick PB for a week and Dad topping it off with the heart monitor I'm thinking that a spa weekend or a good bottle of wine is needed.  If not the brave face is going to quickly shatter.  If you read this all the way through- thanks!  I know I'm whining.  Really I do.  Then again it's that what a personal blog is for (some of the time any way?).  I'm going to sign off, take care of PB and curl up with some good tea to watch Sons of Anarchy.  Escape it is!!!!!!!!!!  Have a good one! 


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