Thursday, September 27, 2012

I love my nephews!

Today was mainly a Lukie and Aunt Sarah day which was alright by me.  I love when I get to spend one on one time with the boys!  I think we're going to have to start the Farm and Fleet adventures soon as well as the pumpkin farm.  Yesterday I introduced the boys to Jimmy Buffett.  Tyler loved it because the youtube video I picked for Volcano was from a show at Wrigley.  Anything that has to do with his Cubbies is ok in his book.  The fact that it was about a volcano was also cool with him.  Cheeseburger in Paradise didn't go over so well.  What can you do?  Today Luke wanted to keep on watching the same Wubzy (?) Halloween video again and again and again and again and again and again  (you're getting the point here right?).  Finally Aunt Sarah had enough and decided it was time to once again further his music education.  He was completely loving Marley which is not a big surprise since most kids do.  Princess Bear (PB) loves listening to the lion man.  I have no idea why she calls Marley the lion man but she has ever since she was little.  When I totaled the car a few years ago I had to go get everything out of it.  I thought I was done and went on my merry little way.  I got home and PB asked to listen to Marley.  Oh shit!  It was still in the cars player.  They hadn't demolished the car yet so Marley was saved.  So Lukie and I chilled with Bob Marley for awhile.  After that I introduced him to the Specials.  We were listening to Message to you Rudy and I asked him what he thought.  He looked at me and then looked down at the ipad again and turns back to me "pretty cool".  I love that he actually was thinking about and listening to the music.  I also didn't know that Amy Winehouse covered the song.  The things you'll learn on youtube!  After that we listened to some Sublime, Alan Jackson and The Clash.  It'll take some time but I'm sure that I will have the child broken out of my sister and brother in laws little music mold!  Don't get me wrong I love my sister and brother in law and think that they are great parents.  I also think that my sister and brother in law are as straight possible.  I think in their little world their boys will be perfect little kids and go to school and get straight A's, never buck them or the system and go on to school to become Doctors or lawyers.  My sister declared from the time that Tyler was an infant that her kids would never be allowed to play football in school.  Also once they were in college my sister and brother in law would only help financially if they were studying an approved career option.  Now since I'm the one living with my daughter at my parents maybe I shouldn't say anything except for the fact that PB and I are here because it's better for her and long ago my parents decided that they didn't want me to work but concentrate on raising PB.  Probably one of the biggest mistakes I've made overall but that's a different post.  The bottom line is that PB is a secure, happy little girl that is doing amazingly well and has made huge progress despite what the Dr's told me was possible.  Ok so back to my nephews and I guess PB as well.  I've always said that PB and the boys were more like siblings than cousins.  They fight like siblings and love like siblings.  I think at times my sister and bil being the straight laced ones will help all three of the kiddos.  There is also times that have a free spirit rebellious mom/ Aunt is a good thing.  I think it will all balance out in the end.  I'm also so grateful that I have my nephews and that they are going to be spending a few more years here before Cat transfers my brother in law.  It's been so nice to have an active part the lives of two little kids that don't have the complicated medical needs.  I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything in the world and she's taught me more than I could have ever imagined.  She's more of a blessing than I deserve.  I also know that I'm human and every once in awhile I want to know why or what if.  I get that you can't live your life doing what ifs and I really do try not to visit there often.  I remember around PB's first birthday I added up how many days she'd spent in the hospital in her first year.  Now what?  I never did that again.  I also know that living in land of whys and what ifs isn't a way to help yourself.  My family never understood why I was willing to have more kids after PB was born.  Why not?  First and foremost PB's diagnosis is not a genetic issue.  It is for her but it wasn't a passed down issue.  Then there is the obvious that if I was to have ever had another the DNA was going to be 50% different since her father and I parted ways long ago.  To me it was never even an issue of how could I have another child which is how my entire family felt but why wouldn't I.   I've always said that PB is an only that never wanted to be an only.  Another reason that I'm so glad that she and my nephews are close.  Even as recently as a year ago my uncle was hassling me that I would even consider having another child and how it would be so unfair to PB and yada yada yada.  Since I'm now at the point where having kids is pretty much a moot point I would really like to give the various family members who've given me a hard time about it a bitch slap.  Wow I'm in another post.  All about the dysfunction of my family and lack of boundaries.  It's kind of like my mom's brother and sister not like PB's name and giving her a nickname before she was even born.  Although I hated that my sister wouldn't tell us the kids names before they were born I get it.  OK so there it is.  A rundown on today along with a lot of rambling.  I'm now off to make dinner.  Once again my daughter is already bitching about my menu choice.  10 bucks says she eats like a starving child and begs for more.  Then its time to get the house picked up because Farm Kings is on tonight! 

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