Ok, so enough about SoA. Just that watching it made me feel a bit raw. Also watching it was somehow enough to set my mom off on yet another tangent. I had laundry going, dishes were done and the house excluding my room was picked up. I wasn't about to go into my room because every time I walked in Princess Bear (PB) asked if I was going to sleep. Oh in addition to having committed the crime of relaxing and watching TV I also had not taken the garbage to the curb for pick up. I went to do it but my mom doesn't like it being down after dark. After 10pm pretty much counts as dark unless it's summertime in Alaska. I asked my mom what the deal was since she clearing wasn't worried about my safety (isn't it just peachy knowing that my parents honestly don't give a shit?) to which I got this response "I don't care about your safety I care about mine." Um our neighborhood may have declined in safety a bit over the years but we're FAR from being in the hood and having to worry about being out after dark. I'm thinking it's just another control issue with my mom. Especially since she took it into a full blown issue with you must get up at first light and get it out and you better hope like hell that the garbage man hasn't come yet. She then asked me what should happen if I missed the garbage pick up. Yes she wanted me to pick a punishment for not putting the garbage out in time to her specs. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How old are we? The best part of all is that if I mess up the only one it effects is me since I'm the only one taking out trash. So I might have more than 1 can next week? Oh my! End of the world. Ok so that is more of me feeling just a bit... odd.
I really can't even put a feeling on what I'm feeling right now. Tired would be the closest I can come up with. Somewhere between that, raw and do not pass go give me a bottle of wine stat!
So this morning I went to my sisters to watch the boys. I brought some craft things to do something with the boys. My sister is freaking out about having the entire side of her husbands family over tonight. She was worried that the boys and I were going to make a mess. It was an odd day there with Tyler being in pain and almost in tears about his stomach hurting and Luke being sick with general ick. The boys picked up on their mom being out of sorts and it was just not cool. All that said I did have a good time with the boys. My sister so has met her match in those two! Well played Karma, well played!
We got a call from horseback riding therapy this morning as well to cancel today's session. They had to put Hank my favorite horse there down this morning. I was pretty bummed about that. He was a gorgeous paint that just had a great personality. I called to talk to Emma, the equine coordinator, this afternoon. In addition to his age Hank developed some neurological issues that just made it so the only fair thing was to put him down. Emma and I discussed that they aren't just animals. They're pets. Telling PB that horseback riding therapy is cancelled never goes over well so I really wasn't looking forward to the questions I knew she'd have. One of her favorite horses Strawberry died over winter break and she still talks about it and asks questions sometimes. So on the way home from school I told her that riding was cancelled because Hank died today and they needed to take care of things. PB was so sweet and wanted to know if his eyes were already closed or if she could go say goodbye. I said that his eyes were already closed. It's times like this that her cognitive delays make it even harder along with the fact that she so needs her schedule and things to be status quo. She then wanted to know when Hank would open his eyes again. We decided probably when he got up to Heaven and was with Strawberry again. She seemed to be ok with it all. I'm sure there will be more questions.
I've decided that regardless of my dad's feelings about me getting more tattoos I'm getting another. I really want a white tattoo so I figure its kind of like not really getting one. It's another control thing about living here but I'm about done with that. It's not like I'm 16 telling them I want one. It's also not like I have a lot (3). So, I've asked on FB if anyone has any knowledge about white tattoos. A lot of what I've read said that if you have darker skin color it isn't a good idea. I'm wondering about if you're pale as hell and related to Casper. I need to get in touch with Ted and see who I can go to here. If you aren't familiar with white tattoos here is some INFO. Actually I love this heart and want something similar with a K in it.
So that is the story here. Also prayers and thoughts going out to my friend Jen. Her father passed away last night. It was not unexpected but nonetheless still incredibly hard I'm sure. I'm now off to peel PB away from the other computer and attempt to clean up her play shelves in the family room. If I don't post for a day or two it might mean that the shelves won.