Friday, April 25, 2014

If I knew then....

Princess Bear (PB) had her piano lesson today.  Her piano teacher is a very dear, long time family friend.  She was actually my sisters piano teacher way back in the day.  She was telling me about a woman she knows that is pregnant with her 15th child.  Yes!  You read that correctly!  Her 15th child!!!  Also none of the births were multiples!!!  I had such a rough pregnancy with PB that I can't even fathom doing it another 14 times (yes I'm aware that every pregnancy is different but after you've spent 7.5 months throwing up and on a drug they give cancer patients for nausea tell me how you'd feel!).  This made me think about 2 of my cousins that I'm going to see at a family wedding next month.  They are both divorced and desperately want to be mothers.  I can relate.  I really can.  I used to say that if I wasn't married by the time I'm 30 I'm just going to be a single mom.  Yeah- if I knew then what I know now.  Being a parent under the best of circumstances is hard.  Even with a partner.  Being a single parent is so tough.  There is just no easy way to describe it.  I know that all moms are on duty 24/7 but single parenthood is a different 24/7.  There are no breaks.  There is no one to look at and say "Today has sucked major @#(* and I'm outta here for a couple of hours- you're on!".  There is no one to help you when your child has the flu and is miserable and you have the same flu.  I can't say that I would have changed anything once I found out I was pregnant but I sure can say that I'll never be so flip about single parenthood again.

I'm done with the single parenthood bit.  Now lets talk about if I knew then what I know now what I would have done differently during my pregnancy and raising PB in the early years.  First and foremost, you know how every OB-GYN in the world gives out a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting"?  Yeah that's all kinds of well and good but they also need to give out a copy of Healthy Child Healthy World and tell parents to get familiar with its website as well.  It's absolutely terrifying what toxins they are finding in the cord blood and blood streams of newborns.  I'm not talking about moms that are living high risk lifestyles either.  I'm talking about everyday moms.  I'm talking about moms that think painting a room for the babies nursery is safe (guess what- it's not!!!).  I also saw something the other day that made me cringe.  Vanilla scented baby pacifiers.  Yeah- do you know what is in that vanilla scent?  Nothing you want around your newborn!  Here is a short video from the Healthy Child Healthy World website.  Share it with those you know who are pregnant or are thinking about getting pregnant.

 There are lots of other thinks I'd change like I'd probably have used cloth diapers.  Have you ever seen a child that has had a reaction to the chemicals in diapers?  My friends son did and it was awful.  If I didn't go to completely cloth I would have done diapers that weren't bleached.   I'm not sure how since PB had to quit nursing because she was aspirating and needed thickened feeds and breast milk doesn't always thicken well but I would have at the very least used organic non GMO formula. 

I don't beat myself up too much because I didn't know about these things when I was pregnant and PB was little.  I just to the best I can now.  That means very very little artificial anything.  Organic fresh fruits and veggies.  No parabens or phthlates in bath products.  Every little bit helps.

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