Just when I thought that things were going relatively well my mother turned into her usual self and the crud has hit the fan. If I don't do things exactly there way then I must move out. I knew that the rooms were really just an issue for my mom to hide behind but it really has gone to beyond the ridiculous. I understand that my parents aren't thrilled with me living here and frankly I don't like it much more than they do. I want to get my butt through school, in a program that will make it so I have some marketable skills and Princess Bear (PB) and I will be ok on our own. For some unknown reason my parents think that I want to stay here and have no plans on leaving. I could lay out my pans for them and they still don't believe it. My mom is generally unhappy in her life and chooses to blame it on me. Ok, seriously now folks if I had that kind of power over life would mine be like this?!!!? I would be rich, thin, NOT LIVING IN HER HOUSE! and hopefully have a good man by my side.
Now I know that I haven't been keeping up with the house work like I should but its so easy since NOTHING is ever picked up, cleaned up or taken care of unless I do it. My parents have never had a home that was ever generally neat or company ready. My mom has somehow convinced herself that if I moved out that she would suddenly start keeping up her house. So as of today I have to show my dad my budget sheet daily and a chart of what I do all day in 1/2 hour incriments. They think this is normal and alright for them to expect. I understand the absurdity of it but also know that for right now I have nowhere else to live. Can I just go stand in a corner and alternately scream and bang my head againgst the wall until I pass out?!!!?
I really hate that I'm stuck here and at their mercy. I need to figure out what program I'm applying to, get some credit counceling and make some plans. I have a basic idea of what I want but its time to get specific.
I know that unless you've lived this you're reading this going just get out. I wish it was that easy. I really can't explain it so I'll just say thanks for letting me vent.