I must admit I've been in a bit of a funk lately. As much as I was looking to the school year beginning again (much more for Princess Bear than myself... does that make me a bad mom?) its been very bittersweet. I miss the carefree feel of summer. I'm highly unmotivated in my chemistry class. Unfortunately I need a swift kick in the arse because I need to pass this class and do it well. I've been planning on applying for the dental hygiene program. Applications for next fall have to be completed by Feb 1st 2009. I MUST have completed and pass this chem class before I apply. I'm also giving some consideration to this program. I could handle working for the government again! (Thinking FEMA)
Anywoo~ I digress. I'm in a funk and Princess Bear (PB) isn't a happy camper either. I know that my problem is my depression as well as SAD kicking in and kicking my butt. Add basic exhaustion to that & I'm not happy. Princess Bear (PB) is in a funk too. Its breaking my heart. She loved school so much the past two years and was really looking forward to returning this year. This is a new room, new teachers, new routines and it isn't sitting very well with PB. To top it off she isn't wanting to wear her eyepatches. On Tuesday morning she was literally hysterical about the dual thought of wearing a patch & returning to school. This is so not normal behavior for her. To add insult to injury I'm about ready to blast the school for some bits of stupidity on their part. After all the hulabaloo about the air conditioner they aren't even sitting PB near the AC unit. On Friday she was a table away...not bad but why? Yesterday when I took her in she now has a permanent seat...all the way across the room from the AC unit. HELLO! If she overheats she cannot bring her body temp down well by herself. Consequently seizures are a very real possibility. I don't understand why they aren't taking this seriously. The other half of this is that PB is supposed to have a one on one aide for PE to monitor her so she doesn't over heat. It was the only reason I signed off on her IEP. I really wanted to keep her in adaptive PE. I found out on Friday that they haven't had her one on one aide. I was ready to launch. I mean I walked out of the school, buckled PB in & called Mason thinking he would calm me down (he's the somewhat significant other and my constant voice of reason). He was equally upset. That just spun me up even more. Tonight is the open house. I'm going to try to walk in and not do bodily harm to anyone. Also, the last 2 years PB was in a room of 10 kids. In her IEP meeting last May we asked about class size since they really wanted her in this integrated room. We were told they had 20. Ok. I understand that she has to get used to a bigger room but that made me nervous. They have 27 kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My child is so unhappy and by the time she gets home in the afternoon she is so moody, clingy and generally unhappy its just downright sad. I don't know what to do or say to make things any better. Yesterday she went in her room and sat on her bed and just started strumming on her guitar (after she closed the bedroom doors). This isn't my bright, vivacious, fun loving little girl.
Today its been raining buckets all day. I don't like rain. Actually I despise it. I will at all costs avoid going out in the rain. I'm sure this hasn't helped my general outlook. I went to pick up Princess Bear from school. I rush out with an umbrella to get her. She wanted to help hold the umbrella and was laughing with complete glee and stomping in puddles. This kid LOVES the rain. She wanted to get out & dance in circles. It just made my heart smile. Isn't amazing that even in the middle of a rut it doesn't take much to make you appreciate the important things?