Saturday, August 30, 2008

Ok...its official! Men suck!

Ok...totally new news to you, right?!!!? I'm still dealing with some fall out of my ex fiancee's son wanting to get in touch with his father. (For those who don't know/ remember the story you can catch up here

Cameron (Wayne's son) and I emailed a few times & I sent him a picture I had of Wayne. I told him I'd try to find his grandfathers number & send it to him. Cameron sent me his phone numbers but I didn't call. I couldn't find his grandfathers phone number. I was still looking through all my junk but couldn't find it. I didn't see what the point in calling Cameron was. Honestly, although I loved Wayne with all my heart I'm so disappointed and jaded at this point and don't think its fair to share those negative feelings with Cameron. In my mind although Cameron is 18 he's still a kid, know what I mean? Its just the mom in me coming out. Anyway, I sent Cameron an email the other day telling him I hadn't forgotten about him & I'd resume the search. Life is calmer with both Princess Bear & myself in school. I also let the friend of mine who'd actually found Cameron know that I was trying to figure out the best way of getting Cameron in touch with Wayne without me actually having any contact with Wayne. As a side note my friends and I are pretty damn good at tracking people down when we feel so inclined. My friend sniffed out Wayne's lovely (I mean that with every bit of sarcasm I can muster) step daughter (she's 28). I'm not going to say that my friend was handling things correctly or that she isn't somewhat overprotective but in all honesty the man but me through hell. This girl Ashlee (the step daughter) wound up being so rude to my friend. My friend explained that she was just trying to get Cameron in touch with his father. This girl was rude and hateful. Now my friends and I are all pretty much the same way, it takes a lot to piss us off but once you have you better head for the hills because you're done for. My dad always taught us to never start a fight but to always finish one. So Ashlee calls my friend who she doesn't even know a psychotic Navy Whore...not cool. It was time to bring it. What I don't understand is that I was the one who was wronged by Wayne. I was the one hurt by him. I was the one that was lied to. I was the one betrayed. I was the one that didn't do anything wrong. HE was the one that played the role of the coward and bailed. HE was the one that couldn't be an adult and obviously doesn't know from the truth and wouldn't know what it was if it hit him upside the head. I don't understand his contempt of me & why he seems to lie about me to anyone and everyone. When I contacted his father years ago its because I wanted to know where to send an award & some paperwork that had been sent to my house! It seems as though he's found a lovely family that is full of charm, upstanding morals and ethics and he's fitting right in! I know that I shouldn't let this bother me although I'd still love an explanation! I also know that Wayne has probably told Cameron some really awful things about me. I know he did it with his dad. It shouldn't bother me because Cameron is never going to be a part of my world. I just hate that Wayne could do this especially when I was just trying to help Cameron get some of the answers he wanted. Part of my wants so badly to show Cameron the original blog I wrote about Wayne and his disappearing act so he could see that his dad is really a selfish jerk. I'd love to save the kid from some heartache since Wayne doesn't know what commitment in any sense of the word is evidently.

Anyway, I just needed to vent this out! Thanks for listening! I'm now going to go try once again to calm my friend down! (She just wants to go out to CA and find Wayne & his stepdaughter and knock their heads together until they're both unconscious!....thank goodness we've outgrown the hop in the car we're going on a road trip phase of our lives!). Have a great weekend!!!

HM Sarah Siggy

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Sara its Cameron. Im really greatful for all the help and shit that u have been through. Im sry for what my dad has done to u and the shit that u had to go through while u were with him. U may not think that i am part of ur world but maybe one day i will be more than i am now.