How's it going?

Man can I tell you that the last couple of days have been surreal and its not going to get better soon? My dad is taking his brothers death very hard. My dad had kind of made it a mission since my uncle got sick to call him and check in on him every few days and they grew a lot closer. My dad was there when my uncle passed. He arrived at the hospital and my uncle died about 3 minutes later. My Aunt had a lot of support which is great but honestly what do you tell a woman who was just widowed at 44 and left with 3 boys 12 and under who are very hurt and confused?

My moms boss offered mass for my uncle today which is so nice. Then someone who works at the hospital who went to High school with my uncle and knows my mom came by to talk to her. He was telling my mom some stories of my uncle in H.S. My dad got a real kick out of the funny ones and really liked hearing that my uncle was very nice to everyone. The guy did say if you were having a party and needed to get beer that all you had to do was tell my uncle! I guess I came by some of my traits rightfully! My dad was a bit of a brawler and a pool shark. I'm not a shark and haven't played pool in years but I LOVED playing pool when I was living up North working for the Navy. Its kind of weird because my dad is the oldest of 6 and my mom is one of 4. I've always had lots of aunts and uncles around growing up. It almost makes me feel bad for my daughter and nephew.

I'm having a hard time feeling guilty all around because my uncle and I often butted heads (he also tortured me as a kid!) and just being angry because he had fought for his life so long and so hard that I really just thought he was going to make it. I feel so awful for my cousins. The twins are 9 and Joey is 12. The last 4 years of their life has been overshadowed by their dads illness and now he's gone. I also can't go to the funeral this Saturday and really not happy about that. I would like to be there for the family.

Well, once again this was one of those posts of my just needed to blog to get it out. Not too exciting to read I'm sure but hopefully it will help me put everything in a good perspective.